“That is precisely what I am saying,” he said sternly. “Just be careful; I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I don’t know about this,” I joked. “I might just have to kick you back out to the pull-out in the den.”
“Oh, no you don’t,” he said grabbing me and starting to tickle me.
“Okay, okay,” I said, laughing and balling up. “No pull-out. I take it back. I mean I could go round up all the pillows in the house and build a giant wall between us, so you kick the pillows instead of me.”
He reached across and pulled me in close, wrapping his body around me and nuzzling his face into my neck. I relaxed and leaned into him, loving the way it felt to have him completely wrapped around me. The warmth of his skin was intoxicating, and I thought to myself that if I never had to move from that position, I would spend the rest of my life a happy woman. He tilted his head toward my ear, and I could feel his lips curve into a smile.
“I prefer your skin against mine,” he whispered. “In fact, I don’t think I want to sleep any other way for the foreseeable future. Screw your pillow wall; I promise to keep my legs to myself.”
“I’ll hold you to that promise,” I said, breathlessly.
With the sound of his words, a thrill shot through my body. My temperature immediately started to rise, and I could feel my heart beating faster and faster in my chest. Butterflies fluttered around through me, and I couldn’t think of anything better than that. I was completely enamored by those words, and I wanted nothing more than to feel his skin against mine every single night. I had never had a man tell me something like that before, and it made me feel wanted, lusted for, and cherished. It had been a really long time since I felt cherished, and my emotions started to rage all over the place. I was terrified, happy, aroused, and content all at the same time, a mixture of feelings I didn’t even think were possible before that moment. I laid my head against his arm and could feel his pulse in his biceps.
It was at that moment that everything came rushing down on me. Every emotion, every want, every wish, and every fear blew through me all at the same time. I felt completely overcome by the feeling in my chest, and I opened my eyes, staring off into nothing as his body warmed mine in a cocoon of skin and limbs. I knew exactly what I was feeling. At that moment, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was no longer an infatuation or a hope that he would find that he needed me in his life. This was now way bigger than that in every way possible. I had let myself get swept up, and now it was too late to turn back.
I closed my eyes tightly, trying to stop my heart from racing in my chest, not wanting him to know what I was feeling. As my eyes clenched shut, I could feel a single tear escape, cascading down my cheek and curving into the edge of my lip. The truth of it was, I was madly, completely, and totally in love with Luke, and that was a pretty big deal.
Chapter Thirty-One
Luke
The sound of very early birds jolted me awake in the bed. My eyes blinked, trying to focus on the room around me. I had slept so soundly that I hadn’t moved an inch. I turned my head and looked at Quinn, realizing that I was still holding her tightly in my arms. She looked so peaceful in her slumber, and for a moment I felt more content than I ever had in my life. It felt so good to have her there in my arms, to feel her skin pressed against mine. It felt amazing to open my eyes to someone so absolutely stunning, sleeping soundly next to me, enjoying the feeling of my body wrapped around her. Electricity fluttered in my chest as she moved slightly, running her hand over my chest and then settling back into the covers.
I took a deep breath in and smiled, leaning forward and kissing her forehead. However, as my lips pressed against her skin, I froze, fear bearing down on my chest unlike anything I had ever felt before. Yes, it felt good to have Quinn in my arms and to wake up next to her, but I quickly realized that good didn’t even describe it. In fact, the fear weighing down on me made me realize that it felt almost too good, and I began to panic slightly. Shit, what had I done? What had I allowed myself to do? I had fallen for this woman even though I repeatedly told myself over and over again to keep my distance in order to focus on the object at hand. This was bad, really bad, and I instantly started to think about the fact that there was a really good chance I was going to break this beautiful woman’s heart, and possibly mine in the process. I didn’t know what to do.
I looked over at the clock on the nightstand and realized it was much earlier than I had originally thought when I opened my eyes. Slowly, I moved Quinn’s arms from my waist until she moaned softly and turned over in the bed, releasing me from our entanglement. She pulled the covers close to her and immediately fell back into a blissful sleep, not noticing my pending departure. I needed to get out, to clear my head, and a run would accomplish just that. I carefully stood up out of the bed and grabbed some clothes, going to the bathroom to throw them on. I quietly shut the door behind me, and when dressed, slipped out through the hallway door.
As soon as my feet hit the pavement and moved me forward, my thoughts were racing through my brain. After only a few days of having a fake fiancée, I had already moved into the same space with her, and we were sleeping in the same bed: something I did not see coming at all. I had a plan from the beginning, to have Quinn help me get my son back, have her help me settle him in, get through the court bullshit, and when everything was finalized, go back to my former ways, dating whoever I wanted, with nothing serious in mind. This situation, however, was not on my radar, and not even close to being in my plans. I wasn’t sure how I had even gotten to this point. I started to run faster, hoping it would help me work through this issue.
