“You’re gonna need to give me a few more details than that.”
My head thumps against the door behind me as I press my back to it and admit, “She hates me, Nora.”
“She doesn’t hate you––”
“She really does. It’s not like I blame her or anything, but…I dunno. I guess I was hoping there wouldn’t be so much animosity. At first, I thought everything was okay. Not great. But okay. Then I called her Say, and she lost her shit.”
Nora’s silence acts like a twist of the knife I embedded in myself all those years ago.
A few seconds later, her quiet voice echoes through the speaker. “Do you blame her?”
“I was trying to be cordial,” I defend.
“Doesn’t matter. You hurt her, Owen. I know you know that, but I’m not sure you really understand the depth of her pain.”
“Bullshit. I’ve been miserable since the day her––” My mouth snaps shut.
“Her what, Owen? You can tell me.”
“It’s nothing.”
“Why won’t you tell anyone why you ended it?” she snaps. We’ve had this conversation more times than I can count, but I still don’t know what to say.
She sighs but doesn’t push me, knowing it won’t do her any good.
“Listen, I know you won’t tell me why you broke up with her. But try to see things from her perspective. She doesn’t know you miss her. She doesn’t know that you never wanted to break her heart. She doesn’t know that you’ve been miserable since the day you left her. All she knows is that there’s physical proof that you moved on.”
“I never moved on––”
“You have a kid, Owen. She doesn’t know you were drunk off your ass, practically seeing double, and that the bitch dragged you upstairs, tampered with the condom, and got pregnant on purpose because she thought you were going to be a big NFL star who could be her own personal sugar daddy if she managed to get pregnant from a one night stand. And even though I know you don’t regret Grady and that you love him more than anything else in the world, Saylor doesn’t know his mom like you and Grady do.”
Defeated, I slide onto my ass but keep my back pressed to the closed door behind me. “What are you saying, Nora? That I should tell her?”
‘Cause I’ve tried that, I almost add but bite my tongue. The girl won’t read my freaking message. Or she has, and she doesn’t care.
“Not yet. If she can’t stand being in the same room with you, then I doubt she’d be willing to hear you out.”
“Then what do you suggest?”
“I dunno. Just…be patient, I guess. And figure out what you want before you try to fix something that’s already been obliterated.”
“Gee, thanks,” I mutter.
I can almost hear her smile as she returns, “I’m just saying that it’s not hopeless, but it’ll take a lot of work for you to even stand a chance with her after the hell she went through. Are you sure you’re willing to put in the work?”
My chest tightens before I lie, “Who says I want another chance with her?”
She scoffs. “You moved back. You didn’t have to say it.”
“Maybe I don’t know what I want.”
“Then why’d you move back?” she demands. Again.
“Because I want Grady to have a normal childhood.”
“He could have a normal childhood in a lot of places. Tell the truth, Owen.”
“I don’t…I don’t know,” I murmur. The lie leaves an acidic taste in my mouth.