"I know." I leaned back and scratched the dog's ears as he laid his head in my lap. "They had a great relationship. I know he's crushed."
"You know, it's just weird. It's like, you think you're ready because you know it's coming, but when it shows up... it just fucks you up to high heaven." Ron ran his hand over his five o'clock shadow and sighed. "I wish there were something we could do for him, but there's not. He's gotta work through this."
"I need to tell you something." Guilt welled up inside of me. That and a mixture of worry. I didn't want Ron to think that Gavin and I were really married and here I was, sitting with Ron and not helping my husband. "About Gavin and me."
He lifted his hand. "Don't worry about it. I already know."
"You do?" I sat up a little. "Did Gavin tell you?"
"No. I've been friends with the guy my whole life. I knew he and you worked up your scheme to help his momma think he was going to be taken care of. There's something about it that's sweet. I'm just surprised that you were willing to do that. I know how much your career means." He smirked. "You can't tell me that being married helps you much. Hell, I would think it more like jacks you up."
"I did it for money." I let out a long sigh. Relief raced through me, though the disappointment on his face stung a little.
"Wait. What? I didn't know that part." He tilted his head to the side, studying me as if I were the sweet little girl he knew all of our lives.
"I know." I shook my head and glanced out across the yard. "I knew he needed help, so I offered to play his fake fiancée."
"How much?" He cleared his throat.
"Half a million dollars." I glanced over at him as he paled.
"Holy shit. Why in the world would you do that? You weren't raised to be that kind of woman." He stood up and put both hands on his hips. "I sure as hell hope he was smart enough to no
t pay that."
"He paid it." I turned back and looked up at my cousin. "I know you're upset with me, but I didn't know what else to do. Mom and Dad are so deep in debt that the government is going to show up any minute and take them and their unpaid for shit. And my career is falling apart all around me. I was desperate."
"Why didn't you come to me, Maddie? We've always been close."
"I should have." I stood up. "I hated keeping all of it from you." I reached out and patted his chest. "I love you. Forgive me."
"It's not me you need forgiveness from, sweetheart." He reached out and pulled me into a hug, a much warmer one than I deserved.
"The worst part is that I fell in love with him. I can't stop thinking about him. I miss him so much my whole-body hurts."
He nodded and moved back. "Well, his mother's funeral is tomorrow. Go and show your support. Give the money back and tell him, Maddie. That will mean more than anything else will right now."
"Giving back the money?" I wrapped my arms around myself.
"No. Being honest about your feelings. Love heals everything."
"How would you know?" I nodded toward the house and smiled.
"Saw it in a movie once." He laughed, and I joined me.
Everything would be okay. I could make it that way, and if not, I'd know that I at least tried.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Gavin
"I can't do this," I whispered as I laid on my back in the bed. The room smelled like Maddie. The sheets, the blankets, fucking everything. Losing her on top of having to bury Mom did exactly what I thought it would do. It broke me.
And yet, I needed it to all end. Somehow I was going to have to pull myself together and start a new chapter of my life.
Maddie reminded me too much of mom's happiness. And besides, she'd gotten what she wanted. I dug down deep to find the anger I had over her scheming me a few weeks back. If I could hold onto that, I would be okay.
Anger was far better than devastation.