To be honest, she was the replacement wife of any man’s dreams. She was kind, sweet, generous, caring, and started taking care of everything as soon as she walked in the door. She couldn’t be more perfect if I had sculpted her myself. She had sucked me in from the first day with her, her, well, her everything. Her smile, her demeanor, her willingness to go above and beyond for both Jake and me, and especially her sexy as hell body and surprising openness in the bedroom.
I shook my head as I ran, bringing my hands up to my face and rubbing them through my hair. W
hat had I gone and done? I hadn’t agreed to any of this, not one bit of it, but my brain and my body were fighting against me. I didn’t want to tie myself down again, especially not after all the drama with Sarah. The thought itself was absolutely terrifying, even though I knew that Quinn was nothing like Sarah, not even a little bit. Sarah had made herself known from the beginning; I was just too blind to see it. I saw Quinn, even when she didn’t think I did. She was guarded, but I was beginning to peer through those walls.
The point of all of it, though, was the fact that I wasn’t ready to chain myself to another woman. No matter how fantastic Quinn was—and when I say fantastic, I truly thought she was one of the most amazing women I had ever met—I knew that I wasn’t ready to be someone’s husband again. It felt amazing to have a woman think that highly of me, that strongly about me, but it was also terrifying at the same time. She deserved the absolute best: a man who could be strong in his intentions, love her all the time—not just when he wasn’t freaking out—and be grounded for her. I was none of those things, and all I had to offer was the fact that I thought she was amazing and I had a really hard time being away from her.
It had been years since I was with Sarah, but I took note of everything I had gone through, and was still going through with her. She had been herself when I met her, but she was tricky, focusing in on things that I didn’t realize she even noticed, much less focused on, forcing my hand on so many things. . She was a manipulative, cold-hearted bitch that couldn’t even treat her son the way he deserved to be treated. After all that, I had learned my lesson, and had a very limited ability to trust a woman again.
I needed to be the one to pull back, to put a stop to whatever this was that was going on. I knew that no matter when I did it, Quinn was going to have her feelings hurt, especially after last night when we gave ourselves to each other completely. But the sooner I did it, the more I would lessen the blow. Damn. I’d known that getting too involved was a bad idea from the start, and I was terrified that when I stopped this, she was going to bolt, but I had to do it anyway. I couldn’t spend the next several months falling for a girl I knew I wasn’t ready to be attached to. In the end, it would make everything more terrible for everyone involved, and the last thing I wanted was for this to end with a broken heart.
I took a deep breath of the cold air and turned the corner, deciding to do another loop before heading back to the house. I needed to get my thoughts together before I approached Quinn; she was too important for me to talk to her haphazardly. As I ran through the neighborhood streets, I closed my eyes, feeling the wind hitting my face and waking up all of my senses. I needed to do this more often; running always allowed me to think things through without rushing to a decision, and causing even more problems than before. I thought about Quinn, what she meant to me, what she meant to Jake, and where I wanted to see our relationship go. I wanted her to know that I cared deeply for her, but that I wasn’t ready for another family.
When I was content with my voice and knew exactly how to talk to her to try to lessen the hurt feelings as much as possible, I headed back toward the house. As I turned the corner and headed up the street, I glanced up at my driveway, slowing my pace as I approached. There was an unfamiliar black sedan sitting in the driveway. I wasn’t expecting anyone and assumed that Quinn wasn’t either. I picked the pace back up, worried that something had happened to Jake or someone else. As I reached the edge of the pavement, the car door opened and a woman maneuvered her way to her feet. She was middle-aged, with dark hair pulled back at the collar, her white shirt pressed and crisp beneath her perfectly hemmed and pressed suit jacket and skirt. She was wearing black stockings and modest, but fashionable heels. She looked like a female FBI agent, and I slowed my pace, coming to a stop in front of her.
“Hello,” I said with confusion. “How can I help you?”
“Good morning,” she said, pulling her glasses away revealing dark brown eyes. “Are you Mr. Luke Thompson?”
“Yes,” I said, with a half-smile as I reached out and shook the woman’s hand.
“Excellent,” she said, shaking my hand strongly and turning to the car to grab her briefcase.
From the looks of it, I already had a pretty good idea who she was, but I wanted to make sure before I just walked her straight into the house. I couldn’t be too careful since I knew that Sarah was vying to get me caught in the lie we had perpetrated in court. I didn’t put it past her at all to hire a private investigator to handle the situation.
“I’m sorry,” I said, with a kind smile. “And you are?”