“I mean, if I date you, are you going to want to be in play-mode 24/7? Because I can’t do that. I have...I have a job. I like scening, Aaron, but for me, kink is separate from my real life.”
“I can live with that,” I tell her. “I don’t expect anything full-time.”
It’s the truth. I know that many couples love the idea of being in play-mode all the time. They like the idea of one party getting home and finding the other waiting on their knees. Some people love the Domination and submission that comes from picking out clothes for their partner or making all of the decisions in everything in their lives.
That’s not me.
For me, the beauty of submission comes from a woman who doesn’t need me at all, but who chooses me.
I love knowing that she could have any man in the world, but that she’s chosen to grace me, and me alone, with her submission and with her heart.
That’s what I want from Mallory.
I want that knowledge that she’s giving this to me willingly, as a gift, and she’s trusting that I’m not going to fuck it all up.
“Have you done that in the past?” She asks.
“Had a full-time partner?”
“No.” I have no interest in hiding my past from Mallory. To me, the past makes up a big part of who I am now. If we’re going to date, even casually, then I don’t mind sharing my past experiences with her.
Some couples like to hide the past and pretend it never happened, but again, that’s not my style. I’m much more happy being open and honest with my partners. I’m completely fine letting them know where I’m at, what I’m doing, and how I’m coping with the world around me. Part of that means letting them know about who I’ve been with before and how that’s affected me.
“I’ve been in relationships, but nothing long-term. I’ve never lived with a woman, and I’ve never had a child with a woman, and I’ve never collared someone.”
She reaches for her neck, almost automatically.
“Have you?” I ask her, stroking her skin at the place where she’s touching. Has she worn another man’s collar around her neck? I think it’s safe to guess that she hasn’t. Mallory doesn’t exactly act like she’s had all of the experience in the world, which is a bit strange to me since she’s been with other people before. She’s been playing at the club for awhile, according to our mutual friend, yet she doesn’t seem like she’s had a lot of experience in long-term relationships.
“No.”
“Why not?”
We’re back to the big question: why hasn’t she had a relationship?
Or at least, why hasn’t she had a long relationship?
“It’s complicated.”
“I’ve got all day.”
She peeks past me to my computer and then looks at me.
“It looks like you’ve got work to do.”
“Are you telling me what to do, little one?”
“No.”
“It sounds like you’re trying to be a little bit bossy.”
“Nope,” she shakes her head, and her hair bounces a little. I grab it, fisting it tightly, but not too hard, and I pull her head back.
“I want you, Mallory, but if we’re going to do this, then we’re going to play by my rules.”
She opens her mouth just a little. She gasps gently and then manages to nod.
“Okay,” she says.