Razer nodded as I talked. He understood.
"The only thing to do is to make sure he can't sell the place. We have to work together."
I gave him an appraising look.
"Hey, I want to save the place as much as you do. They’re my people. We could play at any club in this city but that's where we started and we'll keep playing there forever."
"Even if you become a huge star," I asked.
"Even if I become the hugest star in the galaxy. There are some places that just feel real. Like family. Where you don't have to be anyone but yourself and other people don't give a shit. They want you to be yourself. It's comfortable and even the bad times are better there than anywhere else. That sounds stupid, I know. I can't say what I mean..."
I smiled, a shiver going through me at his words.
"I know exactly what you mean."
His gaze locked onto mine. A wave of desire shot straight to my soul like I'd known this would happen from the moment he picked me up. He was part of the crushing weight that something I loved might end, my need for comfort, the battering of the rain. Part of Trouble, which might soon be taken away from me.
He stared at me until I blushed and wanted to turn away. Something in his eyes made me feel like he could see things in my soul that I didn't know myself. I couldn't turn away, though, I was too caught in the moment.
He gently lowered my foot to the bed, propping it on a pillow, then reached over and stroked my
cheek. My skin felt like it was on fire and I couldn't breathe. My senses went haywire. I knew I should've told him to stop. My brain told me that was the right thing. I had to fight but the rain kept pattering on the roof and the droplets ran down the window and my heart wouldn't let me move.
The rain enveloped us in a cocoon and the outside world seemed so far away. It wouldn't hurt, just this once, to give in.
When his lips touched mine, I almost jumped from the sensation. The wave crashed through my body, so intense I felt like I’d drown. But he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer. The raindrops on the roof beat out a pattern that mirrored the beating of my heart and my stomach dropped like I was at the top of a roller-coaster, waiting to plummet out of control.
Our mouths became hungry with urgent kisses while my insides churned. This went against everything I believed in, my personal code of honor thrown to the ground and trampled but it felt good and right. I moaned with my need for more. He tried to tell me something with his kisses, a whole story for me to read. I wanted that story to unveil itself to me. I pulled him closer and ignored the twinge of pain in my ankle, just to have his body against mine.
He lowered me onto the mattress, gently, without taking his mouth from mine. I traced the tattoo lines along his chest and down his arms, the dips and curves over muscles of steel.
His fingers deftly undid the buttons on my dress until it fell open. His finger ran down my stomach, slowly, as though memorizing every contour of my skin. It tickled and I tried not to flinch but that just made him laugh.
There was something right about it like we were meant to be. No need to rush or to think too much. Just a delicious dream.
Then the phone rang.
I tried to ignore it. It rang out once. The second time, I could ignore it no longer.
He ran his hand through his hair while I answered. It was Chuck.
"Where are you, Violet? You're meant to be working tonight. You know I need to be able to rely on you."
My heart hit reality with a thud so heavy, I was surprised the building didn't shake. I couldn't do this. I couldn't run away and I couldn't have these feelings. I needed to prove myself. I’d be proving myself until the end of time.
I sat up, shooting Razer an apologetic smile but not meeting his eyes. Never meeting his eyes.
"I've got to run," I said. "I'm needed back at work." I spun around, trying to get my head straight. I had to shower and change. My ankle throbbed but I could get a cab into the club. I wasn't sure how I'd manage the stairs but I would do it somehow.
"Do you need me to go with you?" he asked.
I shook my head. "I'll be fine. But I need to get there."
I willed him to get the hint and leave. I didn't want to deal with the fallout from this. But he lingered. I grabbed a towel off the back of a chair and headed to the bathroom.
"Don't touch anything," I said and hit the shower.
As the water hit me, I realized I'd come so close to fucking up. Too close. I needed to put as much distance between Razer and me as I could.