By dinner time, I was feeling restless and was dreading spending the night alone, so I showered, pulled on jeans and a T-shirt, and headed over to The Lucky Clover for a drink. I turned on my phone to call Tony and saw the text that Emily had sent me the day before. I’d ignored it when it first showed up, and now I hesitated for a moment, then deleted the message before I texted Tony and asked him to meet me for a drink.
The bar was pretty empty when I arrived, and I was surprised to see KO back behind the bar.
“Where you been, lady?” I asked, as I shed my coat and sat down on a stool.
“Away,” she replied with a smile. “What’ll it be, big guy?”
“Give me a whiskey and a draft,” I said, pulling out my wallet and tossing a 20 onto the bar.
“Going straight to the hard stuff, eh?” she laughed, as she took the bill and set it on the register before she poured my shot.
“Just need to relax a little,” I said, as I pulled the glass of amber liquid toward me and stared into it as she drew me a beer.
“I heard about your daughter,” she nodded, setting the foaming glass in front of me. “I’m glad she got home safely.”
“Yeah, well, that might not be the end of it,” I said glumly. I knew Emily was living at KO’s house, and that if the bartender was back, then she had surely heard about what had happened.
“So, what’s going on?” she asked, as she turned on the sink beneath the bar and poured soap into one side. When I didn’t say anything, she shrugged and began washing dishes without a word. When one of the old guys at the end of the bar signaled her for another round, she turned off the water and walked to the end of the bar.
“It’s all fucked up,” I said quietly, when she returned from taking care of the other guys.
“What’s fucked up?” she asked, without looking at me.
“My ex-wife has filed a petition with the court to get sole custody of my daughter,” I said, as I lifted the whiskey and quickly tossed it back. “She thinks I’m an irresponsible parent, and I’m beginning to wonder if she’s right.”
“That’s bullshit,” KO said matter-of-factly.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t know where my daughter was for almost 24 hours,” I shrugged. “So, if the shoe fits…”
“Look, I know you blame Emily for a lot of this,” KO said, looking straight at me. “And she’s feeling awful about what’s happened, but you need to talk to her, man.”
“I’m not sure there’s a lot to talk about,” I said flatly. “She didn’t tell me that my daughter had returned. That’s a breach of trust.”
“You’re such an asshole,” KO said, shaking her head. “You’re going to blame Emily for the trouble you have with your wife simply because she was caught between trying to make sure your daughter didn’t take off running again and making a call to you?”
“She’s an adult! She should have acted responsibly!” I said, raising my voice as I felt the anger rising inside me.
“Don’t fucking yell at me, man,” KO warned. “I’m just saying that maybe you need to take a good look at your own responsibility in the matter before you point the finger at someone who was caught between a rock and a hard place. You know that Remy met up with Em at your house earlier this week and was exceptionally rude to her, right?”
“She did? She was?” I said, stunned that Emily hadn’t said anything about it to me.
“Yeah, Remy treated Em the way Em’s mother treats her,” KO nodded. “All manners and nice, but underneath it she just tore her to bits.”
I said nothing as I downed my beer in three swallows and tapped the bar for another round. KO refilled my glasses and stood silently waiting for an answer.
“Are you saying this is all my fault?” I finally asked.
“I’m not, but I think you are,” she said, as several guys entered the bar and sat down next to the old guys at the other end. KO left me sitting there brooding while she went to take their drink orders.
“What do you mean I think it’s my fault?” I asked when she returned.
“I mean, I think you feel guilty for not being able to read a teenager’s mind and for going on a date with Emily the night that Nina ran away,” she said. She waited for her words to sink in, and then leaned across the bar and added, “And I think it’s a lot easier for you to blame Emily so you can run away from what you feel about her.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said, looking away. I did know what she was talking about, but I hadn’t yet admitted it to myself, so hearing her say it was unsettling.
KO opened her mouth to say something else, then closed it and walked away. I tossed back the second whiskey and was halfway through the beer when Tony came bursting through the door hollering, “Bartender, pour me a beer! We’re gonna celebrate tonight!”
Tony sl