Cruel Infatuation (Underground Kings 3)

Not that it matters.

Nothing is going to happen.

I let out a shaky breath from the sudden cold that wraps around me. The fog is hanging light in the air, moving as a curtain across us toward the ocean. It’s so beautiful here. Since it’s so early, the waves aren’t wild and harsh like they were yesterday. There are barely ripples in the water now, and the seagulls must be sleeping since I don’t hear them cawing like the menaces they are.

It’s just us, and the silence is louder than the waves and the damn birds. It’s deafening.

“Hey,” I greet, folding my arms across my chest. “You okay?” I stop a few feet behind him, not wanting to get too close since I know I’m not welcome. He turns his head to the right and pinches his brows together as he keeps his eyes on the sea. His hair is messy, blowing in the wind, and his jawline, god, his jawline has to be made of steel.

I want to reach out and touch him, admire him, but I know when I’m not wanted.

“No, I’m not okay,” he says, tucking his hands in his pockets.

Another brisk chill drifts from the ocean and tickles the tip of my nose, making me sniffle. “Is there anything I can do to help besides leave?” I joke, trying to ease the tension, but it doesn’t work.

He turns his head to me and frowns, his brown eyes so dark I can’t tell where the pupil begins and ends. “That’s another reason why I’m not okay. I don’t want you to go, Finley. I should want you to go because…” He reaches behind his back and scratches his nape. “I have more on my plate than I ever have in my life. I have a kid. A very sick kid. My life is hard enough without adding someone to it who is too damn young for me. You’re barely eighteen. I feel fucking gross knowing we spoke when you were seventeen.” He lifts his hands and looks at them. “Like fucking dirty, Finley, and you know what? That’s your fault.”

“I know. I know, God,” I groan and pinch the bridge of my nose, then take a step forward to close the distance between us. “It was wrong of me. I’m so sorry.” My eyes water from the guilt consuming me, that’s been consuming me. “But I was in a really bad place, but that doesn’t make what I did right. My stepfather was a jackass. My mom is a prostitute. My life at home has been a shitshow for so long. I wanted to go somewhere that I felt safe. I wanted someone I could talk to that I could find peace with. Something, anything other than the nightmare I lived.” I take another step forward, and a tear rolls down my cheek. He’s frozen on the spot, his mouth is tight, and he doesn’t look like he believes me, but I need him to. “You were the only escape I had. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but everything we talked about was true. My goals, my dreams, everything. The only thing that was different was my age.”

“That’s a big thing,” he says.

“I know, but if you’re wondering if our friendship was a lie, it wasn’t.”

“That’s the thing, Finley.” He laughs, staring off at the ocean again. “The longer we spoke, the more I knew I didn’t just want to be your friend. Do you know how long I’ve avoided relationships? Since my ex-girlfriend accused me of rape. I lost my faith in everything. I served eight years behind bars, Finley, for something I didn’t do. She was the love of my life, my everything. She stabbed me so hard in the fucking back I swear I can still feel the knife inside me. After that, I never wanted to trust someone again. And then…” he scoffs. “And then, you fucking happen, and I did the one thing I never wanted to do again. But you had to twist that fucking knife, Finley. You dug it deeper into my back.”

“I never wanted that, Grayson. I can’t say much else except I’m sorry. Can we start over? P

lease? Now that I have you in my life, I want you in it, as a friend, as something.” As anything. I’m that desperate.

“Over? You want to start over? I can’t do that. I can’t forget all the conversations we had.”

I hang my head and hold back a sob. “I understand.”

His fingers raise my head by applying pressure on my chin. “I don’t want to forget everything. You know why I’m so fucking mad about it, Finley?” His thumb moves to my lip, and his tongue flicks out. His eyes turn from onyx to a glowing garnet, and the intense stare has me holding my breath.

“Because I want you, Finley.” He makes a noise in the back of his throat that’s between a growl and a moan. “I want you. I wanted you when I saw you on my doorstep. Damn it, I want you. You’re fucking maddening. I don’t like that you messed with my head, but you did, and I’m here, halfway in fucking love with you, and I feel like I’m picking forbidden fruit.”

He takes another step forward and in a gentle, unexpected move, he cups my face. “And I want a fucking taste, Finley. You shook me up, too fucking young, too fucking tempting, and the only thing fighting harder than my resistance is the screaming voice in the back of my head saying you’re eighteen. You’re legal.” The sound of laughter that follows sounds crazy.

I don’t know what to say. My mind is blank.

“When Howard was here to arrest you, I saw red. I realized the only reason I wanted you to leave is because I was too afraid to admit I wanted you. I want to let the anger go. I either need to focus on my kid without you here or have you by my side. It’s up to you. You’re young, and you don’t have the life experience I have. This isn’t a teenage relationship. I’m a grown man, and—”

I throw my arms around his neck and smash our lips together, not wanting to hear another word or reason why this can or cannot work. There are plenty of things against us already. My lie, our age difference, and everyone else that will frown upon our relationship.

His lips are soft, yet firm. Grayson’s arms wrap around me, pulling me tighter against his body. He doesn’t kiss like a man who hasn’t been with anyone in eight years. He kisses like a man who wants to possess me from the inside out. One of his hands cups the back of my head so he can dominate the kiss, and the other grips my hip. His tongue snakes out and caresses mine. I groan, loving that it isn’t too much, but just enough that leaves me wanting more.

My nipples are tight as they brush against his chest, and his cock is hard against my stomach, telling me how much he wants me. We moan into each other’s mouths, and his hand moves lower to grab my ass when a little boy’s voice ruins the moment.

“Ew, daddy is kissing a girl!” his son shrieks.

“Dude, no. That’s not gross. When you’re older, you’re going to want to kiss all the women,” Heaven says.

“Will not. Girls are gross,” Dillon defends himself.

Grayson brings the kiss to an end and leans his forehead against mine, leaving me dying for breath. My lips tingle, and my heart is pounding. I never wanted that kiss to end.

“I forgot that I’ll have to worry about him interrupting us. You need to be sure of this because if it comes down between you and him, if you make me choose, I’ll choose—” I silence him again with another kiss, while Dillon is in the background making gagging noises.