Cowboy Baby Daddy

“I watched some ER show one time, and the doctor was talking about how he always had a regular in the hospital. He’d come in with broken light bulbs up his asshole. Don’t do it, dude. It’s not a good road,” he said.

“I’m not shoving light bulbs up my ass,” I said. “I’m not doing anything like that. I just didn’t know shit like this existed.”

“Shit like what?” he asked.

“They had a stepbrother and sister on the show that were sleeping together,” I said.

He slowly panned his gaze over to me. The waves began to get choppier underneath us, and we readied ourselves for the wave. I rode it all the way inland while Todd got blown off his board, so I paddled back out to him to make sure he was alright.

“You good, dude?” I asked.

“Are you thinking of sleeping with Stella?” he asked.

My blood ran cold as we got ourselves back up onto our boards. Was I that obvious? Did I not do this right? Todd was my best friend. Maybe he could see through my ruse.

“Because that’s gross, dude. She’s your fucking sister,” he said.

“Well, the argument on the show was that even though they grew up together, they weren’t actually related,” I said.

“This another one of the weird things you’re going to study on the side until you know every damn statistic on it?” he asked.

“Dude, I’m just asking your fucking opinion. You asked me what I’ve been doing with my life, this is it. I’m not partying like you because I don’t have some laid-back schedule anymore, so at 2 in the morning I turn on the TV after studying, and that’s the kind of shit I get. You want to talk about it or not?”

“Fine, dude. Let’s talk about it,” he said. “It’s disgusting. He’s doing his sister. Related or not, that’s what’s happening. At least, that’s how I feel about it.”

“Alright. That’s all. Just trying to talk about shit that’s caught my attention is all,” I said.

“You doing alright?” Todd asked.

“What?”

“You doing alright? You know, with the business and everything.”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I asked.

“I just don’t want to see you lose your happiness. You know, the life you wanted to lead. If you’re not happy, give the company to Stella. I’d rather see you happy than rich,” he said.

“I’m fine,” I said.

We surfed in relative silence, catching wave after wave while my mind swirled. There was a good chance Stella felt the exact same way Todd did, which made me the fucking freak. Maybe what we did was gross. Maybe I had just had sex with my sister. Maybe she fell asleep every night throwing up in her own mouth at the mere fact that I’d touched her, much less stuck my dick in her.

Maybe she was still plotting to take the company from me and would use this as leverage.

A wave rolled me over and dragged me under. I flipped and rolled as I held my breath, my board keeping me from hitting the ocean floor. I felt weightless in time, suspended in midair while the world around me continued to turn. I was immersed in a harsh sort of cold my heart now felt it was sinking into, and that’s when I realized that I was the freak.

I was the freak that wanted to keep sleeping with my stepsister.

I felt a hand grab my wetsuit and pull me up. I gasped for air, struggling to get to my board. The wind began to pick up, and the ocean tried to swallow us whole, and Todd urged me back to the sand as my mind came to a dead stop.

I wanted Stella.

And there was a good chance she didn’t want me.

“Why don’t we go get some food?” Todd asked. “You look like you could use a pick-me-up.”

Maybe Todd was right.

Maybe I just needed to hand the company over