Beautiful Villain

“I wasn’t the primary on the case,” he finally says, standing up. “But I’m going to bring this to Alfred and see how he wants to handle it.” He turns to Neil and holds out his hand. “I’m sorry for my part in having you locked away. The justice system failed you, and I played a key role.”

Neil looks at the sheriff’s hand for a long time. I wonder what he’s going to do. What would I do, if it were me? Would I shake the hand of the man who pushed to have me locked up? Would I be willing to forgive him after so much time on the other side of bars?

But Neil is a bigger man than most people could ever imagine being. He stands up and he looks at the sheriff. He takes his hand and shakes it, but he doesn’t say anything.

He doesn’t say I forgive you.

He doesn’t say it’s okay.

It’s not okay, and he may never forgive anyone. I don’t know if I could. He is accepting this new way forward, though, and that’s a huge first step. No matter what happens next, Neil can rest assured that he was steadfast and strong. He was brave. He took a chance at moving forward and not being locked in the past. That’s more than a lot of people can say.

The sheriff seems to understand, and he turns to leave. I follow him to the front door and step outside with him. Neil stays in my living room.

“Sheriff?”

“Yes?”

He turns back to me, and even though we’re in the shadow of my porch, I don’t miss the tears glistening in his eyes.

“What’s going to happen?”

“I have no idea, Finley.”

He gives me a sad little shrug, which wasn’t really what I was looking for. I was hoping that the sheriff would be really take charge and strong. I was kind of hoping that he’d somehow be able to give me an idea of what exactly the next moves would be, but I know that he can’t.

That’s okay.

It’s fine.

Sometimes when you try to move forward, you don’t get exactly what you’re looking for. You might want passionate hope, but end up with just the dim satisfaction of knowing that you did your best.

That’s kind of where we are right now.

“Okay,” I manage to say.

He stays on the porch for a second and then he turns to me.

“Finley, when I buried my boy, I thought that was going to be the end of things,” he says. “I never expected this. I never expected any of this.”

Then he turns and heads back to his car, gets inside, and drives away.

Chapter Twelve

Neil

She comes back inside and reaches for me, pulling me close.

“I’m sorry,” she says.

Somehow, her words mean more to me than anything else anyone has ever said to me before.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not.”

“I know.”

We stand together, holding each other. Finally she pulls away, looks at me, and nods.