Fake Marriage Box Set

“Are you flippin’ serious right now?” she said from the doorway.

“What?” I asked pulling the ear plugs from my ears and looking over my shoulder.

“It's five thirty in the morning, Luke!”

“I only had the sander going. It’s not really that loud,” I replied.

“Yes. It is.”

“You must have very sensitive hearing then,” I tried to come across as playful. She wasn’t buying it.

She pulled in a hard breath and blew it out. “I can handle the normal seven, but five thirty? Really?” Her hands pressed into her hips.

I stood there looking at her, wanting to smile, but I knew that probably wasn't the best thing to do. “I was just trying to finish this up before I have to leave Wednesday.” I pointed toward the piece I was working on.

“Ya know, I have tried really hard to deal with the noise. I am the quietest neighbor in the history of neighbors. It would do you some good to try a little of that.”

“I’m sorry?” I shrugged.

“I mean, between the seven a.m. wood working, the nine a.m. chainsaws and axes, and the one in the morning sexcapades, I think I have been pretty patient,” she barked. Her fists were by her side at this point, and she was vibrating. I mean literally vibrating where she stood. Her face was red, and it was as though she was trying to bore holes straight through me.

“I can't make up for what Ryan didn't tell you,” I snipped at her, getting irritated that she interrupted me while I was trying to finish.

“Ryan told me that you worked with wood and had a shop. He also said that it wasn't generally at the ass crack of dawn. So, if

you don't mind, I would like to sleep a little more.”

“You will get all the sleep you need while we are gone. We are leaving out Wednesday and won't be back until Monday. I had planned on coming over later today just to give you a heads-up, but now you know. I'm sorry if you think the sander is loud, but I've got to finish this.” I turned back to the table, placing my ear plugs back in my ears and started working again.

I saw her reflection in the window as she stormed out of the shop.

***

“Yo!” Ryan yelled as he walked across the backyard.

“Give me five!” I shouted back. I was wrapping the last of the glass up and placing it in a shipping crate. The truck would be by tomorrow to pick it up.

“Your girl gave me a piece of her mind this morning,” I said as I walked over to him.

“What did you do?” He cut his eyes at me, turning slowly where he stood inspecting the wood in the cradle.

“What did I do? Seriously?”

“Umm, yeah. I swear you do anything you can to irritate her.”

“I was working, and she came stomping into the shop yelling at me that I was too loud.”

“What time was this?”

“I don't know? Five thirty or so?”

“I would have yelled at you too. Geez man, rude!”

“It's my house! Besides, it was just a sander. Not like I was using the chainsaw or anything.”

“It's our house, and now it’s hers, too. I know you have projects to finish and you work best in the early morning or late at night, but have you ever thought that maybe she would appreciate you not working at five in the fucking morning?”

I shook my head. I knew he was probably right. Maybe I should pay more attention to what is going on around me. I never had to before. Ryan could sleep through a hurricane, so no one ever complained. I just wasn't used to it.