Allie
I put the daisy that Declan had picked for me in a thin vase I had found in the back of the cupboard over the refrigerator, and I put the vase in the middle of the kitchen table.
And I did think of him when I looked at it, and how much worse having a kid involved made a breakup. I wasn’t in love with Declan, obviously, but I did love him, and though I supposed it would be possible for he and I to continue to have some sort of relationship, it didn’t really make sense. What were the rules for this sort of thing, anyway? There didn’t seem to be any rules, or at least any that I was aware of. Cole and I hadn’t been together for that long; it’s not like I’d been raising Declan since he was a baby, and he thought of me like a mother or something. It hadn’t even been a full two months, which felt hard to believe.
I just had to remember what my mother had told me: It wasn’t going to feel like this forever.
After work on Wednesday, Amy caught up with me as I was walking to my car.
“Hey,” she said. “You have plans now? I think we need to hang out.” I was about to say that I even though I didn’t have any plans, I didn’t really feel up for going anywhere, but she spoke first, as if she could read my mind. “We don’t have to go out anywhere, if you don’t want to; we can just go to my place and get some takeout or something.”
And what could I say to that? Really, my only plan had been to go home, hope that I wouldn’t run into Cole, while simultaneously also hoping that I did run into Cole, all the while trying to make myself feel okay about the fact that we weren’t together.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll follow you to your house.”
Amy wasted no time in breaking out the Pinot Grigio, and I accepted a glass, though I told myself I wasn’t going to have more than two at the most.
“You need a rebound,” Amy said.
I shook my head. “I think I’m all done with dating.”
“No, it doesn’t have to be a date. A rebound is just... a person to make you feel better, someone to get you out of the breakup funk.”
“Is this person aware of it? Because that sounds kind of awful.”
She smiled. “Well... I might actually have someone in mind.”
“I don’t think so.”
“It might really help...he’s cool. He’s friends with my cousin, his name’s Jay, and he’s not looking for anything serious, but he’s a lot of fun. You don’t even have to sleep with him if you don’t want to. But you can’t let one breakup completely destroy your life, okay? You just can’t do that. You’re not allowed. Here, I’m texting him right now.”
I started to protest, but then stopped. Maybe she was right—maybe this was what I needed to stop feeling like this. And really, at this point, I was willing to try almost anything.
So when he texted Amy back a few minutes later and said that he wasn’t busy that Friday, she set the whole thing up. I was going to meet him at a little café in Gardner, which was good, because it was a big enough town that I probably wouldn’t run into Cole.
“There,” she said. “You’re all set. Now, don’t feel like there’s any pressure or anything, okay? This is just for fun, and Jay is cool. It’ll be great.”
I tried to smile, though something was telling me that going on a date like this when I didn’t feel like it wasn’t such a good idea.
My mother called a few days later.
“You sound like you’re feeling better,” she said. “How are you doing?”
“I’m okay. I’m actually going on a date tonight,” I said.
“You are? That’s great!” my mom exclaimed. “I’m so happy to hear that. I think that’s a really good sign.”
“You don’t think that it’s too soon? Because I don’t really want to go on the date; I just agreed to it because Amy seemed to think that it was what I needed.”
“I think it’ll do you some good,” my mother said. “Like I was saying when you were staying over here—you just need to realize that there are indeed many other fish in the sea, and that you are quite the catch. I know that Cole had a lot of good qualities about him, but he’s not the only person out there. Even if this guy isn’t the man of your dreams, it will do you some good to have some fun with someone who isn’t Cole.”
“I’ll try,” I said, but I felt more trepidation than excitement.
That feeling didn’t really change when Friday night rolled around. I had managed to avoid seeing Cole during pick-up this afternoon by busying myself in the back office, pretending that I was going through student files. I heard his voice, but I didn’t lift my head up from the desk. I was afraid that if I saw him, I would lose all nerve right then and there and demand that Amy cancel the date for toni
ght. I didn’t even want to think of it like a date; I was just getting together with some guy for dinner. Hopefully, we’d have some decent conversation, but I wouldn’t have been surprised if it turned out to be completely awkward either.
I wasn’t sure how I would recognize... wait, what his name? I couldn’t remember. I texted Amy as I was getting out of the car, hoping that she had her phone on her and she’d be able to respond immediately, but she didn’t. So I racked my brain, trying to remember. It was something short, wasn’t it?