“Because I knew you’d react like this. I knew you wouldn’t believe me.”
“I think it’s convenient is all. You’re bringing this up now because you’re trying to come up with justifications for not getting involved with anyone. Well, I’m going to tell you right now, Allie, that you don’t need to be so dramatic about all of this, okay? I was just calling because I think that you and Cole seem to have very good chemistry together, and that I don’t think it’s something you should just slip by. Not every mother would call her daughter about this sort of thing, you know. I’m looking out for you. I’m trying to do what’s in your best interest. And you’re just hurling these baseless accusations. I’d think you’d be a little more mature.”
“Oh my God, really? I don’t even know what to say to that, Mom. This has nothing to do with me being mature. This has to do with the fact that your husband did something fucked up, and you don’t want to hear about it. Should I have told you this when it happened? Yeah, maybe I should have, but I knew you’d react like this.”
“Did anything happen, Allie?”
“Between me and Bill? No. Other than he climbed into my bed and tried to feel me up.”
“He was probably just checking in on you. I just can’t believe that if something like this had really happened that you’d keep quiet about it. And Bill is not some child molester. He’s not some pedophile or something. God! Do you hear what you’re suggesting?”
“I was 15. It’s not like I was 5.”
“I think I’m going to get off the phone now, Allie. This whole conversation is very upsetting, and I’d really rather not end my day on a note like this.”
“It’s upsetting to me that I can’t even have a conversation with you about this. I’m not trying to ruin your night, Mom, but you call me up, wanting to know why I haven’t had sex before, and I’m just trying to shed some light on the situation for you, which you totally don’t want to hear about. And I get it—it’s not the most comfortable situation to be having. But guess what? It wasn’t the most comfortable situation to be in. And then for you two to just show up like that today, completely unannounced—”
“Everyone had a wonderful time! You’re making it sound like we crashed this party of yours and totally ruined it!”
“I wasn’t expecting to see you guys. And there’s a good reason why I wouldn’t just want Bill showing up at my house like that. And now you know it. Even if you don’t believe me.”
There was another long silence. “I think it’s time I get off the phone,” she finally said, her voice tight. “Goodnight, Allie.”
“Bye,” I said.
I put the phone back on the bedside table and lay back down, but there was no way I was going to be able to fall asleep now. I felt way too worked up. I knew she would react like that if I told her about Bill.
That she’d deny it, make excuses, and ultimately, not believe a word that I was saying. I wondered, though, if she’d crawl in bed next to him tonight and lay there, wondering if there was a shred of truth to what I’d told her. I doubted that she would ask him about it, but then again, she might. And he’d deny it, and then they’d both forget about it, and it would be as if nothing had ever happened to begin with.
I got up. Outside, there was enough moonlight that it was casting shadows, though it wasn’t completely full the way it had been that night Cole and I had sat up by the lake. Still, there was certainly enough to see by. I grabbed a pair of running shorts and put them on, then slipped my feet into my shoes. I stepped outside into the cool night air, and I started to jog down the street. At the end of the road, I turned left and kept going. I’d been all ready to fall asleep right before my mother had called, but now sleep felt like it was miles away.
It was nice being out late like this, though, when there was no one else around. The few houses I ran by were either dark or illuminated by the bluish glow from a TV. As I ran, I tried to think of how I would react if I had a daughter and she told me something like that. I sure as hell wouldn’t tell her that I didn’t believe her or that she must’ve been making it up.
At the end of the next street, I took another left, which would eventually connect me with a little road that would take me back home. I sprinted the last part of the way, running so hard it felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest. But it also felt good, because it obliterated the rest of the thoughts from my mind. And then I walked for a minute, to cool myself down, and finally I felt as though I could go back inside and fall asleep.
There was a light on at Cole’s, a light in the living room, though it didn’t look like the TV was on. I wondered what he was doing in there, and part of me wanted to go up to the door and knock. But I didn’t.
Chapter Sixteen
Cole
“So, any luck in the getting laid department?” Ben had stopped by on his way home from work. Declan was in bed, and we were sitting out on the deck with beers. “Or are things still high and dry for you? You still wanting to call this bet off?”
“I’m taking my time with it,” I said. “Why? Are you getting nervous? Are you starting to realize that you are most definitely going to lose, and if you want to get your ass to any playoff games this year, you’re going to have to pay for it yourself?”
He laughed. “I never knew Cole Becker to be a man who took his time with this sort of thing.”
“Well, then, maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do, after all.”
“It sure as shit threw me for a loop when you originally tried to call this whole thing off because you were all concerned about her virginity,” Ben said. “That definitely isn’t the Cole Becker I know. The good doctor by day, the raving hedonist by night.”
I waved him off. “I stopped with all of that stuff a long time ago.”
“I know, I know. You’ve got a kid now; you’re all responsible and shit. But don’t you think that means you deserve this sort of thing more than ever?”
“I don’t even know what you’re talking about,” I said.
“Some fun is what I’m talking about.”