Two
I decided to walk around downtown Amsterdam instead of going home right away. Kerstan’s warning played over and over in my mind. He wanted me to “leave it alone” but I was a naturally curious person which was how I ended up in his house. He also knew that I was never one to really do what he said so I was left wondering how I was going to figure out this mystery. How was I going to get to this American girl without knowing where to start?
With a sigh, I sat on a bench in a pleasant park that overlooked the Rhine River and weighed my options.
The first was that I could knock on Kerstan’s door every day for the rest of my life hoping he’d answer. The second was that I could ask around and see if anyone knew where the Amity girl was. And the last option, the one I wanted the most to avoid, was to strike a bargain with Kerstan. My services for the information I was looking for.
Redemption is such a bitch, I thought to myself wryly.
I decided I would find a hotel in the area for the evening. Tomorrow, I would go back to Kerstan with my decision. Whatever that may be.
Three
Amity
It took days, but I finally stopped crying. I was sitting in a room underneath the house alone and above me I could hear the other girls walking around, the front door opening from time to time. I would hear Luuk’s voice raise in anger causing the tears to spring to my eyes again. I fought them back every time; I refused to give him any further feeling of worth at the expense of myself. Instead I stayed where he put me after I stupidly made my way here and I stubbornly wouldn’t come out. Luuk told me that he would leave the door unlocked for me and that when I was ready to join the other girls, he would welcome me back upstairs into his home. Luuk, I thought bitterly to myself, where the fuck did you come up with that name?
“Luuk” as he called himself was a ghost from my past. I understood now why the things were happening to me that were. I understood now that all hope was pretty much lost on any kind of redemption. The feeling of absolute shock and dismay when I looked up as he called out my name. The realization of who had been doing this to me and why Kerstan had once told me that I wasn’t ready for this encounter yet made more sense to me than anything in the world.
Luuk was actually Smith Lennox; Theo’s younger brother and we have a very bitter history.
Smith never thought I was good enough for Theo and Theo always thought that Smith thought I was perfect enough for him. I never thought of Smith as anything other than my true love’s brother; he never thought of me as anything other than a meaningless whore, which he had told me I was quite a few times, prompting endless fights with Theo. It got worse when I slipped one night and drunkenly had sex with Smith and with as much as I hate to readmit this to myself, I know that Theo chose me over his family and that only wound up sending Smith to a dark place of resentment and apparently vengeance.
A soft tap at the door distracted me from my thoughts. I glanced over as it began to open slowly and Famke peeked her head timidly in.
“Amity?”
“Still here,” I confirmed softly.
“Can I come in?” she asked.
“Yes, but be careful not to push the door closed all the way or we’re both fucked until Luuk decides to let us out,” I said emphasizing his name angrily.
I watched her as she came into the dimly lit room, pulling a chair in behind her, and closing the door only slightly. Famke brought her chair over and sat it across from me, smiling as she sat. I raised an eyebrow at her and crossed my arms over my chest waiting to find out what she wanted. I knew she was only trying to be kind, hell the girl had traveled half of Amsterdam to find me, but I wasn’t in the position to start making friends now. Especially knowing that Minnie was upstairs somewhere being left to the sadistic whims of that piece of shit.
“You know him, don’t you?” she asked, after a few moments of thoughtful silence.
I nodded.
“How?”
“That’s none of your business,” I said, shaking my head, “I’m sorry, I don’t want to be a bitch to you because I know what you went through to make Betje feel better, but I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep trying to befriend you girls only to have you traded off, raped, beaten, or killed. I have enough on my conscience already and he’s just another reminder of where I went wrong.”
My words stung her, I could tell by the look on her face. I would be as verbally abusive to them as I had to be to be able to keep them all safe regardless of how they would think of me in the end. Unfortunately my priorities had switched now. Instead of coming to break Minikin out, I spent my days in this room wondering what I could possibly give Smith to let her go.
“Tell me something,” Smith said entering the room and giving Famke such a dangerous look that she left me alone with him. “How many years did you think it was my brother that did this to you? How many years did you fuck random men and women for money and just know that it had to be him even if you never uttered the words out loud?”
The smug look on his face as he took the seat across from me was enough to make me want to punch him in the face. Unfortunately for me, once I came to realize who had sold me to Kerstan, I had lost all of my inner strength. The fire that burned inside of me night after night, man after woman after man, seemed to be snuffed out immediately.
“I never suspected Theo,” I replied quietly.
“Liar!” he yelled, slamming his fist on the table. “You always suspected him, because of how horribly you hurt him. It’s okay to finally admit it, Amity. If it makes it easier on you, he stopped loving you when you whored around with me. I might even think it’s safe to say that he never truly loved you.”
I felt the hot tears stream down my cheeks and wiped them away quickly before they had a chance to fall completely. I sniffled and took a deep breath. I wanted desperately to tell him how wrong he was and how in love Theo and I were and how much I loved him still. I wanted to tell him that no matter how many men and women I had been forced to fuck for money, that I still had dreams of being in Theo’s arms one day. But I knew he wouldn’t believe me and it would be a waste of breath because a small, terrifying thought floated in the back of my mind. What if he really doesn’t love me anymore?
Four
Valentina