“Did he, at any time, allude to shadow riding?”
“No. Had he done that, I would have gone to Stefano immediately.” She would have. There was no doubt in her mind. She would never have risked her family. Never. She knew the truth was in her voice for Elie to hear.
“Did he really betray you, Emme? The way you said he did?”
She nodded slowly, the hurt ripping through her every bit as physical as it was emotional. She had stood in the shadows, in his bedroom. She hadn’t been able to hold out any longer, and she’d gone to him, ready to commit to their relationship.
“I was going to tell him I loved him. I would have given up shadow riding for him. Being a Ferraro. Everything I am, to be with him. I went to him, and he was with another woman. In his bedroom. She asked about me, told him she’d heard he was with me. He kind of snickered and said I was just business. He’d been ordered to make me fall in love with him and was fucking me to get me to spill the Ferraro secrets. Did he really want to be with a spoiled baby who didn’t know jack about sex? That’s why Vittorio beat the shit out of him at the hotel that day. I inadvertently said something. I had before, but no one was really listening to what I said, I guess.”
Elie groaned. “For fuck’s sake, Emme. I practically said the same thing about Brielle. How can you even look at me?”
“Clearly, you aren’t Valentino Saldi,” Emme said. “You hate what you did to Brielle and tried to apologize. She just didn’t give you the chance.”
Elie was silent for a long time. He swirled his straw and then looked up at her, his dark eyes pure velvet. “Has Val ever tried to explain to you what he said and did?”
She felt the color drain from her face. Her body went stiff with shock. “Yes. Many times. I can’t listen to him. I don’t dare let myself.” She whispered the confession like a terrified child.
“Why, Emme? You’re a Ferraro. A shadow rider. Why are you so afraid of Valentino Saldi? It shouldn’t matter how sexually attracted you are to him or how emotionally attached. You can hear lies. You can hear them. You know if he speaks the truth. Brielle could have heard the truth if she wanted to hear it. She didn’t. She chose to live with that hurt, and she condemned me and someone else to an arranged marriage because she didn’t have the courage to at least let me explain. Yeah, what I did was wrong. It was so fucked up it wasn’t funny, but she’s not without blame, either, because she didn’t even once let me try to explain in all the times I reached out to her.”
Emmanuelle wanted to put her hands over her ears and drown him out. “Sometimes the cut is so deep, Elie, you can’t bear to ever go there again.”
“Maybe you’re right, Emme. But think about the poor bastard you’re condemning to living with you who will never have real love from you. Your loyalty, yes, but never your love, and he’ll know it. He’ll feel it every damn day of his life.”
“That’s not fair and you know it. You can hardly compare Valentino Saldi, a criminal, with your situation. That’s what you’re doing.”
“Technically, Emme,” Elie said, complacent as always, “we’re criminals. We’re assassins. We kill people, any way we look at it. You don’t know what Val does or doesn’t do. Even Stefano isn’t certain of Val. I know because I asked him.”
Emmanuelle’s phone vibrated, and she pulled it out of her pocket with a little sigh, grateful for the respite. She didn’t want to talk about Valentino Saldi anymore. She didn’t want to think about him. She hadn’t slept in months. She’d cried so many tears she was pretty certain she could have filled a lake. Still, there was an emptiness in her, a pain that just wouldn’t go away. There was no way to explain that to Elie. He’d said hurtful things to a woman, but he didn’t know her. She’d spent time with Valentino for years. He’d made love to her. He’d taken her rough, gentle, slow, fast, looking into her eyes.
She was not going to cry right there in the pizzeria. She clutched her phone like a lifeline and looked down at the message. For a moment she didn’t actually comprehend what she was seeing. Not who it was from or what it meant. Dario. Val’s bodyguard and lieutenant. She thought she’d purged every number. Blocked them all. Why would he reach out to her of all people, even if there was an emergency? This made no sense. Her heart began to pound in alarm.