Fake Marriage Box Set
Page 26
As I laid in bed, I thought about how amazing the evening had been, and how happy Jake was. But he was not the only happy one; I couldn’t remember the last time I felt that safe, that happy, and that content. It was like I was right where I was supposed to be. Even when I was married to my ex, I never experienced that deep of a contentment, and it was a strange feeling. However, as soon as I realized how happy I was, I could feel the striking fear flooding through my chest, taking over my feelings of happiness, and pushing them away. There it was again, my arch nemesis: the thing that had held me captive for so long—fear. After my divorce and the death of my child, fear gripped me anytime I even considered anything other than solitude. Even when my friends had asked me to come out and spend time with them, fear would drive me down. When you lose two things that are precious to you, it’s like something changes inside, forcing you to become a different person.
The biggest problem in the whole situation was that after just one night with Jake—and Luke for that matter—I had become incredibly attached. I worried about both of them, wanting to make sure they were both happy and taken care of. I thought about them from the moment I woke up until I was trying to fall asleep. They ran through my mind constantly, and all I could think about was how much I loved being with the both of them. During dinner, I couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face, and the only thing that would have made the whole night better was if I had been able to tuck Jake in with his father. And honestly, another one of those hot kisses from Luke wouldn’t have been so bad either.
I took a deep breath and rolled over onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. I needed to keep reminding myself that this couldn’t last, that it was only temporary. I told myself before I ever stepped through the door to keep a thick skin, but already I was wishing and praying that something would happen, and it wouldn’t end after all. If this whole thing would stay just as it was, I would be able to let go of the fear, knowing that I had a family to love me that I could cherish with everything I had.
Rolling over, I snuggled into the covers, holding the blanket close to me. I may have known that it was going to end, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy it while it lasted. Hopefully, when it was over, I could get past the hurt without the devastation I feared was coming my way.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Luke
I had the best Saturday wake up I’ve had in two years. With one eye open, I looked up to see Jake standing over me, giggling at the way I was lying in the bed. I groaned and acted half asleep before lunging forward and grabbing Jake around the waist and pulling him into the bed. He squealed in excitement as I jumped up on my knees and tickled him relentlessly, laughing at his giggles. Finally, I collapsed on the bed and looked over at him, watching as he did the same thing.
“Something smells good,” I said. “Let’s go check it out.”
“Yeah,” he said, jumping from the bed a bit faster than I could.
We snuck around the corner slowly and stopped, watching Quinn cooking in the kitchen. She was whistling and swaying her hips, and it made Jake cover his mouth and giggle. Suddenly we heard her voice.
“If you boys don’t come to the table I’m going to eat all the pancakes,” she laughed.
“Pancakes for breakfast,” I said with a sigh. “You are a freaking angel.”
We all sat down at the table and ate breakfast, laughing at each other as we made funny faces while we ate. It was really nice to have us all together like that. When we were done, I shooed Jake to his room to get dressed, then I kissed Quinn sweetly on the cheek.
“Thank you for breakfast,” I said.
“You’re welcome,” she replied with a smile. “Now go get dressed; we’ll all go to Robertson’s to get a new wardrobe for Jake. It’s a superstore, so we’ll be able to get the other stuff too.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said, running off to the bedroom to grab some clothes.
We had a lot of fun at the store, something I never
thought I’d actually say out loud. Quinn and I picked out a ton of clothes and necessities for Jake, and he ran around behind us, making us laugh with his silly sounds and giggles. We walked through the home goods section where Quinn suggested I get things like extra blankets, a laundry basket for him, and some blinds for behind his curtains. I would have never thought of those things if it weren’t for her.
“You know what we should do?”
“What’s that?” I looked at Quinn and smiled.
“We should go to the park on the way home and let him run off some of that energy,” she said, laughing as she looked behind us at him spinning in circles.
“Yeah,” I said with a chuckle. “That is the perfect idea.”
Just as she said that, he tripped and slid across the floor, stopping at my feet. He looked up at me and laughed loudly, and I shook my head, my eyes wide as I looked over at Quinn. She tried to hide a smile and turned to the cashier as she began to ring us out. I was really glad Quinn was there to help me with this; she was a lifesaver.
When we arrived at the park, Jake took Quinn’s hand and pulled her toward the jungle gym while I walked behind, laughing at the two of them. I still couldn’t believe how perfect Quinn was with Jake. He really liked her, and that was amazing in itself since Jake was a really shy kid. It took a while for him to really get close to someone, but when he did, he would love them more than anything else in his life. He was a really amazing kid, and I knew he fought himself to continue to care so much for his mother since she was a difficult person to love. Biology can be a bitch, and it was rough on Jake. However, as I thought about Jake’s love for Quinn, a twinge of doubt rocketed through my mind, and I could feel the weight of it in my chest. My stomach dropped.
How could I not have thought of this before? How did I not think this through? Maybe because I was so caught up in all that was going on that I missed the cold reality. When everything was done, when the courts had given me permanent joint custody, when Jake was good and settled in his life with me, and when nothing more needed to be done by Quinn, she would move out. She would pack her things and go back to her townhouse across the city to live the life that I’d interrupted when I pulled her into this thing in the first place. She would have her life, and we would have ours. I wondered if she would still want to be part of Jake’s life. I mean, she did go out of her way to do all this, and it would really surprise me if she just broke the attachment when she moved out, but I also knew it wouldn’t be easy for her to continue to come around when she was no longer living with us.
I shook my head and cleared my throat, realizing that no matter how much that would eventually turn up their lives, I didn’t have the luxury of concentrating on it right now. Quinn was the best and only chance I had at winning this case and keeping Jake in my life. I had to turn my concentration to making it work and making the best out of everything we were handed. I couldn’t sit around and ask the what-ifs at that point; I had to be determined and straight-laced, turning our little hodge-podge trio into what looked appeared to be a real family. Everything else would have to be handled afterward.
“He’s a mess,” I said, laughing and watching him spring up and down on the seesaw. “Is he always this hyper?”
“Well, when you start his day with sugary syrup and chocolate milk, you are destined to have a wild man on your hands,” she giggled. “He will calm down eventually, or else crash hardcore when we get home. I understand why Sarah wanted a babysitter since the only food she had was junk food when I started working there. I filled the house with healthy stuff and got Jake to start eating his vegetables, well sort of.”
“Sort of?”
“He will eat broccoli if you smother it with cheese,” she laughed. “And the rest of it I put into different sauces, so he doesn’t notice. Though before I left her house, he was starting to be okay with salads as long as they had Ranch on them.”