The knocker grunted but he stomped off. That put the pressure on me, though. I didn’t want to seem like a princess, hogging the bathroom to pretty myself up.
The second time, I still didn’t look perfect but figured the smeared eyeliner look was rock. I added my killer red lipstick then tried to wiggle out of my clothes and into my dress without letting anything touch the floor, because I wasn’t sure how clean that toilet floor was.
My fishnets were the toughest bit. I stood on my runners and tried to balance myself to get them on.
Finally, I grabbed out my boots and pulled them on my feet. I was ready.
I walked into the change room.
Pete gave me a sweeping look.
“What?” I asked.
“If you want to get some interest in the band, you could show a bit more cleavage.”
I put my hands on my hips and glared at him. I was already a bit nervous about the skin-tight dress. I’d been feeling bloated all day.
“What the fuck, Pete? What the actual fuck? If you want interest, you show your own motherfucking cleavage. I’m a guitarist, not a stripper. I don’t see you and Ferdie getting all dressed up to play.”
Pete laughed and that made me angrier. “No one’s paying to see the two of us look hot. This is the real world, Dee. If you have a chick out front, people want to see tits.”
My rage made it impossible for me to answer that. Pete had been a total jerk lately and I wanted to wipe that smile right off his face. But then he stopped laughing and stared at the doorway behind me.
I turned and saw Alex standing behind me, glaring at Pete.
“You are so full of shit. Dee’s the one people will watch, not because she has tits but because she has the talent and the charisma. You’re expendable.”
Alex left and I sat down on the sofa at the other end of the room to Pete. A couple of guys from the opening band came in and chatted to him and Ferdie, while I played on my phone.
I was still fuming when we went on to play. Fuming at Pete for being a huge sexist jerk. He’d never been like that before, he’d been the one encouraging me to play guitar and all that. Had he been thinking about my tits the whole time?
I was also fuming at Alex. He might’ve thought he was jumping in to defend me but he didn’t need to do that. I could stick up for myself and I would guarantee that crack about Pete being expendable would get his back up. And he’d take that out on me, not Alex.
I walked out on stage to a mild cheer and, after plugging in my guitar, turned to the crowd with my biggest shit-eating grin. The only way out of this was through and I couldn’t deal with Pete until after we’d finished playing. I didn’t want to ruin our chances by seething.
“Hey, thanks for coming out to see us tonight,” I shouted to the room.
That got a bigger cheer.
We slammed into our first song. As soon as I started, all the resentments died away. All that nastiness disappeared. It was me and the music. Pete might be a jerk but I could count on him to be there with me on stage when I needed him. We were on fire. If people didn’t love this, I had no idea what else to do because we were giving them everything we had to give.
Alex stood to the side, watching us. Well, it seemed more like he was watching me. It made me uncomfortable, but then I’d done worse to him. I’d just ignore him and focus on someone else in the room. A random guy in the crowd. Th
at focused my attention.
By the time we got a few songs into the set, I evaporated. I wasn’t even aware of what I was doing. It was all part of me and outside of me at the same time. Whether we were fantastic or were shit, I had no idea.
Then, suddenly, it was the last song. I didn’t want the gig to end. I’d have played all night, until my fingers bled and I had no voice left. I just needed to be part of this.
The song finished and people screamed for an encore. People I’d not even realised were in the room. So many more than I’d ever expected. I wasn’t sure about the protocol, if we could even keep playing. I looked to the spot where Alex had been standing. He was still there and he gave a nod.
After conferring with Pete and Ferdie, we decided to do some of the old standards we’d been practising. It was either that or repeat some of our own songs because that’s all the material we had.
I walked off stage buzzing. It was like nothing I’d ever felt before. The world was a marvellous place and I was right in the centre of it. The music still flowed through my body, like it’d not stopped. I couldn’t stand still. I went to the bar to get a drink and was mobbed. It was a small mob, just a few people really, but they all raved about how wonderful we were.
When I got free of them, I searched around the room, not sure what I was looking for. Until I saw him. Alex.
Alex