Cruel Infatuation (Underground Kings 3)

Build a dating profile.

I don’t want to date, date. I’m not trying to go out on the town with someone and build a huge future or anything. I don’t believe in futures anymore, not after what Kendall did.

No, that’s lie.

I don’t want to believe in a future anymore, but after Quinn and Jaxon found one another and then Sebastian and Gabriella, it’s hard not to believe in fate when it’s been thrown all around me lately.

Jaxon went to prison for killing his sister, something he didn’t do, and then ten years later he crashed Quinn’s wedding to stop her from marrying the real killer. Then, Gabriella had been in love with Sebastian for years, but his brother set him up, and Sebastian went to prison. Years later, Sebastian tried to find her, but Gabriella had been under lock and key with Sebastian’s brother.

He tortured her. He abused her for years. Just the thought has me wishing the man would come back to life so I could kill him, but Gabriella had that honor by strangling him with the whip he always used on her.

How the hell can I not believe in love or want it for myself if the people around me can find each other out of the most challenging pasts? It’s just me, Heaven, and Owen now. Heaven fucks anything that moves, and Owen is a loner by nature.

I’m only a loner because I’m too nervous to trust anyone again.

Quinn is pregnant, and seeing Jaxon rub her belly, talking to it, kissing it, laying his head on her lap so he can place his ear against it, makes me realize I want that. I don’t know how to have it. I’m fucking broken. Kendall put me through the ringer, and I don’t know how to get past the pain she caused.

She ruined my life.

Sure, I have the guys and more money than I can imagine now that we do heists. We haven’t been on a job recently since Jaxon and Heaven are healing from the explosion that nearly killed us last time. My side is okay. It still twinges, but I guess that’s what happens when a metal bar impales you.

My trust fund is gone. When my lawyer said Kendall was going after everything, I made him donate all of it to a domestic abuse charity. I had no money when I came to Jaxon’s door after deciphering a code in the paper. He was looking for a few guys, and I guess only certain people can dissect code.

After a few heists, I had more money than I ever had in my life. We would never ha

ve to plan another heist. Not if we didn’t want to. We had enough money for us, our kids, and our kid’s kids.

But we like it too much. Revenge is strong in this group since we were all innocents wrongfully accused of crimes were did not commit. Years later, after regaining our freedom, we feel an overwhelming urge to seek justice. Now, we are criminals.

We steal from other criminals. We haven’t had any backlash from Richard, the guy we tried to steal from when we all got injured. He’ll be lucky to find us. No one can. It’s why they call us the Underground Kings. We get in and out. The explosion set us back, and we almost got caught red-fucking-handed.

I’m glad we didn’t. One, I don’t want to go back to prison. Two, I have a better life now than I ever have. I want what my friends have, but I know that can never happen because I don’t trust a soul. I’m not capable of knowing how to put my faith in someone again. I’m a bitter man. I have been for a long time.

I’m not worthy of love anymore, and I know for damn sure I’m not capable of giving it. I don’t want to feel lonely, so maybe I can make a friend that isn’t based in this house.

I open my laptop and peek toward the door again. When I see the coast is clear, I open the browser and type: dating websites.

What else do I say? I don’t know what the hell I’m doing in this modern world anymore. Prison had the basics and the world changes a lot in eight years. It’s taken me the entire year that I’ve been out to learn all the new apps. It’s crazy how someone can order food with the touch of a button and have it delivered.

I always get Lighthouse Grill. It’s my addiction. They have my credit card on file there, since I order once a day, and Postmates delivers. My mouth waters when I think about their BBQ. I’ll have to order it in a bit since I’m suddenly hungry.

Scrolling through the searches, I skip all the typical ones. I’m not looking for love. Maybe I need more like a pen-pal or something instead of a dating site.

Dating websites.

Pen pal websites.

I sound so fucking lame doing this. Maybe a dating website is better because it isn’t so stupid. I can be honest and upfront in my profile and say I’m looking to make new friends and I’m not capable of love or whatever.

“One step at a time, Grayson. One fucking step. Just click on one.”

I click the back button, and the dating sites fill the screen again. I shut my eyes and scroll, then double-click.

Snapping my eyes open, I curse when I see I landed on a pornography site somehow. There are two pink outlines of naked women on the upper left and right corners of a webpage. “Live Cams available.”

Not even tempted.

I exit out by clicking the back button, and this time I learn my lesson and keep my eyes open to decide on a site. I click on one, and it takes me to the main page of LoveFocus.com. As I read the ‘about us’, I learn their site offers more than romance, but the chance to build friendships too. I move to the section to fill out my profile and click on the options that interest me and what I’m looking for in a partner or friend.