Chapter Twenty-Nine
One Week Later
Gavin
I walked the path back to my mother's house, the sun shining down on me, but the air chilly. Pulling the jacket I wore closer, I glanced around at the flowers. It was beautiful, and where I knew my mother loved it, it didn't seem like enough.
Like I wasn't doing enough.
I let out a long sigh and jogged up the stairs to her house, letting myself in and forcing my thoughts to move away from my lack and onto the woman who would soon be a memory.
Losing her would likely cripple me as losing my father had crippled her, but it was part of life. Loving someone so deeply that when they left you, you knew a piece of you would go with them.
I forced away the thought of that happening with Maddie, too. Mom dying was almost more than I could handle, but now I was throwing salt on the wound by having Maddie pack up and leave at the same time.
But... an agreement was an agreement. She was sticking around until mom passed. That was it. After that, she'd be on her way to California, and I'd be left behind to pick up the pieces of a jumbled-up life.
"Gavin? That you?" Karen called out as I walked toward the kitchen.
"Yeah." I strained to hear if the TV were on in my mother's room, but didn't hear anything. "Mom doing okay?"
I walked in to find Karen wiping down the kitchen cabinets. She glanced over her shoulder with relief on he
r face. "Today has been pretty rough. She threw up several times this morning and keeps complaining about her tongue and teeth hurting. It's getting bad. I wish I could do something to ease her pain."
"Did you give her the meds the doctor prescribed?"
"Always, but you know her throwing up isn't helping her digest them." She turned back to her work. "She's laying down now, but I know she'll want to see you. She always does."
"Okay." I turned and walked down to my mom's bedroom as the smell of cleaning supplies filled my senses. Where I was glad that Karen kept the place sterile, it still left my insides empty. The end was creeping closer and closer, and I wasn't ready.
Not that I ever would be.
"Mom?" I walked in to find her laying in the bed, her breathing labored. She was watching a small blue jay out the window from what I could tell.
She glanced over at me, her eyes glossy. "Hey there. Come here." She patted the bed beside me and tried to scoot over, but didn’t make it too far. Her arms shook with the effort she exerted. "I wanted to tell you a secret."
"A secret?" I lifted an eyebrow, but walked over and sat down on the bed beside her as my heart quaked in my chest. My father wouldn’t have been able to handle seeing her so sick. It was almost a blessing that he’d gone before her. Unfair, but a blessing of sorts. "Alright. Spill."
She laughed and grimaced, reaching up to rub her chest through her faded gown. "Man, it's been a rough day today. Everything hurts."
"I know." I reached up and took her hand in mine. "I would take it all from you if I could."
"Nope. I'd never let you have this." She put her other hand on top of mine, and the veins showed through.
"So, tell me this secret." I took a shallow breath and tried hard to hold myself together. I hadn't cried too many times in my life, but losing her would be another one to add to the list.
"Loving someone is hard work. It's the damn pits at times." She smiled or tried to. "But, if you write down a few things each day that you like about them, that you find pretty or funny or kind, you'll have something to look back on when the shit hits the fan." She patted my hand. "Because believe me. The shit always hits the fan."
"Did you and Dad do that?"
"I did. Your father didn't, or if he did, I didn't know about it." She smiled and turned to look back out the window. "The world stands against a good marriage, throwing all sorts of lies at it." She turned back to me, her vision looking a little clearer. "You and Maddie have to fight against that, Gavin."
"We will, Mom. I'll start the journal today." Sadness swam through my chest and danced in the center of my stomach. How was I going to make it without her and dad? Most her.
"Good. I'm so proud that you found Maddie. She's perfect for you, and the two of you are together forever." She glanced down at my hand as her eyes widened. "Where the hell is your ring?"
"Oh." I pulled my hand back sheepishly. "I was working on something in the garage earlier and didn't want to mess it up. I took it off."