My breath hitched.
Brian.
Brian happened.
He broke into my apartment and held a gun to my head, and when I bent over and puked all over his shoes, he slammed the butt of the gun against my temple. When he picked me up, I bit his hand, clawed his face, kicked him. We ran into everything in the apartment; it was trashed. Brian didn’t take it easy on me.
He took me.
I began to cry, tugging at the ropes behind my back. I wanted to feel my stomach. It was too early to feel the little bean move, but I wanted to comfort him or her. God, I hoped the baby was okay. Brian had kicked me in the stomach, that much I remember too, and if anything happened to my baby, I’d kill Brian.
“I brought you food.”
I screamed from Brian’s unexpected entrance.
“Oh, love. I’m so sorry. I never want to scare you.”
“What the hell do you think this is, Brian? A vacation?” I tugged on the ropes around my wrist. “This hurts. I’m in pain. Please, I need my hands to eat.”
He hit his temple with the palm of his hand. “Shut up! Shut up, bitch! Don’t you get it? You are mine now. You belong with me. You have always been mine.” His split flew in my face as he yelled at me. He gripped my chin, jerking me hard, and pulling me closer to him. My cheek throbbed, and the pain was almost unbearable. Every single bone in my body hurt. “You belong here. This isn’t a vacation. This is forever. Get that through your thick fucking skull!” He backhanded me again, and it made me fly back onto the mattress. The bed dipped as he crawled up my body. “My love, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. You make me so mad, but I don’t mean it, okay? I love you.”
I kept my mouth shut; sobs wracked my body, and tears soaked the sheet beneath me. The place smelled of smoke, and it was a bit stale like the air hadn’t been circulated in a few months.
“I know, I know it will be an adjustment,” he started to say, stroking my cheek. “But you need to know this is what is best, okay? Me and you. It’s what is best. Godrick, he doesn’t know what is good for you, what is best for you, not like me. We were together for so long; don’t you trust me? You will again. I’ll gain your trust. I haven’t been with another woman since we broke up. I love you.” Brian bent down and pressed his lips against mine, trying to kiss me, but I kept my mouth sealed shut. His tongue tried to enter, but I fought him off. “Fucking kiss me!”
I whimpered when he gripped my mouth, and the tight hold made my lips part. He moaned when he inserted his tongue between my lips, and I laid there limp, not showing him any satisfaction. I would bite his tongue off if he let go of my mouth. Then I’d spit it out and make sure it slapped him against the face.
“I’ve missed your lips.”
“Brian,” I mumbled the best I could with a squished mouth. “Please, don’t hurt me, okay?” I debated on telling him I was pregnant, but what if he kicked me again? I wouldn’t think he would hurt a baby. “Don’t kick me anymore. I’m pregnant. Please.” I shut my eyes tight as fresh tears spilled down my face, stinging the cuts on my face. “Please.”
“You’re pregnant?” He didn’t sound mad, but happy. “We’re going to have a baby?” His hand fell over my stomach, and the heat from his palm burned me, but not like Godrick’s burned me and left his mark. Brian’s touch but made me feel sick and damaged. “I can’t wait to tell our families.”
Families? Did he not remember my family only consisted of Logan? How far gone was Brian? The thought of having his baby made me want to die, but if it meant keeping my child safe, I’d have to play along with his delusion. I swallowed down the bile in my throat and nodded. “Yeah, we are going to have a baby, can you believe it?”
“We need a bigger place. We can go away, you know. Anywhere.”
“I like it here,” I said, keeping my voice small and weak, just like he seemed to like.
“I don’t care what you like!” He yanked my hair back, the devil staring back at me, promising evil. “You hear me? What you like doesn’t matter. It’s about me now. It’s not always about you, goddamn it!” He slammed my head against the headboard, making me see stars, wondering if my soul had left my body and made it to heaven with all the light I saw.
I cried silently, and Brian kicked the food tray, smashing it against the wall. Soup flew everywhere, small drops landing on my face. I regretted not telling Godrick about the baby. I should have. I was waiting for the right place; the right time. I wanted to surprise him, and now I might not ever get the chance to.
“Why are you doing this?” I swallowed my spit gathering in my mouth to try and ease the dry itch in my throat.
He sat on the bed next to me, the sun not as bright since it was setting, and he exhaled, clearly annoyed. “Lucy, Lucy, Lucy,” he shook his head. “You haven’t ever been the brightest; you know that? It’s one of the things that really pisses me off the most about you. You’re a fucking idiot.” He scratched his hairline, and that’s when I noticed the gun again. “But I love you because you’re still amazing. I can look over the stupidity.”
None of what he just said bothered me. He was a fucking psychopath. I would be an idiot to believe him. “We were together for so long; I don’t know how to be without you. So I decided I wouldn’t be. I’d find you, and I’d take you back.”
I didn’t miss how he said the word ‘take.’ He wouldn’t say, ‘ask for me back’ or ‘try to get me back.’ He just wanted me to be his.
“Now we are going to be a family.”
“You realize the baby isn’t yours, don’t you?”
He stood, slowly turning around and unbuttoned his pants. “We can make it my baby. Do you want that? Actually…the thought of fucking you while knocked up with that man’s kid does certain things to me.” He gripped his cock. It was small and skinny, nothing like Godrick’s. “I don’t want to, but the thought of getting him back by fucking you while his kid grows inside you…that would be so good.”
I pulled at the rope until it burned my skin. I needed to get out of here. The thought of him touching me made me sick. “No, Brian. Don’t. Please,” I cried. “I’ll do anything you want, but don’t do that. I’m asking you please. If you…if you ever want me to love you again, don’t do that.”