“I am, a little,” Ryan sat at the table and picked at the label of his beer. “She was my go to and has been for years. I wonder what changed,” he pondered. There was sincerity in his voice, something I didn't hear often.
“Maybe she’s tired of your shit and wants more than just a friends-with-benefits situation,” I said, looking over toward the wall, knowing Emerson was on the other side and wanting to be with her.
“Yeah, well, she knew the rules. I just want to have fun; she knows that.” He looked over at me.
“Time changes people, and we aren't exactly getting any younger. Sucks to be turned down though.” I smiled and walked over to the table slapping him on the back.
“I've got to go put up those chairs.” I walked out the door and started toward the chairs but stopped. Instead, I stepped over to Emmy’s door and knocked, hoping she’d answer. She didn’t. I saw her shadow move at the end of the hall, which meant now was not the time.
I turned and headed for the chairs, taking them back into the shop. I stopped and looked over at a project I had been working on. My body was tense with want, and I needed to work off some of that buildup. I pulled out my hand sander and started working on smoothing the surface. It was well after three am when I looked back at the clock. I turned off the machine and laid it to the side. Stretching, I walked across the yard, looking up at her window. There was a soft glow coming from behind the curtains. I pulled my phone out and opened my texting app. I started to type out an apology but then thought better of it and shoved my phone back in my pocket. She knew I’d knocked earlier, so the ball was in her court.
Ryan was snoring softly on my couch, the throw blanket pulled over his bare chest when I came in. I hit the kitchen light and walked up the stairs, dropping to the edge of my bed. I wanted to talk to her, make sure she was alright, but I felt it wasn't the right time.
I brushed my teeth and laid in the bed thinking about her. My phone dinged on the nightstand.
I'm really sorry
Emerson
You have nothing to apologize for
Luke
I don't know what came over me
Emerson
I don't understand.
Luke
We should talk tomorrow
Emerson
Can we have lunch?
Luke
That sounds great, see you then. G’night, Luke.
Emerson
Goodnight, Emmy
Luke
The phone bounced on the bed when I let it go. I wasn't sure what we had to talk about. I wanted her, she obviously wanted me, so what was left?
***
I stood in front of the mirror the next morning, my eyes telling the truth about my lack of sleep. I could hear Ryan in the kitchen running the Ninja.
“I was wondering if you were going to actually get up. Here’s your shake. Let's get going.” He walked out of the kitchen and into the backyard. It was well after seven, and I stood there drinking my shake and watching as he moved around the yard setting everything up.
“I thought we were taking a day off,” I complained.
“And you need to work out this morning, obviously,” he hinted at how tense I was. I never said anything about not working or practicing. He knew I was off and wasn't going to let it go.