John looked at me mildly and said, “I’m sure she could spare a couple hours a day to come down here and help out her old man.”
I shoved my hands in my pockets. “I’m sure she could, sir. But that’s not it, anyway. Seriously, I’m doing fine. I like being busy. You know that. Gives me less time to think.”
“Is it money, then?” he pressed. “You know I’d pay you more if I could. I know I don’t pay as much as some of the other ranches in the area, but we’re a small family ranch and-”
“No sir, it’s not the money,” I interrupted quickly, my face flushing. “Seriously, John, don’t worry about it. There’s nothing wrong. I’m just a bit distracted.” When he still didn’t look convinced, I tried to think up some excuse. “It’s been too long since I got laid,” I blurted out.
John blinked and then chuckled. “All right, I’m going to stop you there, before I hear all the details of your no doubt interesting sexual encounters.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “But you know you could come to me if there was anything wrong.”
“And, I promise you I would,” I told him. “But I also promise you that there’s nothing wrong.”
“Good,” he said, his face clearing. That change in expression showed me just how concerned he’d been about me. “Well, get out of here, then.” John flapped a hand in my direction. “I’ve got some paperwork that needs filling out before I can call it a night.”
I nodded and tapped my hat again. Then, I retreated. I felt kind of bad. I had a feeling I should’ve given him a heads up that I was taking his daughter out on a date the following day. I told myself I withheld that information because the picnic was nothing serious, but I knew something deep
er kept me from mentioning it.
The truth was, I didn’t know how John would react to the fact that Vanessa and I were dating again. Every father wants the best for his daughter. He wants for her to be happy, to have every opportunity in the world, and to have some sense of security for the future.
But John had seen me at my very worst. He had seen the long road I had taken toward recovery, but he also knew how easy it would be for me to slip back into my old ways.
The man worried about me. Just being distracted this last week was enough to get his attention. He still felt like he needed to be that concerned for me over something so minor. But I supposed for all John knew, I could have been back on drugs and I might have been just as agitated.
If John told me that I couldn’t date Vanessa, I would have to abide by his word; the man had done so much for me. By not telling him, I hadn’t given him the chance to tell me I couldn’t see her.
I was just finishing dinner back at my apartment when Brent stopped by. He didn’t pound on the door like he’d been doing lately, but he didn’t look sober when I answered the door.
I frowned at him. “You need a place to crash again?”
“Nah, man,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s all good this time. I just came to drag you out. You’ve been a fucking hermit lately!”
I sighed. “I’m not really interested in going out tonight,” I said. It was true, too. I’d gone by the Roasted Bison a few times since the night I’d run into Vanessa there, but I just wasn’t having a good time at the place. It felt like I was just going through the motions, putting on an act. Even riding the bull hadn’t given me the thrill it had been giving me, despite the fact that I was getting increasingly good at it.
Brent groaned. “You’re fucking lame lately, dude. You’ve been a shit wingman for weeks now, and I need to get laid.”
“Surely you can get laid without me,” I said, resisting the urge to roll my eyes at his drama.
“I can’t believe you,” he said, sounding disgusted. “You know girls travel in packs! You can’t just go up to them by yourself and start hitting on one of them because all their friends are there. Someone needs to distract the friends so that you can swoop in and bam! Nail that target.” He narrowed his eyes. “Unless, what, you’ve decided you hate pussy? It’s been, like, a month since you pulled. Where are your balls, man?”
At that, I did roll my eyes. “I’m just not feeling it at the moment,” I told him. I watched Brent closely, though. I’d seen him crossfaded a number of times before, but he wasn’t acting like he normally did. Normally, he got more and more chilled out; but right now, he was agitated and flushed, and his words seemed a bit slurred.
“Are you okay?” I finally asked. “Do you want to come inside? Maybe have a glass of water?”
Brent snorted. “Psh, no, I don’t want to come inside!” he said, reaching out and catching my arm, trying to physically drag me out of my apartment. I dug my heels in and waited calmly until he realized it was a losing battle. He probably would have won that match before I’d started working for John, but now, there was no contest.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked. “You seem a little off.”
“You seem a little off,” Brent retorted. “It’s Vanessa, isn’t it? You’re trying to get into that tight little pussy, and she’s not letting you. Probably thinks she’s too good for you. Thinks she’s too good for this whole God-damned town. But she’s just another prissy, stuck-up bitch. She might have her fancy college degree, but she’s still going nowhere with her life. Needs a good hard fuck is what she needs.”
I had punched him before I even realized I was moving. He stumbled, clutching at his face, but I didn’t feel any sort of remorse. “You fucker. Don’t you dare talk about Vanessa that way,” I told him, emphasizing each word.
Brent lunged at me. Despite how far gone he was, he managed to land a couple blows on me. I dealt the same to him. He’d never been much of a fighter before, but it was clear he knew what he was doing. I had to wonder how many fights he’d been in lately, how frequently he’d been running into trouble at “work.”
We grappled, each trying to get the upper hand. I was stronger, but he was taller and had more reach. We were evenly matched. We spun around, and Brent lost his footing. He started to fall, but with the way we grappled, I ended up holding him up. His shirt ripped, and what I saw there made my blood run cold.
I released him and took a step back. Track marks dotted his arms. His skin was purple and bruised. My eyes found their way back to his. “You’re using,” I accused, the words like ash in my mouth.
“Fuck you,” he said, stepping forward and pushing me. “Fuck you. Like you even give a shit. You’re not even a friend anymore. You’re so stuck up your ass about this whole Vanessa thing. All you ever cared about is yourself.”