The next morning, we had a last family breakfast before Ethan and I had to leave. Then, we mounted the bikes and took the long ride back home to his mansion in Beverly Hills.
It wasn't like the ride out, filled with excitement and happy chatter. It was a long, silent journey filled with a lot of introspection. I wanted to give Ethan the space he needed to process all that he had seen and heard that weekend so he could come to his own conclusion about if he wanted to be in a committed relationship with me.
I didn't need to think about it on my end; I already knew I loved him and I was already committed to him, heart and soul. Seeing him with my family that weekend, the way he interacted with Tommy, and how my parents loved him and he fit in with my siblings like a glove, just reaffirmed what I had already known. Ethan and I were meant to be together. Now I just needed him to realize it.
We pulled into his driveway and parked the bikes in his massive garage between his Ferrari and his black limousine. I took off my helmet and handed it to him, unsure where else to put it.
"You've been awfully quiet all day. Is something on your mind?" he asked me as he placed the helmets, along with our gloves, onto a nearby shelf.
"So have you," I pointed out. "I figured you must be thinking about what we talked about before and I wanted to give you space to figure it out. So, what did you decide?"
He just stared at me with a blank look, like he didn't know what I was talking about, and my heart dropped. Feeling exasperated, I said, "You know, about being in a committed relationship. You said you needed to meet my family first. Well, now you have, so what did you decide?"
"Oh, that. Wouldn't you like to know?" He grinned at me playfully, but I wasn't in a teasing mood. He winked at me and said "Let's go upstairs and I'll tell you in the morning."
I was about to object, but he placed his lips on mine, kissing me passionately, and my words were forgotten. He carried me up the stairs to his bedroom, knocking over a lamp in his wake, but he was so impassioned he didn't care.
He threw me on the bed and leapt onto the mattress beside me, kissing and caressing me all the while in just the ways he knew I liked best.
"Take off your clothes," he instructed in a husky voice, and his need for me was clearly straining inside his jeans.
"Wait," I held him back at arm's length. "I need to know the answer."
"Okay, I'll take them off." He reached for my blouse, but I held fast, pressing my hand firmly against his chest and making it clear that I meant business.
"No, Ethan. Stop. I can't do this. I can't keep making love to you if I don't know what's going on between us. I'm not some sex object you can use and toss aside when the next issue of Speed Magazine comes along and newest model catches your eye. Are you willing to commit to me or not?"
He lay back on the mattress and groaned, pressing his hands against his eyes like I was giving him a headache.
"Don't ask me to decide this right now. We just got back from a long trip. I need time to think."
"That's fine. Take all the time you need." I gave him a kiss goodbye and walked out the door.
"Kayla, wait! Where are you going?" He chased after me with a look of shock and terror on his handsome face.
"Home," I stated simply. "Let me know when you decide what you want."
Chapter Thirty-Two
Ethan
I hadn't seen Kayla in three days, and it was killing me. I missed her far more than I would have expected. She was just another pretty model I was fucking — wasn't she?
Only she wasn't. She had become far more than that. She was my best friend, someone I could talk to you about anything, and the one person I looked forward to seeing every morning when I woke up and every night when I fell asleep. She was the one person I wanted to spend all my time with.
The long weekend at her parents' house had been fun, and a lot more enjoyable than I'd expected. Just being surrounded by them, you could feel the love and caring that they had for each other. Tommy was absolutely great. At first, I felt awkward around him, but I worked hard not to let it show, and the more I got to know him, the more I came to really like the kid.
He reminded me of myself when I had been young. I didn't have to battle anything like his disability, but my life had had its own challenges, and through it all, I maintained a love for learning, especially science. The fact that this kid was a natural-born mechanical engineer endeared him to me a special way, and I wished to hell he hadn't been stricken by that damn disease, or I'd have offered him an internship at my company.
The rest of her family was just as great and made me long for something I never even knew I'd been missing and wanting.
Her mother cooking in the kitchen while Kayla and her sisters helped gave me joy as they talked and laughed and filled the house with delicious smells. Bonding with her brother and her sister's husband Mark made me feel like one of the guys, only they both had something I didn't: a family of their own. It made me a little jealous that I couldn't call Kayla my wife. I saw her interacting with her young niece and nephew and it stirred different feelings in me, too — ones I never would have known existed since I never spend any time with children. What surprised me most, however, wasn't that Kayla was a natural aunt, but what the kids stirred up inside myself.
The toddler, Joe III, had been sitting in his highchair, getting food everywhere, while the baby, Madison, contentedly drank a bottle while being held in her father's arms. Mark was a good guy and everybody liked him. So was Junior's wife, Shelby. The spouses were as much a part of the family as the five Brandt children were, and I was surprised by how quickly I felt the level of inclusion. The Brandt's were a loving and welcoming people, and it was easy to see where Kayla got her natural kindness and sense of ease.
When Mark's cell phone went off in his back pocket and he handed six-month-old Madison to me so he could answer it, I was startled. Shit. I didn't know what the hell to do with a baby, but the napping child didn't even stir. She just snuggled against my chest and continued to make little sucking noises with her bow-shaped lips. It melted my heart instantly and made me wonder if maybe someday I could be a father.
The realization startled me. Later that weekend, when everyone started making comments about what a great couple Kayla and I made at the party, and cracking jokes about having our wedding in the Brandt backyard, it scared the shit out me. I wasn't ready for this and I had to find a way out of it.