"You forgot I existed? When you see this every time you look in the mirror?" His other hand went to the same words tattooed across his chest. The words to that song he'd sung. When he'd first been signed to his label, to celebrate we'd gotten the tattoos. That had been the happiest day of my life. We were on the edge of achieving all of our dreams. We had everything, and the world opened before us. There was nothing that could stop us; we could fly.
"I don't even notice it anymore."
"You're lying, Carlie. You will never forget. Forgetting isn't part of the deal we made."
The deal that we made? The deal to be together forever. Forever hadn’t lasted long.
"You broke that deal. That deal is dead now."
I pushed him away and walked out. I could've almost vomited as all those feelings I'd pushed down for so long came bubbling up and mixed with the vodka.
He grabbed my wrist.
>
"Don't keep walking away from me."
My pulse pounded in my ears. I hated Holden Ford. I hated him with every fiber of my being. Hatred throbbed through my whole body. It swirled through me in crazy patterns.
"All I can do is walk away," I shouted. "Do you even remember what you did to me? You broke me. You broke me into a thousand pieces and then left me destroyed so you could go on tour with the band and keep fucking groupies. I was nothing, absolutely nothing when you left. I had to put those pieces back one by one. If I could afford it, I'd get this fucking tattoo removed. In fact, I might do that with the money Alex paid me to watch your band."
Holden dropped my arm and stepped back. He obviously hadn’t known about Alex paying me.
"You weren't the only one that was hurt. You're not the innocent victim you make yourself out to be. Or have you conveniently forgotten that?"
"At least I never cheated."
"You'll never forgive me that, will you?"
"Not until the day I die."
"Even though you feel like this."
He grabbed me tight, wrapping me in his arms so I couldn't escape. I pushed against him but, when his lips met mine, I didn't pull away. I tried to resist but my body responded to him like it always did. I reached up and locked my arms around his neck, not wanting this kiss to ever end.
My toes curled. They hadn’t curled in three years but, as soon as Holden kissed me, that reflex returned.
I kissed him back. I was impossible for me not to kiss him. I pushed it all down, the fears I had and the inevitable future where he’d leave me again.
I’d deal with the hurt when it came because the feel of Holden’s body against mine was better than anything I’d felt in a long time.
He kissed my neck, in those places only he knew, and I moaned with the ecstasy of his touch.
If he wanted me, he could take me in the storeroom, on top of the vodka boxes, or in Violet’s office on the new sofa. He could fuck me anywhere he pleased but he pulled away from me and took my hand to lead me out of the bar.
I quit fighting. I’d always been his and always would.
Because, more than anything, I needed Holden King.
Chapter 18
I WOKE UP THE NEXT morning, wondering if it'd all been a wild sex dream but There was definitely someone beside me in my bed. I peeked then pulled the covers tight over my head.
Fuck. I had done it. For good or for bad, this wasn't a dream. It was a reality I had to deal with.
He stirred and I tried not to move so I wouldn't wake him. That way I could put off dealing with this for as long as possible. We'd come back to my place so it wasn't even like I could get dressed and sneak away. There'd be horrible morning-after crap instead. He'd be polite but cold until he made some excuse to flee. I wanted to be the one who fled, not the one who was left behind. That would give me the power.
He stirred again, turning onto his back.