My mom would definitely not approve of me getting into a relationship with a professor. I knew that she wouldn’t care about the age gap, but the fact that he was a professor and I was a student, that would piss her off. She would lay into Ian as well as myself.
“I think we’ve done enough walking,” Mom said. “Let’s just head back to the house.”
I nodded in agreement. I wanted some time alone to think about what I should do about Ian. I had to figure it out before things went too far and one of us did something we truly regretted. His job was on the line, as was my degree. We both had too much to lose.
We pulled into the driveway, and I stared up at the familiar doorway and the same potted flowers that my mom always kept up. It all looked as it should, but I knew when I walked through that door, nothing was as it should be. Talia should be in there. But she wasn’t and never would be again.
“Don’t,” my mom started. “I know it’s hard.”
I nodded, blinking back the tears that had formed. I walked inside and went straight to my room. Flopping down
on my bed once I was alone, I let the tears fall. I needed this release. As the tears streamed down my face, my mind drifted back to Ian. How many times had he laid in his bed like this, crying over his dead wife and child?
He was a gentleman. Although we had only gotten the chance to talk a couple of times, I had learned a lot about him in the things he said. His passion for the ocean drew me in, but he was more than that. He was kind and considerate. I loved watching him check the desks after each class. He had taken on this caretaker position when no one expected or asked for it.
I had to make sure he understood that we could never be an item. We could never kiss again. Hopefully, once we both said our piece, we could do away with that horrible awkwardness we had on Friday. That was awful, and there was no way I could go the entire school year with him being all weird. It was better for both of us. I know he will understand and be on board.
“Tessa, I’ll be in the garden,” my mom called out, interrupting my musings. I smiled. Whenever mom was stressed, she headed for her garden. She had more produce than she knew what to do with, but she insisted on growing more and more every year.
“I’ll help,” I called out, deciding I could use a little manual labor to get my mind off things and people, namely Ian.
At least my obsession with Ian and the kiss kept my mind off the other more obvious worries. Being back in Georgia would have been much harder had I not had something else to worry about. I guess there was a little good in everything, no matter how horrible the situation was.
Chapter Seventeen
Ian
I sipped my beer, like a good guest at what was a very lively barbecue, but it wasn’t quite hitting the spot. I couldn’t seem to get into the party. I know I’m being a stick in the mud, but I can’t seem to snap out of it. This is why people don’t invite me to parties or backyard barbecues. I’m a bore. I can bring down the liveliest get together without even trying.
“Ian, come, sit down, man. Tell us how the new job is going,” one of my old friends calls out.
I sighed, accepting the invitation, but not really feeling it. I sat down in one of the patio chairs, feeling a little out of place. These guys got together quite often. I was the newcomer, even if I had known them for most of my life.
“How’s it going, Ian, with the new job?” my friend William asked.
He had been one of my closest friends. After the accident, we drifted apart. I took full responsibility for that separation; I had just been in no mood to go out with the guys. I preferred to wallow in self-pity and misery.
“It’s going pretty good,” I lied. “I like the smaller class sizes and fewer classes in general.”
“Good. I’ve heard it’s a great school,” he said.
Another guy came to sit down. “You’re a teacher?” he asked. This was not a face I was familiar with.
I nodded. “A professor, at the local university.”
“Cool. I didn’t know professors were as young as you. Are there are lot of gorgeous young ladies hot for the teacher?” the unidentified gentleman asked.
I took a sip of beer. The question was stupid and one you would expect to hear at a bar with a bunch of young guys. I had no intention of actually answering it, and chose to smile and drink my beer.
“Uh-oh, I think he’s telling us there are some young ladies he wants to bang!” the guy said. I wiped my mouth, prepared to tell him to fuck off when my friend intervened.
William abruptly stood. “Ian, come on; I want you to meet my boss.”
I looked at him, knowing he was removing me from the situation and was grateful for it. I went willingly, leaving the moron behind. This is why I didn’t do these public gatherings. I didn’t have the polite patience you were supposed to have when you encountered dipshits like that guy. Not anymore. William and a few others had tried to drag me out for a long time after Miriam died, but I had always refused. This was why. Eventually, they quit asking and left me to my own self-made hell.
“Sorry about that,” William muttered. “That guy is a pain in the ass. He’s Donny’s friend and somehow always manages to tag along. Tara is going to be pissed when she sees he’s here again. The fool had the audacity to criticize her steak marinade at the last barbecue we hosted. It was not pretty.”
I laughed as I imagined his petite wife, Tara, going after the guy with a cleaver. Jake had warned me. I couldn’t imagine criticizing someone who spent so much time preparing a meal for me in the first place.