“Thank you for showing me your Hawaii,” Christian said. “With the waterfalls and the luaus and the scooter tours and everything else that we've done, I feel special.”
“You are special,” I couldn't keep myself from admitting. Then, I clapped my hand over my mouth, feeling embarrassed. I started to roll away from him, but Christian caught me around the shoulders and drew me back into his side.
“You are too,” he murmured, reaching forward to press a soft kiss against my skin.
I blushed, and he smiled, swirling his fingers once more across my skin. “So, what's your plan for tomorrow?” I asked. “You must have some family who you need to contact or something, right?”
Christian sighed and shook his head. “Nah,” he said, nonchalantly, as though there were no feelings about it either way. “Christmas hasn't been a big thing to me in a while. Usually, I just work my way through a bottle of good wine and maybe a couple of movies, things that I don't have time to do at other times of the year. And normally, if I get lonely-” He cut himself off, and I raised an eyebrow at him, guessing what he'd been about to say.
“Normally, you'd call up some whore.” I sighed.
Christian looked embarrassed, but he nodded. “Yeah,” he admitted.
“Might have guessed that,” I said. I nudged him a little, trying to get him to relax. “If you need some company, I should be free once I've talked to my parents for an hour or so.”
Christian let out a slow breath. “That would be nice,” he said. There was feeling in his voice that belied the casual words, and I suddenly got to wondering at how lonely his life in New York must be. No wonder he was constantly trying to fill that void with a string of commitment-less attachments.
“I make the best Christmas dinner,” I informed him, winking at him.
“Oh, really?” Christian asked, a sly note back in his voice, and I was glad to get him out of whatever introspective funk he'd fallen into and back into something that sounded more like himself.
“Yeah,” I told him. “Hawaiian pizza. Can't beat it.” Christian looked for a moment like he wasn't sure if he should believe me or not. Then, he burst out laughing. “And then, I curl up on the couch and watch all the Christmas specials that I can find,” I continued. “Best way to go.”
“Maybe I'll have to join you,” Christian said, grinning fondly down at me.
“Maybe you will,” I said.
He dropped off to sleep not long after that, and after a long moment of listening to him brea
thing, I hesitantly moved over so my head was resting on his chest. I lay there stiffly, not even daring to breathe for a moment until I heard his breaths even out even further. Then, I finally allowed myself to relax and breathe normally.
I wasn't sure what I was going to do once he went back to New York. Despite Mina's words, I knew he would end up going back to New York, and sooner rather than later. I traced my fingers over his chest, sighing softly. The last thing I wanted to do was let him go, but I knew I didn't have any say in the matter.
It wasn't as though I could tell him to stay there, just for me. And it wasn't as though he was going to invite me back to Hawaii to stay with him. He had his world there, one that I could never hope to fit into. I would never stack up against those blonde, busty women who he was accustomed to taking home.
I shouldn't have been thinking along those lines. I should just be enjoying what I had. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, and then I finally allowed myself to drift off to sleep next to him.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Christian
I woke up feeling pleasantly warm and relaxed, with a heavy weight on my chest. When I opened my eyes, I saw that it was Gretchen, who had apparently fallen asleep with her head pillowed on my chest, her arm curled possessively around my torso.
It was the first time I had ever woken up in bed with a woman. Let alone in another woman's bed.
I frowned down at her and considered moving, but I honestly liked being here, like this. She was the first woman who I hadn't felt the need to kick out of bed, and even now, early in the morning, when I knew I should probably be slipping away before she opened her eyes, I couldn't bring myself to move.
The thing is, I knew better. I knew that if she woke up with me, she was probably going to start getting attached, but I was already a bit attached to her. The more I thought about it, the more going back to New York was going to hurt. Of course, it was something that I had to do; there was no getting around that.
Before I could even complete that train of thought, Gretchen was stirring against me, peering blearily up at me. “Good morning,” she said, her words a bit slurred with sleepiness.
I couldn't help smiling down at her. “Good morning,” I rumbled.
“And Merry Christmas,” she said. She yawned, belatedly covering the movement with her hand. “Sorry,” she said.
I laughed a little. “That's okay,” I told her. “How are you feeling?”
“Hungry,” she said immediately. Then, she looked a bit embarrassed.