I hold her for a long time, allowing her to sleep. She’s got to be so damn tired. She’s practically been carrying the weight of the world, after all. She lost our friendship and then she lost her brother. What else has little Mallory lost?
And is she here because she’s willing to give us – me – a chance?
I don’t exactly know.
I wiggle out from under her and lay her down on the couch. Then I grab a little blanket and drape it over her. I’ve got some work I can tackle this afternoon, and I’m quite content to let her rest. I know she’s a schoolteacher, and I know that job is much harder than people possibly know. She’s got to wrangle up nearly thirty kids and not only keep them safe and alive, but she’s also got to make sure that they’re actually learning things.
It’s quite a task, and it’s a huge responsibility.
I head upstairs to my office and get to work. I leave the door open so I can listen for Mallory and so that she can find me if she needs to. Maybe she’ll want to come talk with me. Maybe she won’t. I’m not sure.
The only thing I know right now is that my cock is aching, begging for some release after that impromptu makeout session downstairs.
What was that all about?
I should have had more self-control, but damn, if she didn’t completely come apart when I started topping her.
We both knew what I was doing when I bossed her around just a little. She made a conscious choice to obey me, to listen to me. She didn’t have to, and we’re both quite aware of that. Perhaps that’s the biggest reason that having her here feels so right. She didn’t have to trust me, but she chose to.
I’m not about to betray that trust.
I am torn on so many levels because Mallory deserves much more than me. She deserves caring and kindness and protection.
We already have a history together, and our history isn’t exactly pristine.
It’s messy and complicated and a little bit wild. She’s been hurt before, and I’m very aware of that.
I just don’t want her to feel hurt again.
With a sigh, I turn back to my work and start translating. I’m working on a document for a company that wants to start doing business with overseas markets. In order to do so, their business documents need to be translated into Chinese. The work is tedious and difficult, but it gets my mind off of Mallory for a little while, and that’s what I care about right now.
I care about getting her off my mind and out of my head.
I need a break from the way I’m feeling about her. Only, after just a few lines of work, I realize that I’m not going to stop thinking about her. More importantly, I realize that I don’t want to stop thinking about her.
I hate that she’s been hurt so deeply and that she’s been wounded so badly. I’m not going to lie to her or to myself about the way I feel. I’ve missed her. I’ve missed her so very much. It’s probably not very cool to admit that out loud, but the truth is that my life has never really been the same without her in it.
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When Matthew passed away...when he was stolen away from us...I thought I’d never feel whole again. He was my very best friend. We did everything together. We lived together, we worked together, we took classes together. Our entire lives were completely entwined and then one day, he was just gone.
I didn’t know what to do, and I wanted to reach out to Mallory. In my mind, she was the only person who could possibly understand what I was going through, but there was a big problem.
She was going through something, too, and she couldn’t stand to be near me.
I hear a soft meow, and I realize that Jiji has come into the room. I turn and pick him up, pulling him onto my lap. Jiji meows again and stretches, lying down on my lap.
“Good kitty,” I murmur, petting him. Jiji is my favorite creature. He’s such a good cat. I’ve always liked pets and have always wanted to have one, but I lived in the dorms, and then in an apartment that didn’t allow animals. The first thing I did after I signed the papers on my home was to go down to the animal shelter and adopt my little kitty. I had planned on adopting an older pet that needed a home: perhaps one whose owner had passed away. The shelter had recently had a big push to get older animals adopted, though, and there were no cats left at all. Then, while I was there, someone brought in a litter of kittens they couldn’t keep or take care of, and that’s how I ended up with Jiji. I’d had to wait for him to have his vaccinations and check-up before I was allowed to bring him home, but I knew the moment I saw him that he was the cat for me.
That’s kind of how I’ve always felt about Mallory.
I’m not a virgin, and I haven’t always been a good boy. I haven’t saved myself for her and I haven’t sat around crying myself to sleep because we aren’t together, but I’ve always had a deep longing for her. I’ve always had this deep sense that something was missing from my life without her in it, and now that we’re close, I wonder if I’m going to be able to reach that next level.
The floor creaks in the hallway, and I realize that she’s awake. Jiji jumps down and runs to the hallway to peek at her. Sure enough, a second later I hear her whispering to him, and I smile to myself.
I had no idea that Mallory liked animals, but it makes me happy as a clam to know that she does.
“Hey,” she says, knocking gently on the door. My back is to the door because my office chair faces the wall with the big window on it. Usually, I prefer to have my back to a wall, rather than the door, but I couldn’t resist setting up my office so that I could look out over the quiet little town.