With Mallory?
I’d let her do whatever the fuck she wanted.
But there’s no guarantee that’s what she’ll choose.
I look at her, and she hesitates. She’s wrestling with this choice. For Mallory, every choice is difficult. She’s lived a life of solitude and loneliness for so long that now, no matter what she chooses, she wrestles with the decision.
I feel bad for her.
These aren’t issues she should have to deal with on her own, yet she does.
Every single day, Mallory faces difficult choices, and every single day, she faces them as an individual instead of as part of a team.
Oh, but I could be on her team.
She’s got to want it, though.
She’s got to let me.
“Mallory?” I ask softly, bringing her back to reality. She looks up at me sharply, and then she bites her lip. Her eyes jerk to my cock and then back to my face, and then she pastes a grin on that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
“I’ll go feed Jiji,” she says quickly. “I’ll be right back.”
She turns, scurrying out of the room. Her pink dress bounces as she moves quickly away from me, and I hear her bounding down the stairs. If I had to guess, I’d say she’s taking those steps two at a time.
“Be careful!” I call out, but I’m not sure she heard me.
Chapter Fifteen
Mallory
“I pussied out,” I groan to Jiji, petting him as he dives into his food. This cat seriously acts like he’s starving. I didn’t even wait for Aaron to give me directions to Jiji’s food dish or food supply. I just started looking, and sure enough, I found it easily. Luckily for me, Aaron is super organized with this stuff, and he keeps everything easily accessible.
Now I look at the little cat, and I wonder why he’s so brave, but I’m not.
I’m really, seriously not.
Fuck.
I had the perfect chance to touch him, to play with him. There’s absolutely no doubt in my mind that if I had started undressing Aaron, I would have poured the truth out to him. I would have told him that I’m inexperienced as fuck, that I’m scared, and that I want him to be my first.
Shit.
I really, really want him to be my first.
The problem is that I’ve waited just a little bit too long, and now it’s weird. I know that no matter what happens and no matter how old I am when I first have sex, it’s going to be awkward. At 16 or 46, sex is weird when you’ve never done it before, but...
I don’t want it to be.
And I do want it to be with him.
I sit with Jiji on the kitchen floor. I cross my legs and run my hands over my pink skirt. It’s a little over the top, I know, but he likes it. I could tell as soon as I saw him that he really loved the dress, and that makes me so damn happy.
“Hello, princess.”
I don’t look up right away. Instead, I remind myself to not be weird, and to be normal, just this once, and then I finally look up at him.
And oh, he’s smiling for me.