Adam grabbed her by the arms and shook her.
“Damn it, Madison,” he said in a harsh growl. “I don't have to let them catch me.”
All the air whooshed out of Madison's lungs and her head snapped up so she could search for sincerity in his expression. “Adam, are you saying . . . ” Already the shreds of her heart were mending. “Would you be willing to . . . ”
“Madison, you're the only woman I give a damn about. If I have to give up f**king chicks I don't give a shit about in order to be with you, what do you think I'm going to choose?”
She lowered her eyes to stare at his chest again. “I don't know.”
He released her abruptly and stepped backward. She forced herself to look up again. She wasn't prepared for the twisted look of anguish on his handsome face.
He shook his head at her. “You really don't know? Madison, I thought you were the one person who understood me.”
“I hoped. I hoped you would choose me, Adam, but I didn't know, so I . . . I was just going to quit you cold turkey without forcing you to choose. My heart couldn’t take it, if you didn't choose me.”
He fisted her hair in both hands and tugged her closer. “Of course I'd choose you.”
He kissed her—a hard, deep punishing kiss that left her disoriented and breathless.
“How could you doubt me, Madison? Doubt your worth?” he whispered against her tender lips. “You’re so much better than I am, baby.” His voice cracked.
She shook her head. “You could have any woman you want.”
“That doesn’t matter. I want only you.”
Could she let herself believe that? She wanted to. But if she trusted him with her heart, held nothing back, gave it all to him, and he betrayed her . . . She clung to him, terrified that he’d crush her heart into a pulp.
Adam released one hand from her hair. He rubbed her flank, his hand sliding up under her skirt. A soothing touch, yet so very not.
“Do you believe, Madison?”
She wasn't sure. She'd never had these insecurities before. It had to be his fame that had her feeling so uncertain of herself. And the cheating. She couldn’t stand the thought of him holding another woman like this. Touching her like this. But was it cheating? He probably hadn’t thought of it that way, but even though they’d never forged a real relationship, it felt like he’d cheated on her. And that she wasn’t good enough to hold his attention.
“Why aren’t I enough for you?” she said, her eyes swimming with tears. “Why do you sleep with other women?”
“Baby, you’re more than enough for me. It’s just . . . I have a healthy sex drive,” he said.
She chuckled half-heartedly, squeezing her eyes shut and swallowing the lump in her throat. “I am well aware of that.”
“I didn't think you'd care about the other women. They kind of go with the territory and you never said anything about it. We never agreed that we’re an exclusive couple.”
Fair enough. “I know. But I do care,” she said. Some part of her afraid that he would run from her, her fingers clenched in his T-shirt. She didn’t want him to run and she didn’t want to quit him cold turkey. She wanted what she thought he was offering. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to believe it was possible. “The thought of you with another woman is agonizing. It’s been driving me crazy since our first kiss.”
His eyebrows drew together as if he'd just had a most disturbing thought. “Have you been with other men since our first time?”
No. God, no. I only want you, Adam. I only ever want you. She couldn’t get the words out. Trying to calm down, she lowered her gaze and took a deep breath. So many emotions were churning through her that she couldn’t decide if she wanted to laugh or cry.
“Who the f**k is he?” His hand tightened in her hair and he tugged her head back. He glared down at her, and Madison’s heart rate doubled instantly. Yes, she needed him to be rough with her now. All the emotions swirling within her were too much to bear. And that hand on her ass was deliciously, mind-bogglingly distracting.
“Would you spank me if I said that I spread my legs for another man?” she asked. Because lord, she could use a good, hard spanking right now.
“Did you f**k another man?” He ground his teeth together, a muscle twitching in his strong jaw.
“Did you f**k another woman?” she countered.
“Not as many as I have in the past,” he said defensively.
In other words, yes, he had f**ked another woman. Or more precisely, other women. She f**king hated this. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
His grip on her hair loosened, and he smoothed the long strands from her face. His lips brushed her forehead tenderly. “I wish it did. I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t know it would matter to you. I should have realized, I just . . . I’m sorry, baby.”
Overwhelmed with emotion, she jerked back. She couldn’t stand him to be tender with her. Not when she was already this close to tears. “I need you to spank me, Adam. Right now.”
His eyes searched hers for a moment, and then his hand tightened in her hair again. “I'll never figure out why you like the rough stuff, Madison.” He swatted her ass with a loud crack and her pu**y throbbed with excitement. Some of the heavy emotions churning through her body parted to make way for primitive lust. It was so much easier to deal with those feelings.
Oh, thank you.
“I only like it rough with you, Adam.” Because he was the only man who had ever made her feel so many profound and confusing emotions. And he was the only man who made her feel secure enough in her sexuality to even ask for such treatment.
“How many men have you f**ked, Madison?” he asked, his strong hand connecting with her stinging ass a second time. “Tell me.”
She groaned, so aware of the empty ache in her pu**y that she worked his leg between hers and rubbed her mound against his thigh. “In my entire life?” she asked. She kind of liked that he was jealous, even though he had nothing to be jealous about.
“Since we met.” He spanked her again. Her entire body trembled with need.
She fumbled under her dress to push her panties down. They got caught on his thigh, but she couldn’t find the strength to move away. She wanted him buried inside her while he spanked her.
“One,” she admitted. “Just one.”
His palm connected again, and she thought she might die if he didn’t fill her soon.