"Did I do something to offend you?" he asked quietly.
"No, what?" I said, spinning around to find him standing right behind me.
"Did I do something to offend you, Leah?" he repeated as he looked down at me. I squirmed as I looked up at him, trapped in his gaze.
I knew I shouldn't. I knew we shouldn't, but in an instant I made a choice and stepped close enough to rest my hands on his chest and raise myself up enough to kiss his lips. Eyes open, I saw his eyes widen with surprise, but he didn't back away. Instead, he kissed me softly without touching me. Our lips became the conduit for all the things w
e'd been holding back since the wake, but it was soft and sweet rather than the carnal passion I'd imagined every night alone in my bed.
He stood stock-still and let his lips lead the way. Gently kissing, and then flicking his tongue across my bottom lip before taking it between his teeth and gently pulling. I moaned softly into his mouth, and still he didn't move a muscle. I could feel his heart pounding wildly beneath the palms of my hands, but I followed his lead and didn't move. He urged my lips apart with his tongue and then teased the inside of my mouth when I acquiesced. He licked, sucked, and nibbled my lips as I reciprocated, eyes wide open as neither of us moved anything but our mouths.
I'd never felt such an erotic intoxication in my life, and I didn't want it to end. The sound of a slamming door caused us to jump apart. Startled by the noise and uncertain about what we'd just done, I looked down at the construction plans.
"These look great!" I said in a voice that was a little too loud. "I can't wait to see how this turns out."
"Um, okay," Jack said, tilting his head as he gave me a confused look. "Do you want to . . . ?”
"I really need to get these orders entered in the computer, and I've got a ton of calls to make," I said rushing to fill the space where the question I didn't know how to answer lay. "I'll check in with you later, and we'll talk about the way we're going to accommodate our orders while the construction's going on, okay? Okay!"
"Okay, Leah," he said with a confused grin spreading across his face. He nodded and then grabbed the plans off of my desk and rolled them up as he headed out the door.
"You just let me know when you want to talk," he said before he turned and walked down the hallway. I could have sworn I heard him chuckling all the way back to his office.
*
Hours later, on the train home, I could still feel the heat of the kiss. I'd wanted more than just the kiss and, in the private little part of my brain, I'd gone to the place where that kiss had led to something far steamier and satisfying. As the train pulled into the station, I pushed aside the movie I'd created and looked around with reddened cheeks to see if anyone had noticed. I was safe.
At first, after Jack had left my office, I'd wondered if I was going to get fired. But then as I thought more about it, I couldn't figure out why he hadn't said more afterward. He'd held back and then just left the office rather than taking charge and sweeping me off my feet.
"Okay, get a grip, Walsh," I muttered to myself as I walked the few blocks between the train station and the house. "We're in the 21st century, after all. Guys don't always take control. Sometimes women have to."
I continued the self-therapy session until I opened the front door and found Mama standing over Riley shouting at her.
"You stupid, good for nothing, useless idiot!" Mama yelled. "What in the hell is wrong with you? Answer me!"
Riley sat on the tile floor in the entryway with her back against the wall. She was staring straight ahead her arms wrapped around her knees, which were pulled up against her chest. Her mute response told me that she'd disappeared somewhere in her mind.
"Mama! What are you doing?" I shouted as I pushed the door closed behind me. The house looked like a tornado had gone through it while I'd been a work. There were dishes piled up on the coffee table, several vodka bottles under it, and all of Mama's bedding on the couch. It looked like she'd permanently relocated to the living room.
"This stupid child dumped the last of my bottle into the sink while I was sleeping!" she yelled. "That was money she poured down the drain, and now I have to go get more!"
"First of all, dial it down a notch, Mama," I said sternly. "She's not stupid. Second, if she did do it, then she's just looking out for you."
"By destroying my property?" Mama shouted, completely disregarding my desire to try and have a reasonable conversation. "She's an ungrateful, little bitch and I'm sick of this shit!"
"Mama," I warned. "In this house we talk to each other with respect, not insults."
"Oh do shut the fuck up, Leah," my mother said waving her hand in front of my face. It was the last straw. I grabbed my mother by the collar of her dirty polo shirt and pushed her all the way back to the couch where I shoved her hard enough to send her sprawling back into the messy lump of bedclothes that lined the couch.
"What the fuck?" my mother yelled in outrage.
"No! You sit down and listen to me, lady!" I growled. "I've had enough of your shit, and now we're going to have the talk we should have had long ago. You are a drunk, Mama. You are an alcoholic, and you are drinking yourself into an early grave. It has to stop!"
"Who are you getting into everyone's business, little Miss Nosy Pants?" my mother retorted. "It's not like you're so perfect."
"I never said I was, but you've been abusive for long enough," I said. "You never cut me any slack or see any of the work I put into keeping this family together!"
"Oh, boo-hoo," she mocked. "You're upset because you had to step up and take charge. Well, welcome to the real world, girl. We all have to be the bosses of our own big selves."