Fake Marriage Box Set

The only way I was able to get through it without going crazy or giving in was to think about why I was doing all of this in the first place. I focused my mind on Jake, thinking about my life without him in it and vice versa.

Everything I was doing was to make sure that I got permanent joint custody of Jake so I could help give him the tools he needs to be a strong and generous man when he grew up. I wanted to show him all the love he was not getting. I wanted to kiss him, hug him, and make memories with him. I did not go into this to become shackled in another marriage. I needed to keep my head on straight and remember my goals and wants for the future, and not give in to the emotions I was feeling at the moment.

I wasn’t sure how to handle the situation with Quinn, especially since I could tell after the last time we had sex that she had more than strong feelings for me. It wasn’t that I didn’t have feelings for her, but I couldn’t indulge those feelings and lead her to believe that I was ready for a brand-new family. Instead, I kept my distance from her, leaving for work without all the friendly banter, coming home, speaking directly and professionally during dinner, and retiring to the den long before bedtime. I hoped that she would start to understand that our feelings didn’t matter, and this was just the way it had to be.

The truth was, though, no matter how strong I was in my beliefs and visions of the future, the last few days had seemed almost torturous. I wanted to reach out and touch Quinn, to take her in my arms and apologize for hurting her. I wanted to crawl into my bed and wrap my arms around her at night, and not just because I was sleeping on the mattress from hell. When I had spent the night with her in my bed, I had never felt more comfortable or more content in my life. Everything seemed so absolutely perfect when she was with me, being herself and giving everything that she hid away during the prior days. I had never been this frustrated before, and not just in a sexual way. I didn’t know how to handle the emotions and thoughts I was experiencing where Quinn was concerned.

I got out of bed and jumped in the shower, nodding good morning to Quinn as I passed. She looked sad, and her eyes were puffy, as if she hadn’t been sleeping well. After the shower, I piled my eggs on my toast, wrapped it in a paper towel and took it with me, needing to get to meetings early so I wasn’t late picking up Jake that afternoon. Work went by slowly, and I could feel the excitement of seeing my son starting to build again, relieving some of the ache in my chest I had from dealing with the Quinn situation.

When I got to Sarah’s that evening, she flung open the door and walked away, looking like she was getting ready to go out somewhere. Jake was waiting for me by the couch with his stuffed animals in tow and a huge smile on his face. I leaned down and hugged him tightly, letting out a deep breath. We left without a word from Sarah, which I was grateful for because I knew she knew how to press my buttons and I didn’t have any control left for her. I strapped Jake into his new car seat and climbed in the driver’s side, started the car, and pulled out onto the road.

“So, I got to do a science experiment at school this week,” Jake said, being his normal chatty self. “It was so cool. We made a lava lamp but without any lava!”

“Wow, buddy,” I said, happy to be chattering away with my son. “That sounds so cool.”

I sat there and smiled, my shoulders relaxing for the first time in all week. I sat and listened to him tell me stories about school, what he was doing, what his friends were doing, and how excited he was to be back at my house. I was excited too, and I couldn’t wait to just relax and get through the weekend with no real drama or heartbreak. When we got home, and I opened the door for Jake, he went running inside, leaping into Quinn’s arms. She smiled a big and genuine smile for the first time since the day the court official had been at the house. Jake was really happy to see her, and even though I had to keep my distance, I was really happy to see her as well. I could tell that Jake was just as content to be with Quinn as he was to be with me, and that made me happy and nervous at the same time.

We spent the evening laughing and talking just like we did the first time. Jake told stories, and we followed along, feeling like a regular old family. I even had to remind myself for a minute that this wasn’t real, that we were pretending, or at least that’s what I kept telling myself. During dinner, I watched as Quinn joked with Jake, trying to get him to eat some of the salad she had made. Eventually, he did, and though she thought it was because of her cunning effort, I could see in Jake’s eyes it was just because he wanted to make her happy.

After dinner, we decided to play Monopoly all together at the dining room table. Quinn coached Jake on how to play the game as I ganged up on them, trying to steal all of the spaces. We laughed hysterically, watching as I raced to snatch up all the properties, but constantly getting thwarted by Jake and Quinn. In the end, I lost terribly, but we had a ton of fun. Just before I pulled Jake away to take him to bed, I caught Quinn’s eye, and she looked completely content. It worried me because I feared that the contentment was also hope that our relationship was growing further than our agreement. I had to keep things solid and on track, without letting go and giving into the fact that somewhere deep inside of me I shared the same hopes.

