Servant of the Bones

"He turned to the side, planted his feet on the floor, and rose, pulling the bedsheet about him like a long toga.

" 'But we'll use this strength, we won't try to stifle it for my ends or for the ends of others.' He pondered.

" 'Go back into the bones,' he said, 'and when I call you, become flesh and come to me in the agora at noon. I'll be in the tavern. I want you to come to me, fully dressed, solid, having walked the distance here to there, and having found me by the sheer repetition of my name.'

"I did as he said. I sank back into the soft, downy darkness, but his time I took considerable confusion with me, such as why had I aked in the other room, except that it was the room I knew to be his location as of yesterday, and then I slept. I knew the sleep by measures as one does when one is half-awake, but I suffered nothing but rest.

"When I knew that it was noon-by a series of tiny signals having to do with light and temperature-I found myself standing in the living room again, well formed and dressed. I checked all the particulars. I checked my hands and feet and clothes, and saw that my hair and beard were groomed, and I did this by merely running my hands over my body and wishing for all this to be so.

"A large burnished mirror stood in the room. When I saw myself in it, I was surprised, as I had some superstitious belief that spirits could not be reflected in mirrors. Then a thought occurred to me. I should go to the Master, yes, as told, immediately, but why not call to the others first? See if they were there?

" 'Show yourself, you little craven monsters!' I said aloud, and at once I did see the room full of the small spirits all watching me in august fear. This time they were still, and it seemed I saw layers of them, as though their substance easily penetrated the substance of another, and I realized there were tall well-formed human shapes among them, eyeing me with caution, as well as the little imps who seemed no more than faces and limbs. I continued to look and say, 'Show yourselves.' And soon saw other spirits in the room, spirits that seemed weary and forlorn, like the newly dead perhaps, and one of these spirits lifted his hand to me very slowly and said, 'Which way?'

" 'I don't know, brother,' I said. Looking beyond into the garden, 1 saw the air full of spirits. I saw them clearly as if they were fixed and could not move. I sensed this was only one way of seeing them. I remembered their attacks in the palace when I'd first been made a spirit, and no sooner did this thought cross my mind than the whole spirit spectacle changed.

The still and thoughtful dead were invaded from every direction by the angry, whirling, howling spirits I remembered from my firstborn minutes. I cried out: 'Get back! Get away from me!' I was amazed at the roar which came from me. Most of the enemy fled. But one clung to me, clawing at me, though it made no mark on me and I turned and hit him hard with my fist and cursed at him to return to his safest refuge or I would destroy him! In panic, he disappeared.

"The room was empty and still. I narrowed my eyes. I saw the little spirits waiting. But then I heard a voice very distinctly at my ear-'I told you to come to the agora, to the tavern. Where are you?'

"This was of course Zurvan's voice.

" 'Do I have to draw you a map?' asked the voice. 'Do you remember my command to you? Start walking towards me. You'll find me, and don't be distracted again by either the living or the dead.'

"I felt a crushing anxiety that I had not instantly obeyed him but I did remember his command, I remembered the morning, I made an effort to remember it, then I walked out of the house and into the street.

"This was my first long walk through Miletus, which was a beautiful and open Greek city, filled with marble, and open gathering places, and the fresh air of the coast and the brilliant light of the sea on the clouds. I walked on and on, viewing many things, little shops and stalls and private houses and fountains and small shrines cut in the walls, and then I came to the great open marketplace, surrounded on all sides by the bazaar, and I saw the open tavern, with its bright white awning blowing in the sea breeze, and I saw Zurvan inside, and I came in and stood before him.

" 'Sit down,' he said. 'Tell me why you opened the front door of my house, instead of merely walking through it.'

" 'I didn't know that I could walk through it. I was flesh. You said come to you in flesh. Are you angry with me? I was distracted by the spirits. I saw the spirits everywhere and I had not seen such a spectacle . . .'

" 'Hush, I didn't ask you for all of your thoughts, I merely asked why you didn't walk through the door. Now even when you are most solid, you can walk through the door. You can pass through it, because that which makes you solid is not what makes it solid. You understand? Now, disappear and reappear here. No one will notice. The tavern's half-empty. Go ahead.'

"I did this. It was exhilarating, like stretching all my limbs and laughing and then coming back into this solid form.

"He had a much more cheerful expression on his face and now he wanted to hear what I had seen. I told him. Then he asked, 'When you were a living man, you saw spirits, didn't you? Answer without thinking or trying to remember.'

" 'Yes,' I said. This was painful and I could recall no details. I didn't want to. I felt a sense of betrayal and hate.

" 'I knew it,' he said with a sigh. 'Cyrus told me this, but he was so vague and diplomatic in his language, it was impossible for me to be sure. Cyrus has some special love for you and sense of obligation to you. Look, we're going to go into the realm of the spirits. That's best, to go so that you know what it is. But listen first:

" 'Every magician you will ever know will have a different map of the spirit terrain. He will have a different notion of what spirits are and why they behave the way they do. But essentially, what you will see on any spirit journey is the same.'

" 'So you want some wine, Master?' I asked. 'Your cup is empty.' " 'Whatever made you interrupt me with that question?' he asked. " 'You're thirsty,' I said. 'I know because you are.' " 'What am I going to do with you? How am I going to make you pay attention?'

"I turned and gestured for the wine boy, who came at once and filled my Master's cup. He asked me if I wanted anything, treating me with great deference, more deference even than he had shown my Master. I realized it was my ornate clothing, this great Babylonian show of jewels and embroidery and my formal hair and beard.

" 'No,' I said. I felt sad that I had no money to bestow on him but then I saw several shekels of silver lying on the table. I gave this to him, and he went away.

"When I looked at Zurvan, he was sitting there resting on his elbows merely studying me. 'I think I understand it,' he said.