“Oh shit, don’t look so sad, sweetie,” he said, patting her back. “Just remember those chicks don't mean anything to him.”
“So why does he bother sleeping with them?” she said much louder than she'd intended.
Owen shrugged and scratched his head. “Convenience?”
And that's all she was to Adam too. His convenience stationed in Dallas, Texas. “Excuse me,” she said. “I need to use the restroom.” So I don't bawl my eyes out in public. She couldn’t do this anymore. It didn’t matter how much she loved him if he didn’t love her in return. A one-sided love affair would never be enough for her. Not even with Adam Taylor.
“Sure,” Owen said, his attention already diverting to someone else.
Madison was allowed to navigate the backstage area without interference. Both security and the crew recognized her. A few even offered her a friendly nod in greeting, which was baffling. Didn’t they realize she wasn’t famous enough to be here?
She found a restroom and locked herself in an empty stall. She didn't let herself crumble, only allowed a few tears to fall. She didn't want anyone to know she'd even considered crying. Maybe if she'd been interested in Adam because he was legendary, this would be easier, but she didn't love him because he was a rock star. She loved him despite it. Before she'd been introduced to the band and interacted with the scene that surrounded his professional life, she'd thought of music as Adam's job. But it was more than that. Music was his life. And she didn't fit in that life.
It was different when they were alone together. During those moments, she felt connected to him, a part of him, and felt he was a part of her, but here, surrounded by the crew and the band and the fans and the press and the hundreds of other people who were necessary to help run Adam's career, she knew their relationship was an illusion. There was no way for them to be together in a normal capacity. She didn't even know if he remembered what normal was like.
She blew her nose on some toilet paper and let herself out of the stall. She gazed at her face in the mirror, wondering why she had to fall for someone as unattainable as Adam Taylor. Why couldn't she have fallen for some nice plumber? Or a civil engineer? Nope, she had to hand her heart over to one of the most famous rock guitarists in the world. And she knew she could never have him. Not entirely.
Staring at her stricken reflection in the mirror, she realized the only way she was going to get over Adam was if she broke things off. Quit him cold turkey. And she had to do it soon; there was no point in delaying the inevitable. This would be their last night together. And she would make sure it was a night to remember so she could treasure it forever.
Heart heavy, Madison took a deep breath, straightened her spine and left the restroom to find Adam. She knew he liked when she showed her naughty side and since she didn’t want to be the only one who remembered their last night together, she’d use that to her advantage. He’d burn for her by the time he went onstage in two hours.
The sound of his guitar no longer filled the arena, but she headed that direction anyway. She wasn’t sure if he'd be in the band's dressing room or on the bus.
Or talking to some gorgeous redhead in a short leather skirt.
Madison drew to an abrupt halt, staring daggers at the woman. She wondered how intimately Adam knew her. They sure were standing close together. And the woman sure was smiling at him in open invitation. Even though Madison couldn't see Adam's face, there was no mistaking him from behind. If the rocker hair and all black attire hadn't given him away, that hot ass of his did.
Madison moved to stand behind him. You like sluts? I can pretend to be a slut. She slid her hand down his ass and squeezed. He whirled around.
“Madison?” he said, obviously astonished that she was the one giving his ass a squeeze in public. He probably would have been less surprised if some woman he'd never met had done so.
“Are you busy?” she asked.
“I was wondering where you wandered off to,” he said. He glanced at the redhead, who was scowling at Madison.
Sorry to get in the way of your good time, bitch, but he’s mine tonight. Madison narrowed her eyes at the woman.
The redhead's eyes narrowed at her.
“I had to use the restroom,” Madison said, her eyes practically closed they were so narrowed now. “I hope you didn't get too lonely without me.”
The corner of the redhead's mouth turned up. “I'd never let that happen,” she said in a low-pitched purr and ran her palm over Adam's thick-muscled arm.
Unless she squeezed her eyelids completely shut, it was physically impossible for Madison to narrow her eyes more, so she grabbed Adam's other arm and jerked him away from his predator.
“Is there anyone on the bus?” she asked him.
He shrugged. “Not sure. We can go check.” He nodded at the redhead. “Later, um . . . ”
“Sarah.”
“Right,” he said.
Madison forced herself not to give Sarah a smug look as Adam took her hand and led her toward the back of the arena where the tour bus was parked.
“You're not going to ask?” he said as they walked.
“Ask what?”
“How I know that woman. I thought you were going to scratch her eyes out for a minute there.”
“I don't really care how you know her,” she said, her spine so rigid she was surprised it didn’t crack under the strain.
He shrugged. “If you say so.”
Madison clung to his hand more tightly. She was such a liar. She did want to know how he knew her. If he was interested in her. If he'd ever had sex with her or if she'd sucked his c**k or if he'd so much as kissed her, but it wasn't her business.
“Did you f**k her?” she blurted and then covered her mouth with her free hand. Where in the hell had that question come from?
“Nope,” he said simply.
“Do you want to?”
“When I have you here?” He kissed her temple and squeezed her hand.
“But what if I wasn't here?”
“That would be different.”
And that's why she had to say goodbye to him. Technically, they could continue this way—her dropping everything to be with him when he was in town and those being the moments she lived for—but she couldn't go on like this forever. She'd tell him that in the morning. She wasn't even sure he'd care. A line of women waited to take her place the second she stepped aside.
“But I am here,” she reminded him.
“Exactly.”
Madison was disappointed to find the bus jam-packed with the rest of the band, some other guys Madison didn't recognize and a group of girls who didn't seem to care who fondled what. One of the young women was obviously very drunk and completely topless. When she spotted Adam standing near the driver's seat, she staggered in his direction.