“All right buddy,” I said, putting the game pieces away. “Tell Quinn goodnight; it’s time for bed.”

“Okay,” he said, with a pouty lip.

He got up and wrapped his arms around Quinn, giving her a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. She smiled, closing her eyes and whispering sweet dreams to him. I could see the love she had for him. We walked back to his room, and he climbed into bed, already yawning and starting to fall asleep. I started a book, but about two pages in, his eyes were closed. I turned off the light and tiptoed toward the door, stopping when I heard his little voice.

“Dad,” he said. “I’m really glad Quinn was here again.”

“I know, buddy,” I said, my eyes looking down and my voice somber. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

I closed the door behind me and walked back to the dining room table where Quinn had finished packing everything up. She smiled at me and stood, picking up the box to put it away. I reached out and grabbed her hand, shaking my head.

“Quinn, please sit down,” I said, letting go and sitting across the table from her. “I need you to remember that what is between us is only an act. I know it is hard to tell the difference in this situation, but we are not in a relationship, even though sometimes it really seems like it. I am not trying to hurt you here; I just want to make sure you are on the same page. Sex complicated our situation; I am very aware of that. I’m sorry that I took advantage of the situation we are in. I should have shown more self-restraint and control. I regret crossing that line that was so vividly drawn from the beginning. It is in no way your fault; it was my responsibility to hold things together since I was the one that asked you to put yourself in this position in the first place. It was very childish of me to give in to my carnal instincts, and more than once, I didn’t act in the best interest of you, me, or Jake when it came to that, and I really want you to know how sorry I am.”

I took a deep breath and looked across the table at Quinn, who slowly raised her eyes to me. I could see so much hurt surging through her face; I immediately felt completely gutted. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt this beautiful woman, but it seemed that it was too late, the damage had been done. I knew that I could spare her even more pain if I just stopped talking, but I needed to finish, I needed to draw the line, so there were no more questions between us. I had left too many things unsaid from the beginning, and that was how we ended up in this situation in the first place. That, and the fact that I was incredibly attracted to this woman and wanted her very badly.

“I know this is hard,” I continued, trying not to look at her broken face. “But I promise we won’t sleep together anymore. I will control my urges and leave you be. As soon as this custody thing is wrapped up, and we have the outcome we were looking for, you are free to go. In fact, after hearing little Jake talk about how he missed you, I think that when this is all over it will be necessary to for us to go our own ways. I think that the split will only be confusing and hurtful to him and I don’t want to drag it out for him, or you for that matter.”

Quinn shook her head and stood from the table, not saying a word. I watched as she walked away, putting the game away and going to the bedroom where she shut the door behind her. Instantly, my heart was broken, and I wasn’t sure if she, or I, would ever recover.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Quinn

To say that it was hard to get out of bed and face the day was a complete understatement. I’d had no choice though; Jake depended on me to be there and continue doing what I was doing before. We had come too far for me to give up now, and I had to remind myself why I was doing this in the first place—for Jake. So, I had pulled myself from the security of the bed and put on a brave face, even though I felt completely hollow on the inside. We had gotten through breakfast and lunch, playing around with each other and watching movies with Luke. Jake wanted to play another board game, so I pulled out the game of Life, feeling like it was completely unrealistic, and laid it out on the table.

Jake skipped and hopped over to his seat and sat down, while Luke sat across from me, keeping his eyes on Jake or the board game, but avoiding me completely. We were about three turns into the game when a knock came at the door. I glanced up at Luke, and he met my eyes, knowing exactly who was on the other side. I took a deep breath and pushed my chair back, figuring there was no better time for me to wipe the unhappy look off my face. When I opened the door, Ms. Brown was standing on the other side, a smile on her face.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Brown,” I said, cheerfully. “Please, come in.”

“Thank you,” she said. “I came to do another surprise inspection. Jake is here, right?”

“Yep, we picked him up yesterday,” I said, shutting the door behind her. “We were just playing a riveti

ng game of Life when you came knocking.”

“Oh, I love that game,” she said, walking forward beside me. “I used to play it with my children when they were little, but they are all too grown up for it now.”