“Do you know what I noticed about you the first time I met you?” I bent down to his level and straightened his coat.
“What?”
“That you were pretty much the bravest person I ever met,” I said. “Even braver than me, or your mom.”
“Even braver than my dad?”
“Well, I don’t know your dad, but I can’t imagine anyone braver than you,” I said. “Like you are like police officer brave. No, even more than that. You are like jump out of a plane, climb Mount Everest, bungee jumping brave.”
“What’s Mound Everett?”
“It’s a really big mountain,” I said, laughing at his pronunciation. “Never mind, the point is, I know that you can do this.”
I walked over to the swing set and took a deep breath, realizing it had been a very long time since I’d been on anything that had to do with a jungle gym. At least I wasn’t showing him how to hang upside down on the monkey bars—that would be a sight to see. I sat on the seat and quickly grabbed the chains on either side of me.
“So, you sit like this,” I explained, patiently. “You grab onto these chains, then push off.”
I pushed back and released my legs, pulling them in front of me and swinging into the air. Jake watched me with wide eyes as I forced a laugh and a smile to show him just how much fun he could have. I pumped my legs over and over, smiling at Jake, who watched me go up and down. I leaned my head back as I swung backward, catching sight of Luke, who was walking across the grass towards us. Well shit, what was I supposed to do with that?
Immediately I put my legs down, running my feet through the gravel and slowing myself to a stop. As I was trying to get my feet on the ground and the swing to come to a complete halt, Luke circled around the swing set and crept up behind Jake. He tapped Jake on the shoulder and smiled big as he turned around and squealed, jumping right into his arms. Luke stood up and spun Jake around in a circle over and over again until he was giggling so hard that it made everyone laugh. I had never heard him make that kind of sound before, even when I had him pinned down and tickled him until he begged me to stop. Jake’s laughter echoed across the lawn, and I stood there with my arms crossed, laughing at how much fun he was having and how he responded to his father’s touch. It warmed my heart to watch him so happy, especially after the exchange between his parents he had witnessed only a couple days before.
I still couldn’t figure out why Sarah was so hostile toward Luke. I mean, I had been through a divorce, I knew how nasty it could get. But even now, if I saw Brian, I wouldn’t treat him the way she treated Luke. Brian had left me all alone after our child died, but I would still find a way to be cordial to him. On top of that, I couldn’t imagine keeping a child from his own father. That just seemed destined to hurt Jake more than either one of them. From the outside, Luke seemed like a fantastic father, the kind of father I had hoped Brian would have been to our son. It was more than obvious that Jake missed him terribly and that was completely heartbreaking to me.
When he stopped spinning, he set Jake down on the ground and ruffled his hair. They both bore huge smiles and were still laughing. He looked up at me, and I froze as a strange bolt of electricity ran through my chest as our eyes met. He directed that charming smile at me, and I couldn’t help but smile back, feeling at ease with him there with us. He stood up and took Jake’s hand, looking back over at me.
“Can we take a walk through the park? I mean all of us,” he said.
“Sure,” I replied, seeing no harm in it.
As we walked, Luke started to ask me questions again, only this time they weren’t about Sarah; they were about me. I cleared my throat, trying to hide the fact that it was a little uncomfortable. I wasn’t used to talking about myself, as most people asked questions about my experience but then gave me pointed advice about how I would handle certain situations. Immediately, my palms started to sweat, but I looked down at Jake, and he smiled back at me, calming my nerves a bit. I looked over my shoulder, nervous that Sarah might pass by and see us together, but I knew she was likely too absorbed in her shopping to pay any attention to what we were doing out at the park. In fact, she didn’t even know we were there, having told me to take him out of the house to get some air, but not inquiring about where we would go when I agreed.
The more I paid attention to Sarah, the less of a truly doting and wonderful mom she appeared to be. When I first accepted the job, she seemed like a single mother who just needed some help. However, time had passed, plus Luke and Sarah’s fight had opened my eyes a bit. I started to realize I was there so she could get away. With as much as she was working me, I couldn’t even think of a time of more than a few hours that she had to spend with Jake alone, unless he was asleep. Before I could think any more about it, Luke interrupted my thoughts with a question.
“So, Quinn, tell me, how long have you been a nanny or sitter?”
“Well, I’ve been babysitting since I was about sixteen,” I explained. “But I didn’t really turn it into a career until about two years ago. It was a slow start with just some odd jobs here and there, but then I started to get longer-term commitments. The summertime is usually really busy for me, and I try to have one long-term client like Jake’s mom, so I don’t have to run all over the place trying to care for more than one family at a time. Last summer was way too hectic with two families. I almost needed to clone myself to keep up with everything.”
“Do you have a family of your own?”
“Um, no,” I said, the question catching me off guard. “I am single with no children.”
The answer was biting, and it sent pain to that hollow part of my chest that had been there since my son died. I didn’t want to bring up that whole story, especially no
t in front of Jake, so I went for the simpler answer, which was no. I figured that if he really wanted to dig further in the future, then I would explain, but I barely could talk about it to family without getting teary-eyed. The last thing I wanted was for me to get upset and make this situation even more uncomfortable than it already was. Besides, the details didn’t really matter all that much; it didn’t affect my job in any way, except making me all the more warm and careful with Jake, which was the whole point of my position.
As we walked along, I answered all of his questions, keeping my answers as professional as possible. I gripped onto Jake’s arm tightly as Luke and I swung him between us, trying to keep him occupied as Luke grilled me further. I answered him haltingly at first, but his charming smile and kind voice made me more and more comfortable as we talked. It felt kind of like an interview, but after several minutes, and a lot of charm, we started talking as if we were just two friends catching up. It felt natural, which was strange for me since the only man I had conversations with was Steve next door, and those usually centered around the weather or the local baseball league. I had to admit to myself that it actually felt nice talking to a man about life for once, something I had missed doing since Brian left.
“Do you like what you do?”
“I do,” I gushed. “Jake is probably my favorite so far.”
“You have to say that,” he laughed.
“No, I mean it,” I replied. “He lights up my day every time I see him.”
“How about you, buddy,” Luke said, looking down at Jake. “Do you like Miss Quinn watching you?”
“Oh, yeah,” he giggled. “She is so much fun. Sometimes we write stories together, and sometimes we put on plays in my room. Last week we were pirates and the next day she came in with a whole pirate costume, and one for me too!”