“Look, Jake is the most important person in my life, and he always will be,” I said, still squeezing Quinn tightly. “I would go to the ends of the earth and back just to spend five minutes with him without his mother interrupting. This obviously isn’t the most ideal situation for Quinn, but she is a superstar, and we will make being in love look like a piece of cake. I know what is riding on this, and not just for me. I know that this affects everyone, even you, Amanda, and I am dedicated to Quinn, to this life, and to making the courts see that Jake is exactly where he should be when he is at my house. I don’t have any choice in this; I don’t want to continue the life I had without my son at my side.”
“How about you, Quinn? You seem a little shell-shocked,” Amanda said, looking her in the eyes.
“No, I mean I am a little shocked, but it will wear off,” she said quietly. “Jake’s happiness is really important to me, and I promised that I would see this through, even though I didn’t see this scenario coming. I am more than capable of showing the courts that we are a family, and that Jake’s health and wellbeing comes before anything and everything else. When those officials come to check on us, they will be more than impressed by the bond the three of us share.”
“Good,” she said, letting out a breath. “Well, I wish you all the luck in the world. Call me when the officials show up or if Sarah gives you any trouble settling into a schedule for time with Jake. We’ll talk when we get closer to the six-month mark. I’ll let you know the date of that hearing as soon as I get it.”
“Great,” I said, reaching out and shaking her hand. “Thank you for everything.”
“Just doing my job,” she laughed, patting me on the shoulder as she walked away from us.
I stood there embracing Quinn and watching as Amanda walked from the courthouse. I took in a deep breath and turned Quinn toward me, taking her hands and lifting them to my lips. Her cheeks blushed as my mouth ran across her soft, warm skin, and I noticed a tingling in my chest.
“Thank you,” I said, quietly. “You have made all of this possible. Without you I don’t know where I would be right now, but I know I would be there without Jake. I owe you so much more gratitude than I could ever verbally express. I don’t know how you became such a caring and giving woman, but I am so glad that I met you. Jake is going to be ecstatic to come to my house, and on top of that, he will get to spend time with you without the interruption or fears of his mother. What you did for us today is beyond anything I could expect from another person.”
Quinn’s shoulders began to relax, and her mouth curved into a small smile. She was really beautiful, and her heart and soul made her even that much more attractive. I reached up and lifted her chin with my finger, gazing into her eyes.
“We will do this together,” I said reassuringly. “One day at a time.”
“I know,” she responded with a smile. “I’m sorry I freaked out.”
“No,” I said hugging her. “It was to be expected, we never thought it would take this turn, so hadn’t even prepared you for the possibility, but the important thing is that we know Jake will be safe and sound with us by
Friday night.”
“Very true,” she said, letting out a deep breath. “I am so glad that Jake is going to get to spend time with you, alone. He will be so happy and excited to be at your place.”
“Speaking of my place,” I said, apprehensively, unsure how she would react. “We’ll need to get you moved in as fast as possible. I’ll hire a moving team, and we’ll start getting you in as quickly as tomorrow.”
“All right,” she said, taking a deep breath.
“Hey,” I said stopping her. “It’s going to be okay; I’ll be here with you all the way.”
She nodded her head and smiled quietly as we walked toward the doors of the courthouse. This was definitely going to be interesting, and I was curious to see how it would all work out in the end.
Chapter Sixteen
Quinn
The experience at court the day before had been a whirlwind of events, all leading me back to my tiny, two-bedroom townhouse, where I was currently standing and looking around. I wasn’t sure what I should take with me to Luke’s house, or what there was even room for. I was still uncertain of the living situation, or if I would even have my own room. I sat down on the edge of the chair in the living room and took in a deep breath. He had a fully furnished house, so I wasn’t even sure why the hell I needed to pack anything to begin with. Sure, I would love to have some of my books and personal belongings there, but I didn’t know where I would keep them. I had never been comfortable staying at other people’s houses anyway, and this was way out of my comfort zone. Regardless, I was going to have to learn to be comfortable there, at least for a little while.
I knew that I had gotten myself in way over my head and I was starting to feel the weight of that on my shoulders. Sure, it was nice to think that Luke and I would do this together, but we barely knew each other, and he wasn’t the one who had to change his entire life. I couldn’t be upset with him though. I had made this decision on my own, and he was doing what every man should do, working for the best interest of his child, something I admired deeply. I had gotten emotional, way more emotional about Jake and Luke than I had gotten about any other client I had ever sat for. That emotion may have clouded my judgment, and my desire to help Jake find his father again, and be happy and content. Every time I second guessed myself, Jake’s sweet smile and little voice would echo through my mind, and I knew I couldn’t let him continue like that, not at six years old. I made an emotional decision based on someone else’s wellbeing, but now I was realizing that may not be without repercussions.
