After taking a deep breath, she released it slowly, noticing how it shook despite her best efforts.
He climbed off the bed and she watched as he pulled on some clothes. She had to face the music one way or another. Glancing over at the clock on his nightstand, she saw it was actually really early, so she hoped there was no way she’d bump into anyone.
Once they were both ready, hands clenched at her sides, Dog took the lead, holding her hand and moving down the corridor, heading toward the stairs.
Would she be able to really come back to the club knowing how they felt about her? The things they’d said? Even though everything was because of them believing she betrayed the club, it didn’t stop the pain. That was very much there. She wanted to be loved by someone unconditionally, even above the club. That would never come from her family, but maybe from Dog.
They got to the main room and Sable paused. It shouldn’t be happening, but Forge stood with Beth in the center of the room, all of the club present, including the club pussy. She grabbed Dog’s hand in a death grip.
“What’s happening?” she asked.
“They’re all being brought up to speed on what happened. They know you’re here, Sable.”
“I can’t go out there.”
“You can. I’m with you. No one is going to judge you.”
She tensed up. Sable had never seen over half the club awake at this hour. It was surreal. The hunger of seconds ago turned to this horrible sick feeling. She didn’t know how she was going to stand it.
Dog opened the door and together, they stepped out into the main room. All eyes turned toward her, and she couldn’t look. Couldn’t bring herself to see whatever it was they were thinking reflected in their eyes.
I’m fine. Nothing bad is going to happen.
“We’re safe because of what Sable was prepared to do. Not once did she turn her back on this club. It was all an act. The only information she fed to Grass and Little was what I told her to. Everything she did was on my say so.” Forge stepped toward her and she lifted her chin up. “Thank you, for everything you’ve done for this club.” He shook her hand and he frowned as he did so. The prez always looked so serious.
She was so nervous her entire body was shaking. “I thought everyone would be in bed.”
“They all had to know, Sable. I wasn’t going to risk you getting hurt again.”
She nodded.
He stepped back but she didn’t look at anyone. On the ground, she saw two sets of feet. They were wearing slippers with pom-poms on top. They were the same color and it didn’t take a genius to work out who they belonged to.
“Oh, honey,” her mother said.
“I can’t … I’m really sorry.” This came from her sister.
She looked up as they were about to hug her, but she pulled away. The nasty things they’d said. What they’d done. Right now, she couldn’t allow herself to let go with them. It wasn’t so easy to forgive and forget.
“I’m really hungry,” she said.
Pulling away from Dog, she glanced around the room and nodded her head. “I’m glad we’re all safe and that Grass can’t hurt anyone anymore.” She had nothing more to say. Being the center of attention wasn’t in her nature.
Escaping to the confines of the kitchen was her only option. Dog followed behind her. She went straight to the fridge. He wrapped his arms around her waist.
“Talk to me,” he said.
“I’ve got nothing to say at the moment. Do you want something sweet or savory for breakfast?”
“Sable, I can feel how shaken you are. Talk to me.”
“I’ll be fine. It’s nothing really.” She pulled out some ingredients to cook them both a big breakfast. She hoped by the time it was actually served up on a plate, she’d have her appetite back. Dog let her go to put the items on the counter. Without his touch, she didn’t feel grounded. She felt close to drowning with no way out. This was a nightmare. The club was her family but right now, she felt like an imposter. An outsider.
Tears filled her eyes, but she quickly blinked them away. There was no way she’d cry. Not now. Not ever again.
“Look, there was a time I’d have walked away and said, if you’re fine, that means you’re fine. I’ve got nothing to worry about. I know you. I know there is nothing fine about you. Talk to me. Tell me what the problem is.”
She sighed, licking her lips as her mouth went dry. “I … I don’t really know. With everything going on, I don’t feel like I belong here anymore. The things they said—”