Alex put his arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder. Carlie shot me a look but I ignored it. This was too new and too uncertain to define. My feelings for Alex might just be raging hormones that would settle down to nothing in the morning. Alex would understand that. He wouldn’t expect this to be anything more than what it was.
I hoped.
I was going to suggest we leave when Razer arrived.
He quickly took in the sight of me sitting at the bar with Alex, the two of us all over each other. Even though he tried to hide it, the look of shock in his eyes made me reel.
My first thought was that he had no claim on me. If I wanted to let Alex put his arm around me, I could. Razer was nothing to me. I shouldn't give a damn what he thought. If I wanted to spend time with Alex, I had every right to.
So why did I feel like someone had punched me in the stomach?
I turned to Alex, only to see the look of triumph he gave Razer. I pulled away, that look acting like a bucket of cold water over my libido.
Suddenly, being with Alex didn't seem so right. The ground shifted under me and I saw things from a different angle. As much as I ached physically to be with him, I didn't want to get entangled in some game between them, just a prize to be won and gloated over.
If I slept with Alex, it’d always be there between us. You can’t take that back. You can’t unsleep with someone.
What I needed was to go home and have a cold shower and forget all about rockers.
“I’m out of here,” I said and stood up.
Alex started to stand up too.
“Alone,” I added.
Alex raised his eyebrows but sat back down. He glared at Razer but didn’t say anything.
“Dude’s totally cock-blocked you,” said Jackson with a dry laugh.
Chapter 27 VIOLET
CARLIE WALKED INTO my office and lit up her cigarette.
"Your boyfriends are getting a bit snarly with each other out there. Again. I've dealt with them for the moment but you need to get this sorted out.
"There's nothing to sort."
She laughed. "Deny it all you want. You have two hot guys chasing after you. Pick one."
"I pick neither but they won't believe me. Too many rock stars, that's my problem."
I didn’t look at her. Carlie could be way too perceptive. Maybe I did want one of them. I just wasn’t sure which one.
She snorted again. "There's only two of them."
"Two is way too many. The ideal number of rock stars is zero. Anyway, we have to let this competition play out now."
"You can’t fool me with your tough act. Anyway, if it's not rockers, who do you expect to meet? A banker? A fireman? Not going to happen in this place. You meet rockers or you meet guys who want to be rockers. Even worse, the guys who used to be rockers and are now just burnt out."
"I'm happy single."
"You looked even happier when you were getting friendly with Alex the other night. Until you saw Razer. Feeling a bit guilty, huh?"
I didn't feel guilty. Not exactly. "Anyway, the decision has been taken out of my hands. I have no say in my love life. It's been sacrificed to the gods of rock n' roll."
Carlie crushed out her cigarette. "Got to run. Of course, you could pick the option and take them both on. That’d be one hunky threesome."
She got out of my office before I could throw anything at her.