I don’t think I have ever struggled so much to figure out what to wear. I feel like a girl. My closet seemed as if there was nothing to wear, even though it was stuffed. It was all outdated. I hadn’t been shopping for new clothes in years. I think Miriam bought me most of what was hanging in there. Note to self—go shopping this week.
After changing into no less than four outfits, I finally settled on a pair of dark-colored jeans and a black polo shirt. It wasn’t my typical stuffy professor attire, but it wasn’t too laid back to raise the eyebrows of the other faculty. I slid into a pair of comfortable black shoes, put on my watch, and declared myself ready for a date. I think of it as a date, even if it is technically not. At least as far as any of my colleagues are concerned.
I wished I could have picked her up and driven her to the art show, but that would definitely raise some red flags. We agreed to meet there. It would be easy to find her in the crowd. I had an attraction to her that worked like a homing beacon.
As expected, I found her within seconds of entering the building. It was as if a ray of light was beaming from the ceiling, highlighting her golden hair and pointing her out to me. I took a few minutes to drink in the sight of her before slowly moving through the crowd to greet her.
Her tanned skin stood out against the light-yellow dress, giving her a healthy glow. Looking at the sun’s kiss reminded me of the pictures she’d sent me the day before, sending a dangerous thrill up my spine. The dress revealed perfectly shaped shoulders. It tied behind her neck, covering up most of her chest area. I imagined untying that string with my teeth. I knew she didn’t have a bra on underneath, which was nearly my undoing.
I followed the swath of fabric that was gathered by a dazzling skinny belt, just before the dress flared out and landed just above her knee. It was youthful, flirty, and spectacular—just like her. I loved that she preferred a more natural look and wore minimal makeup. When I went to bed with a woman, I took comfort in knowing I was going to wake up to the same face. Miriam was the kind of woman who looked very different in the morning when the makeup was washed away. It wasn’t always a good thing.
Before I even realized what I was doing, I was standing in front of her, staring.
“Hi, Professor Dunlap,” she said, a smile lighting up her face. I noticed her extra emphasis on the words.
I look around and realize she had been talking with some other teachers at the school. She had put me into such a trance that I’d completely ignored everyone else in the room, intent on getting close to her.
“Good evening; mind if I steal away my assistant for a moment?” I said, doing my best to sound like a professional.
I fought the urge to grab her hand and pull her out of the room. I wanted to push her up against the wall and run my hands up that skirt.
“You okay?” she whispered, still smiling to put on a good show.
“Fine,” I grumbled. “You look nice,” I said when I managed to cool my raging hormones.
“Thank you. So do you.”
“Professor Dunlap,” the dean said, headed our way. We both instinctively moved a few more inches apart.
I waited until she reached us. “Dean,” I said, tilting my head forward.
“I’d like you to meet a few of our generous donors. Maybe you can convince them to cough up some more money for our marine sciences program,” she said, taking me by the elbow and steering me away from Tessa.
As I looked back, she was waving goodbye, fighting back a laugh. The rest of the evening was much the same. I was whisked around, introduced to new people and expected to make small talk. Tessa and I were kept apart most of the night, but I still managed to find her when I wanted to. People gravitated towards her. She was constantly surrounded by men and women alike. I longed to be there beside her, holding her hand, sneaking kisses and enjoying ourselves like a normal couple.
It’s a dream I will never get to experience. My job is too important, as is her degree. I will settle for my fantasies. Tonight, when I go to bed, I know that her dress and the removal of it will haunt my dreams.
I decided that I’d had enough socializing for one night and made my way back to Tessa. “I’m headed out. I’ll see you tomorrow in class.”
“Goodbye, Professor Dunlap,” she said, smiling and nodding before giving me a small wink.
I made my exit and found my way to my car, enjoying the cool night air. Once inside the safe haven of my car, I pulled out my phone and send her a text.
When she quickly responded, I smiled. We’d be meeting at a small park that would hopefully be empty at this hour. It’s more of a mom and kid hangout, which meant it should be vacant. It better be. My heart picked up the pace in anticipation of seeing her in relative privacy. I pray I can control my urges.
I waited in my car. When I saw headlights, my palms got sweaty. It was her. She got out, and her yellow dress was a bright light in the darkness.
“Hi,” I said, walking towards her, wanting to grab her, but keeping my distance.
“You did great tonight,” she said in greeting.
“Thank you for going with me—in a way. I was glad to have a friendly face, even if I didn’t get to spend much time with you,?
? I told her, meaning every word.
“Thank you for inviting me. Me being a lowly student and all, I wouldn’t typically be allowed to attend such events. It was kind of cool to see what happens behind the scenes so the doors stay open at the school. Even though I feel like I pay more than enough to attend, I guess they always need more,” she joked.
We started walking through the park, not touching, but walking close to each other.