After the shoot, I left the bar feeling like shit and headed over to Phil's. Even Phil's hurt now that my baby was gone. I hadn't even seen Alex play that guitar and Dazza hadn't seen him with it either. He'd probably thrown her in the back of the cupboard and forgotten her, moved onto something new and shiny. Maybe I should've included that in the competition. Winner gets my baby.
My phone rang before I got to the store.
“Razer? I’m Jim Reilly, manager of Muff Monkey. You’ve heard of them?”
I pressed the phone tight to my ear, blocking out the traffic noise. “Yeah, of course.”
Muff Monkey were one of the biggest things around at the moment. Everyone had heard of them.
“Someone recommended you to me. Our guitarist broke his hand and we need a fill-in. We’d love to yet you in for an audition.”
My phone almost slipped from hand. Hadn’t been expecting that.
“Audition?”
“If you’re interested in the fill-in job. We’re about to head overseas on tour and we need someone like yesterday.”
He wanted me to play guitar for Muff Monkey? On an overseas tour? A dog walk down the street, sniffing at every pole and a train rumbled nearby.
“You there?”
“I’m here but I’m not sure I’m the person you’re looking for.”
I’d have to leave behind everything. Violet, the guys, the club. If I joined Muff Monkey, even temporarily, I’d have fame and money but what use were those things to me if left behind everything I cared about.
“It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, mate.”
I nodded. “Sure it is but I’ve got my own band. I’m not the right guitarist.”
Chapter 25 VIOLET
RAZER WAS A BIG SHIT, that was all. He'd slept in then rocked into the photoshoot like he'd done nothing wrong. I wondered if he even cared. Because I sure didn't. He could screw up his own career as much as he liked, so long as he didn't screw up the club – and my job – as a consequence.
Even when I got curled up on the couch, I couldn't sleep. Not with this anger coursing through me. I didn't even care what Razer did.
I punched the cushion I used as a pillow. It would not make itself comfortable. Damn cushion. Normally, it was so comfy.
I must've dozed off at one point though because I opened my eyes and the room had grown dark. I could hear things being set up outside. Obviously, Chuck wasn't around because I'd have never been allowed to sleep. I bet Carlie had covered for me with the bands because it had to be getting late. I'd buy her something nice as a thank you. Maybe let her borrow my biker boots. She always wanted to borrow those boots.
"This is where you've got to." Alex opened the door. "If you want to be alone, just tell me."
I’d been dreaming about Alex. A soft and lovely dream where he wore tight pants and black eyeliner. The edges of that dream still clung to me so that I was more receptive to Alex than usual.
I started to tell him to leave but realized it was just a reflex. I'd grown so used to repelling advances, I never stopped to consider if I might welcome them. My feelings for Alex were complicated but simple in some ways. If I cut through the crap, I could actually see us working as a couple. We had the same values and the same outlook on life. Things frightened me about Razer – his haphazard ways and the chaos – while Alex was the exact opposite.
Maybe I should give Alex a chance.
"No, come in," I said.
He sat down beside me. Because of the crappy sofa, we both leaned into the middle, shoulders touching.
I bit my lip, not sure what to do next. I wished he'd say something. The pounding of my heart seemed to expand to fill the room and I fought the impulse to jump up and ease the awkwardness then he put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him.
It wasn’t unpleasant.
&n
bsp; I gulped. I couldn't look at him and I wasn't sure where to put my hands. I was so bad at this stuff. He took my chin in his hand and turned my head so I had no option but to meet his gaze.