It was hard to imagine going about my daily life, and being a mom to a little boy who was not mine, and would never fully be mine. Could I really care for this child 24/7 when he was here, until I was no longer needed? What would happen when I had spent all that time caring for him, loving him, and being a mother to him, then the court makes a permanent custody decision? I couldn’t even begin to fathom leaving at that point, but what else would I do? This was a temporary situation that would greatly impact all of us.
I had to admit, though, that the situation as a whole did have some serious appeal. Luke was sweet and kind, and he looked out for both me and Jake, not just Jake, though his commitment to him was award-worthy. On top of that, Luke was gorgeous and I hadn’t been able to pry myself away whenever he wrapped his arms around me. How bad could it be to play wife with a chiseled, handsome, and sweet man who was an exceptional father, and so kind to me it was hard to really fathom? Apparently, despite those things, it was still really hard to imagine. Then there was little Jake with his innocent smile, adorable laughter, and his desperate need to have the love of the people he adored the most. I didn’t know if Sarah was on that list, but I definitely knew that Luke and I were. Jake was honestly one of the sweetest little boys I had ever met, and exceptionally kind for a child. He had an old soul, and he felt everything very deeply, kind of like me. Maybe that was why we got along so well.
In the back of my mind though, there was a really dark feeling brewing. I knew exactly what it was, as we had fought each other for years. It was fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of growing close to these people, fear of being left behind, and fear of making a mistake that would cost Luke his custody of Jake. There was also a little bit of fear that I would become attached to Luke, who obviously saw this as nothing more than a business agreement of sorts. After my own son had died, I had quit my job in the energy sector, deciding that I needed a change in order to get better. I started babysitting, yearning for that connection to kids I had lost in my own life. It was scary at first, but as soon as I got around these kids, I knew I was exactly where I needed to be. It gave me enough of a connection to start healing again. It got to the point where I had even considered becoming a full-time nanny, but I knew that spending that much time with a child would make it nearly impossible to sever that relationship when my services were no longer required. That would only send me into a further spiral.
So, in an effort to calm my fears and satisfy my need for connection, I became a part-time babysitter, choosing to work for one or more families, on a part-time basis. This gave me the connections I was looking for, but allowed me to break away more easily in the end. Before all of this happened, I was already starting to grow concerned that I was spending too much time with Jake, unaware that only a few short weeks later I would find myself in a completely different position. It was one thing to go before the court as a couple, but now, the situation would require me to become a family with Luke and Jake for six months, and that had more serious implications than I thought Luke was realizing. Becoming a family meant we’d be doing everything together, from brushing teeth to caring for each other when we were sick. I was facing the inevitability of growing so close to Jake that it would nearly kill me when I wasn’t needed anymore.
It was one thing for me to think about taking care of Jake, but it brought a whole new fear into my chest when I thought about caring for Luke. He was a really sweet guy, and I knew if I didn’t watch myself I would fall right into the routine, not preparing myself for the inevitable end of things at all. I didn’t want to be caught unexpectedly and end up depressed and alone back in this house. He knew, and I knew, that becoming a family was not permanent in any way. We both knew that one day it would come to an end and they would continue on with their lives without me there anymore. I worried about myself, but I also worried about the implications that it would have for Jake. The last thing I ever wanted to do was see that little boy get hurt, especially since the point of all of this, to make sure he was no longer sad and tired from it all.
Nonetheless, what was done was done, and Luke and I had walked head first into a commitment that had snowballed far beyond what we expected when we agreed to take all this on. I had promised to be there for Jake and to fight alongside Luke to regain custody and see it through to the end, and that was exactly what I was going to do. There was no going back, and I couldn’t begin to imagine changing my mind; it would devastate everyone involved. I couldn’t walk away from Jake; I loved him too much. He had crawled into my heart before I’d ever had a chance to think twice about it. My fate was probably sealed the moment I saw the joy on his face that first day Luke showed up.
I stood up and nodded my head, feeling my resolve and bravery coming back. I had made a commitment, and I was going to follow through with it, even if it broke me in the end. I had learned at a young age that you never break promises, and this was one promise that had a lot riding on it. I was going to pull myself up by the bootstraps, take a deep breath, and become the mother to Jake that I knew he needed. I would wake up each day ready to tackle my new family, albeit temporarily, and attempt to seal off my heart as much as possible in order to keep the fallout from killing me in the end.
Climbing the stairs, I started packing boxes, carrying each one down to my car as I finished with it. As I walked down the steps with a rather heavy one, Steve wandered over and smiled at me. I set the box down in the seat and stood up, dusting off my hands and smiling.