“Um, okay,” I say, sitting up.
Fuck.
I was not expecting that.
I wasn’t expecting her to be like “Surprise, Aaron! Here’s my V-Card!”
But I’m not sure what I did think was going to happen.
Does this really change anything between us?
Not really.
“Are you mad?” She whispers.
“I do think you should have told me. Why didn’t you?” I ask, looking over at her.
“I was embarrassed about being a virgin,” she says simply.
“If that was true, you could have found someone to sleep with easily,” I say. “I mean, in case you haven’t noticed, we’re sort of in the epicenter of a sex haven.”
She laughs nervously, but shakes her head.
“It’s not that I didn’t think I could find someone.”
“Then what?”
“I just...I always kind of thought you’d be my first. When things fell apart between us...I mean, Aaron, nobody else just ever measured up. Is that stupid?”
Stupid?
Romantic?
I don’t know.
I do know that I wish she had told me she was a virgin. I would have made the night a lot more special than I did. It was still our first time, and it was still romantic, but I’m running over the evening in my mind, and there are so many ways I could have been more gentle with her.
There are so many ways I could have softened what happened.
There’s a part of me that makes me think I should feel betrayed. She kept a pretty big secret from me, but there’s another part of me that things she owes me nothing. If this was a secret she wanted to keep, then part of me feels like I need to respect that.
Is that true?
Does this sort of secret deserve to be honored?
“It’s not stupid,” I finally say. She breathes out this huge sigh of relief, and instantly, I feel horrible. She’s been carrying this secret for a long time. I mean, who the hell is a virgin when they’re 25? She waited a long time, and then she wanted it to be perfect.
And she chose me.
She chose me to honor with this gift.
“Thank you,” I tell her. “For trusting me enough to tell me.”
“You aren’t mad?” She asks, surprised. Then her eyes narrow. “Why aren’t you mad?”
“Because, little princess,” I chuckle. “In case you’ve forgotten, I’m the Dom in this relationship. I can always spank you later.”
“Oh!” She squeaks, and then I kiss her before she can say anything else.