My adrenaline was up. I felt my blood throbbing through my system and as I looked at Cassidy’s erect nipples, I had to touch them. I had to get some sort of relief from the tension that had built up in my body.
I grabbed her by the hand and pulled her into my bathroom and around the corner so no one could see us. I felt energized as I held onto her. My mind focused on what I wanted and how I was going to get it.
“It wasn’t you. I’m an ass. I thought we had established this already,” I sai
d as I leaned in close to her neck and smelled her delicious scent.
“I’m a recovering alcoholic; sometimes I get judgy of others. I shouldn’t have acted like that. I’m sorry,” she said as she licked her lips.
Fuck, her lips were so sweet and plump. My body was hard with desire, but I kept myself a few inches away from her. Instead, I gently let my lips fall to her neck as I kissed her softly from her clavicle up to her ear.
She liked it. I heard a soft moan and felt her body relax as she let me kiss her neck. I couldn’t stop myself. I needed a release. I needed something to take the edge off of the anxiety that rushed through my body after talking to my father. Cassidy was like a drug that I needed a hit of and she had just given me the tiniest of tastes. Enough that I already craved more.
My lips moved across to the other side of her neck and again I started at the clavicle and moved up toward her ear. She leaned back against the wall and pressed her chin up to allow me to navigate her delicate neck. I felt electrified as the release of tension in my body happened. She was exactly what I needed.
When I pulled away, I saw a dreamy look in her eyes and suddenly wished I had a damn room with a door on it. There wasn’t much we could do in this room, but at least I could feel her lips on mine.
My eyes focused on her lips and I moved toward them with the promise of a bigger release than her neck had given me. My aching need was building up and I had to find a release that would satisfy me. My hand moved to her nipple and I barely touched her before I was stopped.
“No,” Cassidy said as she pressed her hand against my chest and pushed me away from her. “I can’t.”
She quickly slid out of the bathroom and down the hall toward the nurses’ station. And just like, that she was gone and I was left in a state of absolute frustration. Not just sexual frustration, but a total body anxiety that I needed some way of releasing. There were no drugs around, no alcohol, nothing that I could reach for to give me the relief I desperately needed.
Chapter Eleven
Cassidy
I let him kiss me! How could I do such a thing? My mind and body had been total mush in his arms. Every bit of self-control that I thought I had was totally non-existent when his lips touched my neck. I was a horrible at self-control. I should have known better than to go into a room alone with him.
“I’d like to start training on the secure unit,” I said as I walked straight up to Mr. March.
“Is this because of what happened with Brianna? I just heard from the hospital that she’s in stable condition. Your skills and care really helped her, you know.”
“I’m so glad to hear that she’s going to be all right. But that’s not why I want to train over there. I’m thinking of going to school to be a nurse and I’d like to help out over there more often, not only when it’s an emergency and we don’t have staff.”
“That sounds like a good idea, Cassidy. I’ll get the paperwork started. I’m sure we could have Kaitlin work with you on a couple of overnights and walk through the training for you. But since you’re not licensed as a therapist or nurse, the same rules that apply to you right now will apply over there. You’ll have to be supervised by a nurse at all times.”
“Sure, that sounds great. Whatever you need me to do.”
“I think Kaitlin is working tomorrow night. I’ll get someone to cover your shift over here and you can work the overnight on the secure unit.”
“Perfect. Thanks, Mr. March.”
I didn’t really care about working on the secure unit. I only cared about getting away from Erik and onto a different unit. I liked my job and I didn’t want to do anything that would get me fired. Normally getting fired wasn’t on my radar at all, but with Erik around, I felt like I was getting closer and closer to doing something that could cost me my job.
It was ridiculous that I couldn’t control my own behavior around Erik. He wasn’t a Greek god or anything like that. He was a normal guy. And, he was an addict. Erik Levy wasn’t at all the kind of guy I should be falling for. I knew better, but I couldn’t seem to tell my body that when he was around.
After waiting two years to consider a relationship with anyone, I knew I shouldn’t be having thoughts for an addict. Erik had to work on his own recovery and I was still working on mine. Getting involved in any way would only make both of our recoveries that much harder.
No, I had to just avoid him. Maybe when he was done with treatment I’d look him up sometime down the road. I would be nice to him when I had to work on his unit; I wasn’t going to be rude or anything like that. But I wouldn’t go into his room and I definitely wouldn’t be alone with him. If I just set those basic guidelines then I was sure I could tough out the next few weeks with him.
Plus, it was almost Christmas and he would get a pass to go home for a few days. I’d make sure and pick up all of the holiday hours so that when he got back to the rehab facility, I would have my days off. It was going to work out perfectly. Well, as long as nothing unexpected happened.
My plan worked out fairly well over the next week or so. I worked with Kaitlin on the secure unit and did some training over there. It was much easier to work the overnight hours, although it did make my life outside of work much harder. Sleeping while the sun was still out had been more difficult than I had originally expected.
“So, are we going to keep working this overnight thing?” Kaitlin asked a couple nights before Christmas.
“I’m not sure. I like the work, but I swear I haven’t slept more than four hours on any day. I just can’t seem to get my body to sleep during the daytime.”