Her makeup ran. Her cheeks puffed. Her eyes turned bloodshot. The story haunted her as if she’d been there, digging through that garbage with me. Perhaps now she would understand. Perhaps now she would accept me as I was. “You…you killed him?”
I nodded. “Eventually.” When I had the money, the resources, and the strength, I came for him. “It took a long time. A decade ago. Like a coward, he was hiding in the middle of a forest in Romania. He must have known that we would grow into strong, ruthless men. He must have known what we would do to him.”
“What did you do to him?”
I’d spare her the gory details that would give her nightmares. “He died a coward. My family got the revenge they deserved. He tried to kill me as a boy, but I came back and slaughtered him as a man.”
Tears continued to run down her cheeks, the pain too much for her to carry.
“I became the biggest kingpin in this country. I earned back the wealth that was taken from us. I earned back the respect that his scandal caused. I left that house as a weak boy, but I became the strongest man who could carry all of my siblings out of that house to safety. I became the man who would have kept my mother safe. Never in my life will I be weak again. Ever.” My hands tightened in anger because I’d failed my family. “If I’d been stronger, I could have saved my other brother. If I’d been smarter, I could have suspected his intentions and killed him before he put that gun to my mother’s head.” My voice rose entirely on its own. “I will protect the brother I have left. I will protect my family name. And I will protect the woman I love.” My knuckles turned white as I tightened my fists more than I ever had. I forced them to release before I ripped all the tendons underneath my skin.
She moved into my lap, her arms hooking around my neck as she pressed her face close to mine, rivers of tears down her cheeks, her eyes filled with remorse for crimes she’d never committed. She looked at me before she pressed her forehead to mine. “I’m so sorry…”
My arms wrapped around her and held her against me, smothered by her love and affection, smothered by her smell. She was the single most important thing in the world to me, and as I felt her delicateness with my hands, I knew I would protect this precious thing to the forfeiture of my own life. In a heartbeat. “Now you understand why I won’t change. Why I’ll never change.”
We didn’t speak of it again.
Days passed and she didn’t mention it, but I knew it was on her mind because of her silence. Her mind always seemed elsewhere, living in the memories I’d shared with her, dissecting the tale that no one should have to tell.
We sat together on the couch in my bedroom, the game on the TV above the fireplace and next to her painting. It was a nighttime ritual we did now, spent the evening together watching TV before dinner.
She was snuggled into my side, her hand planted on my thigh, her head against my shoulder. She was in her dress with her heels kicked off, and I was in my sweatpants. She pushed off me then regarded me, her eyes filling with that same sadness she’d showed days ago. “Tell me about your family.”
I ignored the TV even though it was a game I wanted to watch. My focus was on her—like always. “Mother was a homemaker. Magnus and my sister were twins. My older brother was a great soccer player.”
“Magnus had a twin?”
I nodded. “He lost his other half. It still bothers him.”
“I can only imagine…”
“You would never guess I had a great childhood, judging by the way it ended. But I did. We had a nice home in Paris. We all went to private school. My mother was the best cook. She could have had the nanny chauffeur us around, but she also chose to do those things herself. She’d make us breakfast, take us to school in the morning, be there for all the performances and games. We’d spend our summer vacation at our other home in Tuscany. Attended events in society because of our status. But our mother never allowed our wealth to turn us into smug kids. She kept us humble.”
“She sounds like a great mom…”
My head turned back to the TV. “She was.” She thought money was the root of all evil, and she was right, because it was the reason she was murdered in her sleep.
“Is that why…you won’t sleep with me?”
I turned back to her. “Yes.”
She gave a slight nod, but her eyes suggested she’d already figured that out. “I understand now.”