Chapter Fourteen
Quinn
He felt too good like he was fate or destiny as he gave me what I always thought was true love’s kiss. Sheets of rain pierced the water like bullets shot from a gun. They drenched us as we kissed, his tongue was silk, and he tasted better than he had ten years ago. Maybe it was because so much time had gone by, I didn’t know, but what I did know was my heart was soaring for the first time in a decade, and I never wanted to come down from the height he took me too.
“I never want to let you go again,” he yelled over the veil of rain, breaking the kiss, which sucked me out of the trance his lips had put me in. His hands cupped my jaw, and it was hard to look at him when the rain hit my lashes. “You hear me, Quinn? I’m never going to let you go. You were mine then, and you’re mine now,” he shouted.
I bit my swollen bottom lip into my mouth and pushed him away. “The only person I belong to is myself. I’ve been a pawn to a man for too long. I need time!” a hurricane forced wind blew the rain sideways, and it stung my skin. “It’s all happening too fast,” I said, pushing off the ledge. I swam to the steps that led out of the pool, but Jaxon stopped me by grabbing my wrist.
“Why won’t you listen to yourself? Why is it so hard for you to believe in me and what I am and am not capable of? Why can’t you admit you love me still, huh? Was your love for me that weak that taking a chance on me is that fucking hard, Quinn?”
“This is anything but easy. My entire life just changed again! Leading me right back to you after a man I thought loved me just wanted to kill me and take all my money.” I splashed water on him, slinging it against his face as hard as I could. “So I’m sorry if I’m not jumping into bed with you so you can get your dick wet. I’m sure that was all you really wanted anyway.” I turned around again to get away from him, but he wrapped his arms tight around my midsection.
“You have it twisted, Quinn,” his voice snuggled against my ear as he spoke, drowning out the rain and almost putting me in a trance again from how soothing the tone was. “You are convincing yourself not to try this thing between us, and I don’t understand why. You were never just a hole to fill, a body to use, you were more, so much more than any other woman has ever meant to me. You fucking know that. You know you made my world go round, so don’t think for one minute I’m the bad guy here. Remember, you left me. You left me picking up the pieces of my goddamn heart because you weren’t there when I needed you, and here I am, telling you that still doesn’t change how I feel, yet you still make me out to be a monster.” He gave my hips a slight shove, and he floated away from me, nearly blurring from how hard the rain fell. Jaxon yelled, “Did you ever think that the monster in this situation, was you?” Jaxon flipped around and hoisted himself up over the ledge of the pool. His entire body was for a woman that wasn’t afraid of getting manhandled.
He had more muscle than he did all those years ago, tattoos everywhere, even his plump, firm ass was tattooed. There wasn’t a free spot on him. His cock swung, even flaccid it was big, slapping against his thigh as he walked. Jaxon paused at a cabinet under an awning and opened it to grab a towel. The fluffy white material wrapped around his waist and hung low, below the carved lines of his hips. The outline of his shaft pressed against it, and memories of my first time having sex with him rushed forward. He felt so big as he took my virginity, and I was sure that feeling of being full a
nd stretched by him hadn’t changed, even if I wasn’t a virgin.
I still haven’t had sex with anyone else besides Jaxon. Not from the lack of effort on my end, Brian just didn’t want to have sex with me. It made sense now. He probably had sex with other women over the years while I remained this naïve woman who thought her fiancé was waiting until marriage.
I was so stupid.
Jaxon gave me one last look before turning around and going back inside to get out of the rain and away from me. I couldn’t stop thinking about the last thing he said.
“Did you ever think the monster in this situation, was you?”
No, I hadn’t thought like that because I was so used to blaming Jaxon over the years. Blaming a man in prison for killing his own sister was easier than looking for fault with me. He was right. I never gave him a chance to explain. I was a coward, and I turned my back on him too easily because of the pressure.
The pressure to maintain my reputation as a Taylor, fear for him going to prison, fear that he killed Tracy, and doubt did cloud my mind. I knew deep down, he couldn’t have done it, but it was so hard believing that when all things pointed to him being guilty. I could have visited him, wrote him those letters, believed in him like he wanted and maybe this situation would have never happened.
Did that mean I thought Brian killed Tracy? Every day that passed by, I was leaning more and more toward yes. If he wanted to kill me to get money, then why wouldn’t he kill Tracy, so she didn’t have the baby?
My teeth chattered, clicking together from the cold and the rain, and let’s not forget the rollercoaster of emotion inside me right now. Jaxon was right.
I was the monster.
I wrapped my arms around my chest, covering my breasts as I ran, as best I could, through the water and climbed up the steps. Swimming naked was a bad idea. Now, I was freezing since I wasn’t in the heated pool, and my clothes were soaked from the wind blowing every which way. I ran to the black cabinet where Jaxon got his towel and opened it, pulled out a tan beach towel, and wrapped it around me, tucking the edge under my arm. I was grateful that the towel was long enough to fall to my knees, but I was still nude underneath, and I had to walk through a house full of men, rough, no-bullshit, kind of men.
With a deep breath, I opened the door and stepped inside. “That’s cold,” I shivered when the air conditioning nearly froze me to death. I shut the door behind me, locking it, and made my way down the hall, coming to the room with books. I’d have to come back here. I needed a good book, especially since I wasn’t going anywhere for a while.
I continued down the hall, sliding my hands along the wall as I tried to figure out a way back to my room. I thought about how much love Jaxon had in his heart. I knew he’d never hurt anyone he loved, and that was why when the guilty plea came through, and they sent him away to prison for ten years, I was shocked, devastated, and I felt betrayal.
He didn’t kill her, the voice in the back of my head told me for the millionth time.
What was I so afraid of?
Being left alone in despair.
If I went out on a limb and was honest with myself, I was scared to be disappointed and left in the dark again, surrounded by people who wanted to see Jaxon die for what he did. What if I gave him a chance and he ended up killing her? He said he was a killer; did that bother me?
I had so many questions.
But there was one thing I knew, undoubtedly, I loved Jaxon. I never stopped being in love with him, and that should be enough for me to believe him. I was just a kid at the time, afraid of what it meant for Jaxon to go to prison, but we were adults now. The reality of the world didn’t scare me as much now as it did then.
I was a girl who lived in a mansion, and he was a guy who hustled on the streets on the wrong side of town. We weren’t supposed to be together in the first place, but he brought me down to his wicked ways, and I became addicted to him.
A catcall rang through the air, and I clutched my towel tighter, but when I searched the livingroom, it was just the old lady, Ingrid. “I remember when I was young, and I had a body like that. These guys wouldn’t stand a chance if I looked like you. I’d fuck all of them just to say I did. Oh, to be young again.” A nostalgic grin crinkled her lips as she thought back to the time when she was my age. I bet she had so many stories. I’d love to hear them; if I ever got past the twinge of discomfort, she made me feel. She said what she wanted, and I wasn’t sure what to think of her.