I open my eyes and nod my head softly.
“See you then,” he says, dropping my hand and walking away.
“See you then,” I finally answer, but he is too far away to hear me.
I pull out another cigarette and light it up. Leaning my ass up against the railing outside of his apartment, I stare after him until I can no longer see his figure, with a big-ass goofy grin on my face.
Chapter 18
I have no rhyme or reason for why I told Knox to meet me at the one place I want to be alone.
Besides Baby Jane’s company, I really don’t care for anyone else’s.
With a heavy sigh, I glance up at the time on the corner of the computer screen, then get to my feet. The chivalrous thing to do would be to show up and sit with him, but the animal inside of me knows the only way to get rid of this unwanted pest is to dispatch of him.
I shake my head as I lock my computer screen and shrug my jacket on. I don’t want to hurt Knox any more than I want to keep him but he’s making the choice for me with as persistent as he’s being. He obviously can’t see monsters in the daylight, and if he chooses to walk among us at night, he’s being willfully blind to the horrors in this world.
The only way to let him know is to show him—and it’s a weight I’m willing to carry for all of the other Knox’s I know I’ll come across on another night.
Before I leave my office, I reach into the top drawer of my desk and pull out two pairs of latex gloves. One to keep his eyes from wandering to where they shouldn’t, and one for when it’s time to show him.
I slide one pair into my pants pocket, then slip the other pair on, interlacing my fingers to make sure they’re firmly in place before I crack my neck and reach for my badge.
I have no doubt that the wounded little puppy is probably waiting for me, eager to see my hands and hope that they’ll reach out to stroke him again.
Baby Jane gives me a smirk when I walk into the diner and that takes me back slightly. I’m used to a smile, or even a nod when I enter the establishment, but not a smirk. However, when I follow her eyes as they wander to my favorite table in the diner, I have to stifle another sigh and remind myself to catch this fly with honey and not vinegar.
I give Baby Jane a nod as I make my way over and take my regular seat which happens to be across from Knox tonight. He looks so relieved I’ve shown up that I’m afraid he’s going to fall over.
“I’ve already ordered your dinner,” he begins eagerly, “meatloaf with mashed potatoes, gravy, and a small bowl of rice, right?” I don’t react even though I’m now wondering just how long he’s been watching me to know the exact thing I order every time I come here. He couldn’t have picked all that up from the few moments he spent with me the first time we met, but instead of speaking, I nod and clear my throat.
I want to have my meal in silence like I’m used to, but I doubt that’s going to happen tonight. Besides, after Sid and Daisy, I wouldn’t mind some mindless chatter—just not with Knox.
“So, how’s your day—uh, night been going?” he asks, propping his elbows up on the table. I glance up at him and internally roll my eyes. His chin is resting in the palms of his hands and he’s looking at me like he’s seeing me for the first time. Almost like he’s in love, which would be moot at this point in whatever fictitious relationship he thinks we have.
I turn my eyes away from him and glance over at the counter. Baby Jane is nowhere to be found and it would be so fucking easy to kill him right now, but I want to take him back home with me. I know he thinks there’s nirvana in the building I live in and that he has to climb a few steps to get there; I need him to see how wrong he is.
“Nice night out, isn’t it?” he continues nervously.
I blow out my breath and make fists of my hands which are still in my pockets. It’s obvious he’s not going to stop talking until I respond to him one way or another.
“It’s not bad,” I reply quietly with a shrug.
“Have I upset you?” he asks, his voice cracking slightly.
I shake my head, “No. I just like to eat in silence.”
He blanches as he begins to chew on his lower lip, his shoulders slumping slightly, and I sigh. “Just … I don’t mind talking, but not a lot, okay?”
He nods, looking a little less dejected and I return the nod. Especially now that I can see Baby Jane heading my way with … two plates?
“I’ll be back with your rice,” she says as she sets two identical helpings down, one in front of each of us. If he’s trying to unnerve me, it won’t fucking work; though at this point, I doubt Knox is clever enough to think of a tactic like this.
“This looks great!” he says enthusiastically as he unfolds his napkin and drapes it across his lap.
And this is the moment I didn’t even know I was waiting for.
I clear my throat and finally remove my hands from my pockets, reach for my napkin and open it with a flourish. I can see Knox watching me with the fork in front of his open mouth, seemingly confused, and yet completely fascinated.