“No, no, Emma's great,” I said quickly. “Just the rest of it.” I grimaced. “To be honest, I feel humiliated. I had to come crawling back to the man who used me and then tossed me aside like I was nothing.”
“You know he didn't mean it that way,” Janice said with a sigh. “He's just overwhelmed. In the course of an afternoon, you've managed to rock his entire world. Can you blame him for being defensive?”
“I had to beg him to help me out with taking care of my daughter. I had to sit there and listen to him tell me about how other women were able to do this, listen to him tell me that I must be lazy, or that I must not be trying hard enough.”
Janice was quiet. “Andrew's had trouble with women in the past
,” she finally said. “He's starting to get better, but he's still not fully there.”
“I hear he's got a girlfriend,” I said.
Janice made a face. “He has a girlfriend,” she agreed.
“You don't like her?”
“Renée can be difficult,” Janice said simply, shrugging her shoulders. “But it is a step forward for him. A small step, maybe, but a step nonetheless.”
I sighed and shook my head. “I'm twenty-six years old. I would have thought that by now, I'd have a successful career and a decent place to live, and maybe I'd have a serious boyfriend. I didn't expect to have a kid, and as much as I love Emma and I'll never regret her coming into my life, it's just strange to be staying here with someone who I don't actually like, relying on him to take care of me and my daughter. But I don't have any other options.”
“Andrew can be difficult,” Janice said. “But he really is a good guy. He's not going to let you and Emma go without.” She was quiet for a moment. “I have one last question that I wanted to ask you regarding Emma. Does she know who Andrew is?”
I shook my head. “At the moment, given that we don't know what's going to happen in the future, I think it's best that she doesn't know. She's still so young, and I don't want her getting attached. For all I know, Andrew could change his mind in a week and ask us to leave.”
“He wouldn't do that,” Janice said.
I was quiet. “We can't stay here forever,” I said slowly. “Even if Andrew doesn't kick us out, eventually, I'm going to get a job and get back on my feet, and I'll have to find us someplace to live, someplace for just the two of us. I'm not sure what happens to Andrew at that point. I'm not sure what he's going to want to have happen at that point. If he's going to want to continue to be involved in Emma's life, or if he's going to pretend that none of this ever happened and that Emma doesn't exist.”
Janice sighed. “That does make sense,” she said.
“It's bad enough that I've had to bounce her from house to house,” I continued. “I don't even know how to explain that one to her, that we're not going to be living with Aunt Misty anymore because we're going to come live here. She's going to be so upset, even if I take her to see Misty once or twice a week. Not that I don't think she's going to enjoy it here. I know she had a good afternoon with you, and thanks again for that. But she's a child, and children should have a routine, shouldn't they?”
“There is something to routine,” Janice said pensively, nodding. “But it's just for a little while. It's not like you're going to keep moving her from place to place forever. And I really don't think Andrew is going to make you leave here until you're ready to find some stability on your own. Moving your kid a couple times is pretty normal. She's at an age where she probably won't even remember it very clearly.”
“That's what I'm hoping for,” I sighed. I took a sip of my tea. “Do you think being here is what's best for her?”
Janice raised both her hands. “I don't know what your situation is,” she said, and I gave myself a mental kick, because of course she didn't know all the reasons that we were going to be staying there. She'd been in the kitchen with Emma while Andrew and I had been discussing that.
“Despite the fact that Andrew doesn't really know what to do when it comes to children, he wouldn't have asked you and Emma to stay here if he didn't think that it was a good idea,” she said. “If you have any concerns, I'd talk to him about them, but I wouldn't be too worried. Renée is the person that you're more likely to get some side-eye from, but that'll be because she's jealous of you and because she really doesn't strike me as the kind of person who likes kids.”
I laughed a little, even though that gave me a whole new panic to worry about. Of course, Andrew was only part of the battle. Who knew what would happen if Renée really didn't want me to be there. Even if she didn't convince Andrew to make us leave, she could make things uncomfortable.
At least, it seemed that I had Janice on my side. And Andrew, even if it was just for now.
“Thank you so much for everything you've done so far,” I said to Janice.
She laughed. “Honey, if you think I've helped you out a lot already, you've got another thing coming,” she assured me. “I'm here for whatever you need me for, whether you need someone to watch after Emma, even if it's just so you can have some personal time, or if it's a friend to talk to. Or if you need something around the house, just let me know as well. Plus, I know all the comfort food recipes.” She winked at me, and I couldn't help laughing.
“I'll have to keep that in mind,” I said. “Dinner tonight was delicious, by the way.”
“I'm glad you enjoyed it,” Janice said. “We could do with getting a little more meat on your bones.” I blushed, but she didn't dwell on that. Instead, she stood up. “I need to be getting home for the evening. The hubby will be waiting for me. But I'm around during the day, so remember, if you need me...”
“I'll let you know,” I promised.
“Good, good,” Janice said.
I took another sip of tea as she slipped out, smiling to myself. Maybe this was the end of my streak of bad luck. I could only hope so.
Chapter Twelve