I shake my head and try not to laugh. Unfortunately, my mother never gives up. “Actually, mom, I'm not sure about that,” I answer.
“What do you mean, you are not sure?” Mother asks, sounding a little exasperated.
I plop down on my dorm room bed and get ready to explain. “Well, I'm kind of worried about Dad. It has been a while since I last saw or heard from him. It's not like him to just disappear like this. I was thinking about going back home to Staten Island to try and find him.”
My mother scoffs loudly over the phone. “Oh, please, he's just sulking. Don't bother with him, dear. It's better if you just leave him alone. He'll get over it eventually. Besides, this is your summer and your life. So you should be focusing on yourself,” she replies.
I look around the room, suddenly anxious to get off the phone. “I don't know. But, listen, mom, I'm going to go for a run and think about everything,” I tell her.
“All right, but call me as soon as you get back so we can start planning your trip out here,” she insists.
I try not to roll my eyes. “Okay, bye,” I say and hang up. I throw the phone lightly on the bed then look in my closet for my workout clothes. Once I'm dressed, I leave the dorm.
Outside it is already sunny and warm. I stretch briefly before walking from the building to the track. A few other people are enjoying the weather as well.
It's early summer, which means the days are longer. That could be enjoyable to some, I guess. I haven't had much free time since I have been so busy studying for finals and everything. This summer break is going to be such a welcome relief. I just wish that I didn't have to spend so much time trying to figure out where to spend it. That is going to exhaust me even more.
As I start jogging slowly, my footsteps make a soft, crunching sound on the dirt. I weigh my options.
My mom makes a valid point. Maybe I would have a good time with her in Atlantic City. It is an excellent spot to visit, especially in summer, with lots of sunbathing. However, I can't stop worrying about my father. It bothers me the way my mother talks about him sometimes.
I'm halfway down the track when I feel it. My head spins like I'm going to pass out. I move to the side of the trail where a bench is and sit down. My vision is a little blurry, I take deep, gasping breaths, but I still feel faint.
What is happening to me? Could it be the heat? I haven't been sick lately or anything. I made sure that I stretched properly and everything before jogging. Maybe I am just overwhelmed emotionally from everything that has been happening. That makes sense.
A lady jogs past me. I hear her footsteps stop, then she walks over to me. “Are you okay?” she asks out of concern.
I look up at her. “I'm okay, just a little faint,” I reply, trying not to sound too out of breath.
She gives me a once-over glance. “You’re pale. I've had those symptoms before. Maybe you should try taking a pregnancy test,” she suggests.
I watch her jog away with my mouth open in shock. As I sit there wondering what the possibilities are, I realize that she could be right.
Not wanting to waste another moment, I get up and leave the school. There is a drug store just down the street. I'm thankful that I live in a community where everything is so close by. It’s one of the perks of living in a college town.
It doesn't take me long to find the test. I purchase one then run back home. Once I'm safely in my room, I pull the test out of the bag. Before I can lose my nerve, I head into the bathroom and take it. I stare blankly at the bathroom wall as I wait to read the results. Then, all too soon, time is up. My heart is pounding in my chest as I reach for it. My hand shakes a little as I see the positive symbol. I set it down on the counter and walk out of the bathroom.
Sitting on the bed, I feel like I’m going to faint from shock. I’m having Isaac's baby. What am I going to do?
I completely forgot that this could be a possibility of losing my virginity to him. Even more important than that is whether or not I should tell him. He is the father and deserves to know. Then I stop and think about our last encounter, how he asked me to leave and how I have been trying this whole time to forget him. Maybe it's better that I don't say anything. He could have the same reaction to the baby. I don't need that to happen. That would be a nightmare.