I lean on the wall, holding it up, or maybe it’s holding me up. The door opens and closes behind me and then Adam is using the wall just like me.
“We can turn back,” he tosses into the night air, a twinkling little star I wish I could just grab and take home with me, but it’s not that simple.
“My first mission with Max,” I say, “was before we joined Tag.”
“He was with you when you were military?”
“He was,” I say solemnly. “Both of us worked for Candace’s father. We were sent to Mexico. A cartel had kids held hostage and we were told they were prepared to slaughter them, a promise the General told us not to question. He told us to kill whoever we had to kill to save those kids. And so, we did.” I glance over at him. “The reality is that day made me a willing killer. Some people deserve to die.”
“Did you save the kids?”
“Every fucking last one of them and there were twenty of those little monsters. I killed as many men that day and so did Max. He also saved my life on that mission. I had two kids in my arms, and a hostile came at me. I couldn’t lift my weapon. I should have died.”
“And he killed him.”
“He did.”
“Okay,” he says. “I get it. He did a good thing, but he was with Tag. He was a mercenary.”
“So the fuck was I. And he wanted out of that shit, just like me.”
“You’re defending him with your words, but you’re also standing outside, ignoring the food you worship, without a joke or snarky word to your name. Why?”
My jaw sets and my hands settle on my hips. “I don’t fucking know.”
“You always know,” he reminds me. “You are always certain about everything you do. It’s how you operated on me under heavy gunfire and saved my life.”
“I don’t fucking know, Adam. Maybe it’s the timing. I should be with Candace, not here, right now.” I hesitate, lips pressed together with another memory poking at my mind. “Or maybe I’m reliving the past, remembering the wrong moment in time.”
“Meaning what?”
I turn away from him, scrubbing a hand through my hair, thinking back in time again. “Max and I had joined Tag’s team, but we both thought he was an extension of the Army,” I say, sitting down on the concrete wall lining a plant bed.
“A shift of funds,” he supplies.
“Exactly. Same job, different title. Our first job, we saved a woman held captive by a foreign government. We’d killed that day, we killed a lot of people, but nothing there changed. We did the dirty work.”
“Something changed or you wouldn’t be telling me this story.”
“Yeah, we got paid. That was our first payday. Max and I walked off the plane in South Carolina where we’d been stationed at that time, only to be handed envelopes loaded with cash. Max took one look inside and said, ‘Fuck, man. I’ll kill about anyone for this kind of cash.’”
“Fuck, Savage.”
“I know. At the time, I laughed it off as talk, but there were a few moments, just a few, when I felt Max risked anything, including innocent lives, to finish his mission.”
“And score his payday.”
“Yeah. But there were plenty of other jobs that told a different story.” I push off the wall and say, “I need to eat. Let’s eat.”
Adam catches my arm. “Don’t blow off a gut feeling. I’ve seen how money can change a man.”
“He saved my life,” I remind him.
“Would you recommend him for Walker?”
I don’t have to think. I answer immediately. “No, but you did me because you expect certain things from me. And I’m here because for the first time in years, thanks to you and Candace, I see myself as worthy of being here. I owe Max, Adam, and a debt is not always convenient. A friend in need doesn’t choose when to have that need or he wouldn’t be in need. I will pay my debt properly, the way Walker, and my woman would expect me to. And then I’m going home worthy of the woman I love. After which Candace will be in a tiny bikini on a sandy beach reminding me how fucking lucky I am to be alive and call her my wife.”
He studies me a moment. “Yes, you will,” he vows and releases me.
Together we head back inside and eat our damn food, brothers in all things.
I’m just not sure I can say the same of Max.
CHAPTER NINE
Savage
Candace is on my mind as Adam drives the rental toward Gatlinburg, Tennessee, while he yaks about its beauty. “I was here years back,” he says, as if he hasn’t told us this already. “It’s a hidden gem of beauty,” he continues, “a town of four thousand people, who live surrounded by green mountain tops, towering peaks, and views so glorious they draw tourists year-round.”