Rock Star Returns: Carlie's Story (Access All Areas 2)

Holden put his arm around the girl, calming her and asking if she wanted her friends. Fuck him. It was me he should be comforting. I was the one who’d had to put up with all this shit.

“Get the lady a drink, Mark? Was it red wine?” Alex said without letting go of me.

I fought Alex, trying to loosen his grip on me. He should throw her out instead of giving her free drinks.

She smirked even though her lip bled, and that made me struggle more. I’d finish the job. I wanted to kill someone and I didn’t care if it was her, Alex or Holden. The whole fucking lot of them could die. She’d been being a stupid little bitch and deserved to get hit.

“Let me go,” I screamed but Alex carried me into Violet’s office and threw me on the sofa.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“You saw her. You saw what a creep she was being. She deserved what she got and more.”

Alex sat down on Violet’s desk. He folded his arms and looked serious. I was a teenager again, in the headmaster’s office, in trouble for fighting on school grounds.

They never understood. No one understood.

“Carlie, that’s the second time you’ve punched someone in this bar. The first time, I let it slide because it was before opening hours and you obviously had a history with Holden but this time you hit a customer. It’s not on. It’s totally not on. If you’re the bar manager here, I need you to act professionally. You are too fucking volatile and I have no idea what to do with you. Take some time off and sort yourself out. I don’t want you back until you have your shit together. I don’t want to sack you but, if she presses charges, I’ll have to.”

I sucked in my cheeks and glowered at him. “You started this, though, didn’t you? You were the one who wanted Holden to play here. You weren’t worried about what damage that would do. And now everyone is taking sides against me.”

He got up and walked to the door.

“Don’t make this about me. Or about Holden. Or even that girl out there. You can’t just punch people when things don’t go your way. You’ll be lucky if that girl doesn’t press charges. We aren’t taking her side; we’re cleaning up your mess. Get your temper under control or you’re out of a job.”

With that, he walked out the door. I wanted to pick up something and throw it after him but there was only a cushion. Alex could go to hell. The lot of them could.

I choked back a sob. I didn’t want to go back out there but I couldn’t stay in Violet’s office all night.

I could run up the back stairs to the band room. That way I could escape the club without seeing anyone. I needed to see Holden, though. I wanted him to pull me into his arms and tell me everything was okay. At the same time, if he did that, I’d fight him off. I couldn’t help myself.

But that didn’t mean I didn’t want him to try.

I walked out of the bar. Holden and that chick had both gone. My stomach churned, as I wondered if they’d left together. Holden’s jacket wasn’t where I’d hung it up behind the bar.

Even if they weren’t together, Holden hadn’t cared enough to wait for me. The dead weight of all my fears crashed around me.

My heart jumped when I saw him waiting outside. He leaned against the wall, staring at me.

“It’s not going to work,” he said.

I wrapped my arms around my stomach like I’d been hit.

“Not when you let every woman you meet maul you. How am I supposed to deal with that?”

He sighed. “I didn’t maul her. None of them mean a thing. I flash them a smile and they get a photo to post on their Facebook. I’d have shaken her off but you just made her more determined to hang around.”

“Right.” I was supposed to believe that?

“These are the people that support me. Don’t you understand that? I can’t treat them like trash.”

“Well, I can.”

But, even as I said it, the regret started. I’d gone too far. I didn’t need Holden or Alex to tell me that.

“Maybe I’m not right for you, Carlie. I just keep hurting you, over and over, even when I’m trying to make things right. You have to meet me halfway.”

A lump formed in my throat. It wasn’t even his words but the hurt in his eyes.