Chapter Twenty-Four
Everett
The words Liza said to me cut through me, like a blade slicing straight into my heart. But at the same time, it made me realize something. Her words didn't cut because I still loved her, they cut because I felt sorry for her. She was confessing feelings for me that I could never reciprocate. I had expected to feel something for her still because I had loved her more than any woman...until now.
Now, I knew that whatever Liza said from that moment on, my heart already belonged to Vivienne. I could not and would not betray her trust. Being there with Liza made me see that I cared for Vivienne more deeply than I ever had or could for Liza.
"I... I'm sorry that you made that mistake," I said, being careful about how I framed my words. "But that's old history now. Water under the bridge, you know. Those days are gone, and it won't do either of us too good to dwell on 'em."
She nodded, smiling sadly.
"I know. It doesn't change the fact that you're the best guy I ever dated, though."
"Well, thank you, I guess."
"You don't have to say anything back to me. I know what I did to you was terrible. It was my fault that you and I didn't work out, and over the years I've come to terms with that, and I've accepted responsibility for what I did. I messed you around, Everett, I really did, and with my selfishness, I ruined what could have been something amazing. Which could have... could have been the best thing in my life."
Her confession hit pretty hard. It did seem like she had changed. I know that often a leopard can't change its spots, as the saying goes, but sometimes people are able to turn over a new leaf. I mean, I never in a million years thought I'd hear her say that things were her fault. I never once imagined that she would take responsibility for what happened between us – yet here she was, doing exactly that.
"I appreciate that, Liza. Thank you."
"I owe you an apology, and I have always wanted to say that to you. I just never imagined that I would see you again. After all, I hardly deserved to see you again after what I put you through."
I didn't know how to respond to that. I waited for a while, seeing if a coherent response could emerge from all the mad thoughts bouncing around my head.
"I never imagined I would see you again, either. It's, uh, well I guess it's downright weird that you're here."
"Yeah, it is. Almost like... fate?" she said, a glimmer of hope shining in her eyes.
Oh no. No, no, no. I wasn't about to let her grab hold of any hope of us getting back together. I was with Vivienne now, and nothing was going to change that.
"Or just a strange coincidence. I don't believe in fate," I said.
"Well, we all have our own beliefs, I guess. So, uh, how did you find life as a Navy SEAL? I always thought it was odd that you did that right after finishing a degree in education."
I wanted to say, "Well, it was because of you and what you did to me that I did that," but of course I couldn't. I wanted to keep things civil between her and myself.
"I guess I just always had a thirst for adventure, you know? And you understand how I have always felt a need to be the best I could be, and to push past my limits."
"Oh yeah," she said with a chuckle. "You used to be into all sorts of extreme sports back in college days. Remember the time we went bungee jumping together."
I smiled – that had been a good time. "I had to jump three times before you could work up the guts to jump," I said.
She laughed. "Yeah, you did! I was scared stiff, and I swear I almost had a heart attack when I eventually did summon up enough courage to jump. But wow, it was such an experience. And there was the time you took me skydiving for, was it for Valentine's Day?"
I laughed. "Yes, yes, that was on Valentine's Day when we were 21."
"Wow. How things have changed, huh?"
I knew I was treading on thin ice here; she might be playing all nice and nostalgic and pleasant now, but there was no way I could tell if it was some sort of act, designed to reel me in. Not that it mattered. I only wanted Vivienne.
"Things sure have changed," I agreed.
I needed to get the focus away from the past. All this nostalgic recollection was dangerous.
"But anyway, let's not get too carried away about how things used to be. What about now; I'm sure you have a great guy who doesn't force you to jump from hair-raising heights."