"Yes, I do," he said, feeling less than pleased that she doubted him.
She took a deep calming breath and when he opened his mouth to say something she held up a hand to stop him and took another one. "Look, while I appreciate the fact that you're trying to do the right thing here for the baby, I think if you thought it over you'd realize that there's really no need to force yourself to do something that you don't want to do. I'm sure that we can sit down and talk about this rationally and come up with something that will work for both of us where the baby is concerned. I-"
He decided to cut her off right there because this had nothing to do with the baby and he was having a really hard time following this conversation with her towel drooping in the front and flashing an indecent amount of cle**age that had him shifting in his seat. He wondered if it would always be like this, where he couldn't keep his mind out of the gutter around her and knew it would. When they were in their nineties he'd probably be chasing her down in his wheelchair, desperate for a kiss.
"This has nothing to do with the baby, Zoe," he said softly, interrupting her and earning a groan of frustration.
"Of course it does, Trevor. Up until a couple of days ago you didn't want anything more than a sexual relationship with me," she said softly, but he didn't miss the slight tremble in her voice and it killed him that he'd hurt her.
"We both agreed to that arrangement, Zoe," he reminded her gently. "I'm not the only one who was willing to settle, sweetheart, but I promise you I stopped looking at you like you were just a convenience a long time ago."
"And now you want to get married," she said flatly.
"Yes," he said without hesitation. "More importantly I want you."
She worried her bottom lip even as her eyes watered and he knew she was softening. He just had to show her how much she meant to him and everything would be okay.
"I can't do it, Trevor," she said, shaking her head. "I can't go from being nothing to you to suddenly being your wife. How do I know that anything will change? I can't be married to a man who's never even held my hand in public or acknowledged me in any other way than just his tenant."
As much as he hated to admit it, she had a point. For the past couple of months he'd been pretending that the best thing in his life didn't exist and that hadn't been fair to either one of them. Now that he gave it some thought he realized his current plan was kind of ridiculous. It would never work if she didn't trust that he meant what he was telling her. Ignoring her the way he had in public, and god was he a f**king moron, and then getting married was never going to work. He needed to show her how much he loved her and he needed her to know that he saw her as more than just his little tenant.
She was absolutely everything to him.
"That's a good point," he said, standing up.
"I'm glad you understand, Trevor. I think it's best if we-"
"How's your head?" he asked, interrupting her.
"Doesn't hurt that much," she admitted.
"Are you hungry?" he asked, knowing that she must be starving.
"Yes, but I think-"
"We should go out on a date tonight? I totally agree," he said, cutting her off because he had a feeling that she was about to suggest something he wouldn't like.
"A date?" she repeated, sounding a bit confused.
"Yeah, a date," he said, grabbing her hands and pulling her to her feet while she still looked confused as hell. He gave her a little nudge to get her moving in the direction of the stairs. "You know where I pick you up, you keep me waiting for a half hour, we go out, and I charm you while you hang on my every word. We eat, we talk and then at the end of the night you invite me in for a cup of coffee and I pretend to think it over since I'm such a gentleman," he said, choosing to ignore her little snort of disbelief as he guided her towards the stairs.
"But-"
"No, buts," he said, giving her another nudge to get her up the stairs. "Get your little butt up there and put something on that will drive me out of my mind."
"But-"
"Go," he said, giving her another nudge that thankfully got her moving. "The sooner you get dressed the sooner you can start fawning over me like a proper date and remember just because I agreed to go out on this date with you doesn't mean that I'm easy. I expect you to do a little work to get me out of my pants."
He couldn't have his future wife thinking he was easy after all.
Chapter 30
"What do you think, the blue one or the green one?" she asked, holding up of the pretty tops that she'd bought a few months back, but hadn't had the chance or reason to wear.
Until now.
She couldn't believe she was going on a date with Trevor. Although she was nervous about what people would say after their one and only date, especially when she started to show, right now she really couldn't care less. She knew people were going to talk after the babies were born and a lot of them were going to make issue out of the fact that Trevor was the father and because of that they'd probably always think the babies were either conceived out of pity or a night of drunken stupidity.
If worse came to worse she would move out of town where she could keep her children away from the majority of the gossip. There would always be talk, but as long as her children knew they were loved she could deal with all the nonsense. There was plenty of time later to deal with the drama. Right now she was going to enjoy her night with Trevor.
"Well?" she asked, holding the blouses up higher, but the two dogs lounging on Trevor's bed weren't exactly helpful as they took turns licking Mr. Cuddles' face. "I guess I'll go with the green one," she decided. They matched Trevor's eyes, but she didn't say that out loud mostly because she didn't know where Trevor was exactly and didn't want to take the chance of coming off as even more pathetic.
It was bad enough that he knew she was in love with him. He didn't need to know that she was also kind of pathetic. Even though she had no plans of accepting his ludicrous proposal, she fully planned on enjoying this night with him.
Tonight he was hers and not just when they were alone. Tonight she was going to know how it felt to have every woman wish that they were her because she was with Trevor. For once people weren't going to assume that she was his frumpy little sister, because tonight she didn't have to hide her feelings for him.
Even though she had absolutely no doubt that he cared for her she really didn't think he loved her. How could he? She wasn't beautiful or special in any way, besides if he loved her he would have shown her long before he found out that she was pregnant. It was kind of nice that he was willing to lie to her to make her feel better and for tonight, just tonight, she was going to pretend that he really did love her and enjoy her one special night with him. When the kids asked about their relationship she could honestly tell them after tonight that they'd dated and it just hadn't worked out.