She wasn’t anything like any other woman I’d ever met, ever been with. She didn’t preen or constantly tug at her dress, fluff her hair or refresh her makeup. No, Teddy was a woman completely comfortable in her own skin, whether it was covered in sawdust or an evening gown, and that, I found was more appealing than bedroom tricks. More appealing than a desire to keep things casual. She was a genuine human being, she didn’t put on pretenses, and despite what some women saw as my fatal flaw, Teddy didn’t judge me for wanting something at odds with societal norms.
She didn’t want me, but not because I shied away from commitment, she didn’t want me because what I wanted was at odds with what she wanted. I didn’t want what she wanted.
Did I?
As someone else took over the microphone on stage, I closed my eyes and tried to picture what my life would look like in five years, ten years, if I wanted the things Teddy wanted. It all came flooding to me, crystal clear.
Teddy sitting cross-legged on our bed when I came home from a late shift, doing paperwork for her business. Greeting me with a smile and a kiss. Holiday mornings with just the two of us. Her belly swollen with my child, a tool belt slung over her shoulder because it no longer fit her narrow waist. The game room was transformed into a playroom, the beer in the cooler replaced with juice boxes and popsicles, inflatable puzzles and LEGO displays. My eyes slammed open.
“Holy shit.” I sat in my chair, dumbfounded.
Antonio looked at me with a smug smile. “Finally figured it out?”
I nodded absently, trying to see around him, to get another glimpse of Teddy to make sure this wasn’t some madness induced hallucination. “I think so. Or I’m just losing my mind.” She wasn’t at the table. “Ouch! What the hell?”
Antonio shrugged. “Just wanted you to know this is real.”
“Thanks. Prick.”
“What are best friends for,” he asked around a far too amused chuckle that was just low enough to avoid a glare from Suzie.
“She’s gone.” Dammit, I left it too long. “I thought I had at least until after dinner.” I stood and glanced around the ballroom, spotting more familiar faces than unfamiliar ones, but none of them were the face I was looking for. “I’ll be back.”
“I’ll be here. Good luck.” Antonio’s support meant a lot to me, and I went in search of Teddy knowing I had his blessing now that I knew what I wanted.
Teddy.
Everything.
There was a terrace out back, but she wasn’t there. Teddy wasn’t double checking on her booths before the silent auction got under way or even secretly bidding early. She wasn’t hiding out in the kitchen, or trying to pilfer an extra dessert for Rosie. Put simply, she was nowhere at all.
“Damn!”
“Cal, hey.” Kara’s suddenly shy voice pulled me up short as did her sudden appearance right in front of me.
“Oh uh, hey Kara. You look nice.” She wore a simple black dress and her hair was swept up, but that was all the detail I took in as my head swiveled in search of a vision of blue.
“Thanks. You look great too.” She tucked a nonexistent hair behind her ear and looked up at me through her lashes. “So, what’s up?”
I let out a low sigh, reaching for patience as reality crashed that Teddy could be at home already with a locked door between us. “Just fundraiser stuff. I need to get going.”
A flash of surprise appeared in her eyes and Kara nodded. “Save me a dance later?”
Ah, yet another thing Teddy was right about. Kara was looking to recapture her youth. “Sorry Kara. I’m on a mission and if it goes well, my dance card will be full for the foreseeable future.”
Her brows rose as the information sank in. “Yeah? Lucky girl.”
“Let’s just hope she thinks so.”
“Uncle Cal!” Rosie’s voice came from behind me and I turned slowly, knowing exactly who was at her side before I even saw her.
Teddy. And she didn’t look pleased.
Teddy
“Good job, Rosie. You are becoming such a big girl.” One of the hardest things about being a good aunt to such an adorable little girl was letting her grow up.
Rosie smiled up at me and showed her wet hands. “I’m too short to dry ’em.”
“It’s a good thing I’m strong then, isn’t it?” I lifted her up and let her snatch her paper towels from the dispenser because Rosie was becoming more independent with each passing day. “Good job. Let’s get back to the table before Uncle Travis eats all the food.” Suzie had promised good salmon and since I skipped grocery day this week, I hoped she hadn’t over sold it.
Rosie led the way back to the bathroom and stopped abruptly. “Uncle Cal!”